Skip to comments.Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice
Posted on 08/07/2011 6:16:43 AM PDT by foundedonpurpose
Home | World | Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice By Nelson Umerogwa 15 hours 53 minutes ago Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice
WASHINGTON DC - USA - An increasingly desperate Barack Obama has ordered twelve witch doctors from Kenya to be flown to the White House, CNN has reported.
"Obama is so desperate that he's turning to voodoo to get the U.S. economy back on track," a Treasury employee told CNN.
The White House was tonight being prepared for the arrival of the witch doctors, who will utilise many different techniques and materials for their special rituals.
"Help From the Old Country"
"They been doing this stuff for thousands of years so they know what to do. We're bringing in some goats and chickens and putting them in the East room. I told 'em to watch out though and not get any blood on the carpet," a White House aide said.
According to anthropological experts, the voodoo practitioners will all try to bring the U.S. economy back from the brink of certain destruction, but even if they fail, they will still get paid, much like real economic advisers and so-called experts.
"We're hoping for the Dow to rise by at least 600 points, depending on how many chickens are sacrificed," one of the witch doctors revealed just before leaving Nairobi international airport yesterday.
Unfortunately for Mr Obama, this is the last chance he has to make things work after he was caught sleeping on the job whilst a major economic meltdown happened right under his nose.
"Obama is using American taxpayers' money to fly these guys from Africa to Washington for three days, feed them and pay them. This just beggars belief," John Bullwark, a senior GOP representative from Texas told Fox news.
President Obama, who was attending his 50th hip hop shizazoe hizzoe bash yesterday, was not available for comment.
Zer0’s not playing golf this w/e?
Now that he has a plan we can finally compromise.../S
A marked improvement from his usual gang of Keynsians and Marxists.
What a waste of money... flying them to DC ... when
all Oboma has to do is look around; we have a Congress
full of Witch Doctors.
Zer0 should just share some sacrifice with Arugula and Kobe beef.
He will probably bring his Aunt Zuni in to interpret and do the blood drinking.
Just what we need, more witchcraft in the White House, which is an abomination to God. Why not just rain down more curses on us already, to go with the ones brought about by deserting our ally, Israel.
“We’re hoping for the Dow to rise by at least 600 points, depending on how many chickens are sacrificed,”
It takes dedication, resolve, purpose, and study to become a witch doctor. Finally there might be some adults in the White House.
Looks like this thread has no source - - no foundation either
Uhh, check your link, dude....
Check how long this “person” has been a member!
But it is entertaining.
Go to the Daily Squib. Read more. Laugh a lot. A fine source for entertainment—with a twist—as the stories are often believable!!! In today’s world of uncertainty and fear, it’s too bad humor is lost on so many people.
Next time post the correct link and in the correct forum, this is not news.
Funny, however the truth is even more alarming. The collapse of the economic system is exactly what he was trying to cause.
OBAMA: Mission Accomplished
He has given only lip service to creating jobs. Almost all the stimulus money spent had no hope of actually creating real jobs or jumpstarting the economy.
Well, if this doesn’t work maybe Zero will bring in Snoop Dog for consultation.
“When Nature Calls” in reverse.
Sorry! Thanx :~)
Are we sure this is for real...
Heh, Margaritaville anybody?!
I truly believe that even a witchdoctor could do a better job than Obama when it comes to economics. The best advice I could give this President is this: when facing an economic question, he should devote an entire day (actually work 8 hours) to come up with the best solution he could come up with. Once he has the solution, he should do the exact opposite. If he just did this, we would all be referring to him as the second coming of Reagan.
because, Obama is a big spender, and bringing in those people would cost less than if he were to go to Kenya for the advice in Air Force One, along with perhaps 200 or 300 people to “assist” him. He would, of course, also bring his wife and children along in Air Force Two, just for the goodwill, of course.
Seems appropriate, the song “Witch Doctor”, Alvin and the Chipmunks version.
Is that the pre-1961 colony of Kenya or the post-1963 republic of Kenya?
A witch doctor named Paul Krugman?
“According to anthropological experts, the voodoo practitioners will all try to bring the U.S. economy back from the brink of certain destruction, but even if they fail, they will still get paid, much like real economic advisers and so-called experts.”
Hmm....I doubt even illustrating capitalism in sheep entrails would be enough to give this administration a clue.
Family reunion at Camp David?
Why bring in witch doctors? Are Pelosi and Reid busy?
I just thought of something else. Maybe he’ll copy Reagan’s model. After all, GHW Bush said it was “VooDoo Economics” before Reagan made the biggest mistake of his life and choice him as veep.
So far we’ve had
Christina “bubble ass” Romer
Jared “I’m smarter than Biden” Bernstein
Larry “I switched from physics to economics” Summers
Austan “I can’t wait to get back to Chicago” Goolsbee
so why not try these guys?
The Wisdom of Calvin Coolidge
thanks, the link was corrected