Posted on 10/15/2012 10:26:38 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets
Washington — The stock market is poised to soar today after the release of a report by the Council of Economic Advisers projecting a major surge in economic activity upon President Obama’s reelection in November.
“Recent events demonstrate that after the upcoming election, President Obama will finally have the tools needed to jumpstart a robust economic recovery, with significant declines in unemployment, the deficit and national debt,” the report states. “Until now, the administration’s recovery efforts have been stymied by a simple lack of information.”
Pressed for details, White House press secretary Jay Carney explained, “Until last week, neither the intelligence community nor the Labor Department had told the president and vice president that the unemployment rate’s been above 7.8 percent for the last 44 months. Had they only known, they would’ve taken some kind of action to lower the rate.”
Reached for comment outside a local pharmacy, a grinning Joe Biden confirmed Carney’s assessment. “The economy’s in shambles,” he giggled. “The middle class has been buried over the last four years because the intelligence community and the Treasury Department never told the president and me that we’ve got a $1.3 trillion deficit and $16 trillion national debt. Look pal,” he snarled, “had we known, you can bet we would’ve implemented a recovery plan. But no one ever asked us to.” Aides to the vice president privately admit that he remains bitter after Langley supposedly incorrectly informed him that President Roosevelt went on television in 1929 to reassure Americans about the state of the economy.
(Excerpt) Read more at nationalreview.com ...
Satire, eh? Got me again.
Newt Gingrich said it: “If Obama is defeated, the economy will begin to recover the evening of Nov. 7th”
There may be bubbles in certain parts of the economy but it won’t be growth and it will case more pain when they burst.
Riiiiiiggggghhhhhhtttttttt!!!!! What are they experts in - economic depression??
Allow me to make a prediction - assuming that zero is not re-elected and Romney wins AND the economy starts to surge, will these same "experts" claim that it is "unexpected?!!???
Inquiring minds . . . . .
Cheap easy way to knock out a column.
LOL! THAT is funny!
Pretty clever satire. Entirely believable with the head cases we have in charge.
I figured it either had to be satire, or maybe NRO was mistakenly used for that liberal rag, The New Republic.
My radio commercial that I have made myself will have to wait until I know what direction this country will take on November 6th. I cannot imagine trying to start a business with all the pain that this administration will put on all the businesses in America. This is my American dream and only a devout socialist will take it away. n/s
Satire and reality have become one in ObamaWorld.
The Office of the President-Unelect.
Great satire! Was totally sucked in by the first two paragraphs! It was, like WTF??? What idiots wrote this? Uh, wait a minute, is this satire? So I kept reading, and yes, burst into laughter!
Even if we don’t take back the Senate, a major 1994-like tidal wave will put the fear of God, or at least of the Tea Party, into Dirty Harry’s minions. The 1994 election stopped HillaryCare dead in its tracks. Bill wanted to get reelected so he gently took his beloved bride aside and softly whispered in her ear, “stfu”.
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