Posted on 10/11/2010 8:00:54 PM PDT by Bean Counter
With the holiday entertainment season upon us, it's time to compare notes about what the worst Party fare anyone has ever encountered. There are innumerable Culinary Disasters to relate out there, so why not start early and avoid an Entertainment Faux Pas of your own?
My wife and I worked for a title insurance company in Portland, Oregon for a while back around the turn of the Century, and we had numerous opportunities to experience some of the most goat-gagging recipes that people came up with for office pot-lucks and various event parties.
Some remain legendary, and my wife and I were dredging up a few of them tonight, hence this post.
Our joint vote goes to our Dearly departed former co-worker Rose, who presented the Staff with her personal offering of a very creative Jello mold; the recipe follows....
1 Package Lime Jello
1 Can Tuna Fish in Oil (it's important...)
Frozen Green Peas
Prepare the Jello per the box. To help cool it, add the frozen peas to the hot/warm jello (but make sure it is not hot enough to cook the peas...). As the Jello starts to set, add the partially drained Tuna, pour into the mold of your choice, and refrigerate until set.
To serve, turn the mold out onto a dinner plate, and the residual tuna smell will draw plenty of flies to garnish with...
The Tuna in Oil is important because when served, and as the mold warms to room temperature, the residual oil in the tuna adds a marvelous rainbow sheen (that contrast nicely with the fly wings) to the melting jello and the mostly raw peas....this recipe is obviously about the texture but don't discount the aroma...
What is the worst Hors-Ovary that you ever bumped into by mistake, either at an Office Party gone horribly, horribly wrong, or, as an alternative and in detail, what is the worst side dish that you ever experienced at any family gathering? Family recipes that would gag a starving vulture are legendary, so let's hear 'em!
You need not have tasted the dish, but you should be able to adequately describe what waved you off...
Have fun!!
By the way, Honorable Mention from our Title Company days goes to the attorney who presented on a dinner plate, an un-altered block of Philadelphia cream cheese, covered with a small package of precooked cocktail shrimp, with it all drowned with a bottle off-brand "Cocktail Sauce"....
sushi that sat out too long. i ate one and suffered severely.
Venison chile that had a lot of hair in it.
Roasted and candied crickets - Malibu Bar, Kyoto, Japan.
Head cheese on Ritz crackers.
I was a young (and not worldly) man at a Chamber of Commerce function. There were these interesting looking cookies on a tray. I bit into one. The “cookies” were salmon pate. Talk about a shock to the palate. I found a restroom and spit it out.
Chicken livers.
A multi-millionaire that brought couscous.
vienna sausage casserole
Dated a cajun girl, and her mom made a 17 meat gumbo. Was ok with it until I couldn’t think of 17 meats
I got served a plate of bile at the last Democrat Party event.
I’d still eat it...Meat is one thing that makes life worth livin’.
I understand that bile is often served in taverns in poor areas of China. Anthony Bourdain says some of them do a pretty good job with it. As for myself you could not pay me enough to eat it. I don’t care if Ezekiel came down from heaven and told me it was the yummiest thing ever and that I should try it. It ain’t happening.
In college, before a party began, a friend wanted to prove the point that drunk people will eat anything. He made a chex mix type snack and added dry dog food. Big bowl of it, empty at the end of the night.
As a testimonial to my choice of friends it would be that weird concoction of punch with Sherbert and 7up.
Kentucky Pate... basically ham salad with a twist - ground up ham, boiled eggs, even celery, mayonnaise, pimento, chopped onion, sweet pickles, a dash of mustard...
BUT... Substitute Baloney for the ham - big hunks of baloney instead of the ham... Actually it is pretty good - a bit sweet...
I once fashioned it up in a log shape - with fancy crackers and told the guests it was “Kentucky Pate” - everybody thought is was just great... lots of fun fooling folks... in a harmless way...
Bean, my late MIL didn’t bother with littlenparty dainties when she could torture main dishes.
I come from a family of respectable cooks, so it was shocking to learn my MIL learned her skills from Lisa Douglas. She was the picture of the little white-haired grandma...until it was dinnertime.
She once “marinated” a Thanksgiving turkey in cider vinegar. Yeah. And she didn’t have milk for mashed potatoes so she used turkey drippings. There are other stories that are now family lore.
I’ll admit to trying otherwise very successful recipes on my relatives during the holidays, but others appreciate the liverwurst/worsterchire/cream cheese and garlic ball!
They are great. Sweet, salty, crunchy, chewy, loads of protein, low residue (for long distance fighter pilots), and unfortunately, sorta look like large roaches.
They didn't sell. So I took them home and ate them.
/johnny
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