(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[Lucky9teen]

Get out the Checker Board. Today is Checkers Day. So, do you want the red checkers? Or, the black ones?

It may surprise you to know that it is also Dogs in Politics Day. Read on, and I will explain the connection.

Origin of Checkers Day:

In 1952, Richard M. Nixon was a candidate for Vice-President of the United States, running with Dwight D. Eisenhower.  Media speculation centered around an $18,000 campaign contribution, and speculation that Nixon may have used some for his personal use.  In a brilliant political maneuver, Nixon took his case to the American people.

On September 23, 1952, Richard Nixon gave a speech that directly addressed and explained the issue. He assured the public that he did not use any of the funds for personal use. Towards the end of the speech, he stated that his daughters had received a dog, which they named "Checkers", as a gift. He said they would keep the dog.

This speech quickly became known as the "Checkers" speech, and went on to be one of the better speeches in American political history. 

With "Checkers" the dog included in the speech, this day was sometimes referred to as Dogs in Politics Day

Bow-Wow

Cats are Republicans and Dogs are Democrats

"I know it may be upsetting for many of you to discover the animal you cherish is of the opposite political party.

Would former President Bill Clinton ever be able to admit to himself that the late Socks was a Republican? Could Democrats ever bring themselves to forgive Checkers, the dog – and a Democrat – who belonged to Richard M. Nixon and whose mention in the famous 1952 “Checkers speech” helped save Nixon’s political career?

When cats are born, they believe they are in a state of liberty, and from then on they are determined to keep it that way. No one tells them what to do. They don’t believe it takes a village, because they know they might have to take instructions from the village idiot in the local government.

And, sorry if you’ve got one and you’re a Republican — but dogs are liberal Democrats. Some are possibly Socialists, though probably none will ever admit it.

Dogs are communal by nature. They run in packs. They dream of their days as wolves, sharing responsibilities.

Sure there’s a pecking order – an alpha, a beta and a zeta. It’s only humans who pretend that egalitarianism levels the playing field entirely.

Unfortunately, this instinct to subvert their personal welfare to the good of the whole also makes dogs easy to control. Big brother, in the form of their human masters, creates laws and executive orders that dogs slavishly abide.

Canines want rules and regulations to follow. If you could teach them to read and talk, they’d be carrying Mao’s Little Red Book and citing its verses.

They show little initiative. A dog is not particularly entrepreneurial and would never start a small business. If he did, he’d let you tax it at confiscatory rates — as long as you gave him a treat.

The best you can do with a dog is train him to work on an assembly line, doing the same trick, time after time. He’s a natural proletarian, waiting for his union card to come through.

Dogs will also happily take a government job.

Dogs were very excited when President George W. Bush created the Department of Homeland Security. They were more than ready to sniff for bombs or protect secure government sites, that sort of thing. One even signed up for the raid that took out Bin Laden.

But dogs also want to save the world generally. They’re bleeding heart liberals.

Some, you may have noticed, are community organizers, herding sheep and other creatures of the field into groups for the betterment of their welfare.

Many dogs eagerly sign up each year for government programs to assist the blind. And who ever heard of a cat running into burning building to save their owner?

Which brings us back to cats.

Have you ever tried to get a cat to do something? Anything at all? Out of pure principle, they will reject your command — even if they know full well it will benefit them.

Because above all else, above even their personal welfare, cats value freedom.

How else to explain that cats will spend all day looking out the window, but then if you put a leash on them to take them out, they’ll drop to the floor and scowl at you as if you were worst thing possible —perhaps an auditor from the Internal Revenue Service.

While we’re on the topic, cats would never pay taxes. Taxes are for suckers, they’d tell you.

But put a leash on the dog, and he’ll happily trot out the door and go wherever you take him.

This is really why cats hiss at dogs – not because dogs chase them.

My cats watch me endlessly throwing a tennis ball for my border collie – supposedly the smartest dog – and sneer with contempt. Such mindless obedience to a task. Such desperation to please. Disgusting.

Unlike dogs, cats have not had the ability to hunt breed out of them. I mean dogs can hunt, but only to chase their prey up a tree.

Cats finish the job. They are natural proponents of the Second Amendment. If they could get their paws around a trigger, they’d shoot to kill. Dogs are born skeet shooters - fishermen who throw their catch back in the lake.

What’s more, cats would gladly enforce the death penalty. Particularly for dogs.

Cats favor a foreign policy that is so assertive they sometimes need to be declawed. Dogs run together in a U.N.-style “dog park,” where they willingly submit to an overseeing body of owners whom they charge with keeping the peace.

But cats are to the left of dogs when it comes to the environment. Just watch how they carefully cover up their business in their sandboxes, keeping everything fresh and nice. Dogs will – how shall we say – pollute right in your front lawn.

This doesn’t make dogs Republicans or cats Democrats. It just means that sometimes they can see the other side’s point.

Which of course makes them each wiser than their elected representatives in Washington.

 

I have two 3-year-old female Chesapeake Bay Retriever hunting dogs, Lucy and Cassie.

My dogs sleep about 20 hours a day.

They have their food prepared for them.

They can eat whenever they want, 24/7/365.

Their meals are provided at no cost to them.

They visit Dr. Dan or Dr. Mel once a year for their checkups, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For this they pay nothing and nothing is required of them.

They live in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than they need, but they are not required to do any upkeep.

If they make a mess, I have to clean it up.

They have their choices of luxurious places to sleep.

They receive these accommodations absolutely free.

They are living like queens, and have absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of their costs are picked up by me, living on just my retirement and Social Security.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head.

Holy Mackerel, my dogs are Democrats!

20 Most Recent Presidential Pooches (& Other Pets)

[Lucky9teen]

Did anyone notice the changes that FaceBook made this week?  Ugh...

 

[ShadowAce]

WooHoo!! It’s Friday!!!!

[Loud Mime]

Yay! It’s Friday!

[Currentriverrat]

WOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF

[Loud Mime]

[Dr. Thorne]

Top 10, baby!

[CPOSharky]

Jerry and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the
squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Jerry didn’t show up.

Sam didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something..
But after Jerry hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn’t know where Jerry lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Jerry, but one day,
Sam approached the park and— lo and behold!—there sat Jerry!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, ‘For crying out loud Jerry, what in the world happened to you?’

Jerry replied, ‘I have been in jail.’

‘Jail!’ cried Sam. What in the world for?’

‘Well,’ Jerry said, ‘you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?’

‘Yeah,’ said Sam, ‘I remember her. What about her?

‘Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled ‘guilty’.

‘The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.’

[Lucky9teen]

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SURPRISE!!

TIME FOR MORE

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

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[Mr. Jazzy]

WooHoo!

[Envisioning]

Top 10?

Cats are Republicans and Dogs are Democrats (((ping)))

[SMARTY]

“Dogs on Politics” day?? Really??

They made a whole day special for Evita?

[frankenMonkey]

[Envisioning]

Please read, sounds bad at first....just hang on....

What The Fire Chief Said… For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible. Not fair to make judgment of this until you see what the Fire Chief says!!!!

In South Los Angeles, a 4-plex was destroyed by a fire.

A Mexican family of six, all welfare recipients and gang members lived on the first floor, they died.

An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country from Kenya, lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire.

6 LA Hispanic Gang Bangers and ex-cons lived on the 3rd floor and they, too, died.

A lone, white couple lived on the top floor. They survived the fire.

Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA and met with the fire chief, on camera. They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims and Hispanics all died in the fire and why only the white couple lived?

The fire chief said

wait for it.....

"They were at work."

[Envisioning]

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent and asked that the boy speak to his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some ass-hole wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir." the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."

"Get outta here!" the boy said. "Who'd she play for?"

[TomGuy]

Because above all else, above even their personal welfare, cats value freedom.

Just start the electric can opener, however, and ...

Every one has their price; some are just higher than others.

[BigFinn]

[Bean Counter]

[workerbee]

[martin_fierro]

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[Mr. Silverback]

Top 20!