Posted on 01/06/2013 12:00:02 AM PST by MacMattico
Please say a Prayer for my mother.
I don't think I've ever asked some one to pray for some one else before, but she's in a tough spot. If it is her time to go it will hurt terribly, but as Catholics and the fact that she is the most caring, loving person I have ever met, I know we will meet again in a better place.
I'm also extremely upset with the hospital, and I don't want this to happen to others.
On the day after Christmas, my mother was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with Pneumonia. They also told us her kidneys were not functioning very well, but not end stage or where she needed dialysis or anything like that. Her lungs had a lot of fluid in them. Fast forward four days and they said the fluid was gone as well as any sign of infection. But my mother was still mostly unresponsive and wanted to sleep all of the time. My sisters and I have been able to wake her on occasion and she will talk with us for a few minutes before going back to sleep. When she had the fluid in the lungs, they did not provide hydration as they said she couldn't handle it, antibiotics were intravenously given. So, obviously, at least to me, when they said the fluid was gone and infection cleared up, I expected to see the IV fluids begin, but they didn't. I demanded hydration be started and every excuse was given to me: she didn't need it, she woke up and drank enough,( not true, my sister and/or I were there hour after hour and she wasn't drinking). I asked the doctor if he were trying to kill her -- it was going on 3-4 days with no adequate fluids. I told him my mother was Catholic and would not want to die from dehydration and starvation-- that was her biggest fear. He then said she couldn't handle it. I said I was going to speak with an attorney if she didn't have IV hydration when I came back in an hour. I came back in an hour and she had three bags of fluids and basically sugar water hooked up to her IV. She has been on this ever sense, no problems. And of course her kidney function improved with fluids, obviously. You can't urinate without fluid!
Now we are well over a week and my mother has barely eaten. My family inquired into ways of feeding her, a tube through the nose, feeding tube, intervenously. The doctor absolutely refuses saying her organs can't handle it! I said if your telling us she's going to die anyway due to organ failure, we want some nutrition provided. He refused and said she can go without food much longer, but I reminded him she knows what is said to her, responds, and I had called the nursing home where she had been staying (because she had trouble getting around and making meals and taking her medication on time), and they said she wasn't eating well for approximately two weeks. So we're going on three weeks with little to no food intake! The hospital refuses to feed her ! My mother is weak and has diabetes-- I can't see how trying nutrition after all this time could hurt her any more! I argued with the doctor and he refuses to follow our wishes-- a nurse even tried to change her DNR which only indicated she didn't want CPR! I caught her and threatened her with calling the police as the whole family has seen the dnr and knows what's on it. I guess the doctors argument is because she is on oxygen at night it would make it easier for her to bring up any liquid in her stomach and choke to death and that her organs can't handle it-- yet he keeps saying "maybe next week" like she's going to get better! I really think he just wants her to die as quickly as possible, and it's killing me she is not being fed. He almost went ballistic when another doctor checked her out and she knew it was January, her name and that Obama was President-- she even rolled her eyes at the name Obama! He wanted to tell us she was brain dead or close to it, I honestly think. I don't know what to do. He's says she may choke at night with the intense oxygen mask they give her and her organs can't take food right now, yet the nurses had me trying to feed her from a tray yesterday! She took only one bite and fell asleep. I don't know what to do! The doctor acts like a feeding tube will be torture, I think starvation is. There are no family members that disagree with me. Our family Priest has says she has a right to hydration and nutrition, the doctor says no nutrition "in her condition" which he constantly changes. She is on Medicare (although with the best supplemental money can buy) and I think the death panels have begun.
I've seen this, and agree...
Thanks. Hope I helped.
Mac, PLEASE take fatima’s suggestion and call Terri’s Network first thing this morning! They were the first thing I thought of when I saw your thread, her family formed the organization to help people in just this situation. I will be praying for your Mom, and for you.
Terri Schiavo Life & Hope Network
If you have a family member who is in or potentially facing a life-threatening situation please contact us immediately:
Phone: Call TOLL-FREE 1.855.300.HOPE (4673)
http://www.terrisfight.org/need-help/
I am from Syracuse NY.... Kind of went thru something similar w my father. Is she at crouse irving? U may need to move her or demand another doctor. As stressful as this is, it will save her life.
I feel for you. I have two sick inlaws. I can’t imagine
Prayers up!
Father in Heaven, please watch over MacMattico’s mother, heal her body, ease her pain, and comfort her family. Please provide caring physicians that give proper medical care and do what is needed for this lady to get well. I pray and ask these things in the name of Your Holy Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.
Prayers up.
Prayerful Bump.
Get her out of there. Get another physician.
In ‘07, my mom was taken to a hospital in Rochester, NY. Couldn’t lift her arms, open her eyes, walk, and when she tried to swallow and water came out her nose. She had to be carried. Since there was no nutrition, she was basically dying. The ER doctor said, “She’s just old”, and told us to take her home (to die). She was 82. We took her home because they wouldn’t admit her. This was before the “death panel” issue, but not before “affirmative action” in medical schools — if you get my drift.
That afternoon, my sister went online and diagnosed the problem as Myasthenia Gravis. She called the specific department at the hospital and said she was bringing her in and they had BETTER treat her. Mom went in and after 24 hours of IVIG, steroids, and IV hydration, she began to rally. Now she’s 88 and has more get-up-and-go than her kids do.
The days of being able to trust doctors to make correct diagnoses are gone. Every family member has to be pro-active. It’s a terrible state of affairs when a secretary can diagnose a problem that a physician can’t. We’re so used to taking as Gospel what a doctor decrees, but we can’t do that any more.
Are there Catholic hospitals in Syracuse where life is valued? I’m not Catholic, but is there an organization of Catholic attorneys who take on these kinds of cases? I know how helpless you feel — have been there. Will pray for her and you.
God bless your sister! And thanks for sharing this story. You may have saved someone's life.
I had a similar experience in self-diagnosis. I don't know how much you can blame the doctors. It varies by case. They have a limited amount of time to deal with each patient, whereas, in my case, I spent hundreds of hours doing research on the web. OTOH, in my case again, of three doctors, only one was able to get my diagnosis in the ballpark, which should have been fairly simple.
I had a friend who almost died from an abdominal infection years ago. She was in the ICU for almost 2 months.
They gave you IV nutrition. It was a huge needle that ran into her neck and pumped the nutrients directly into her veins.
There is no excuse to starve a person.
But you need to be aware that, if she’s gone 3 weeks without food, she would need to be refed very carefully. Her doctor may be right that she can’t handle it, but he should be DOING something to help her recover or to support her while she heals.
Many people don’t know that hundreds died in the week after the liberation of Auschwitz. The allied troops felt sorry for the starving prisoners and gave them candy.
It’s called ‘refeeding syndrome’. The body is in deep ketosis and very weak. You need to bring them back with fat, protein and nutrients. Just little bits of carbs every few hours with the other things.
There’s a reason for chicken soup.
When my mother was sick I would make her chicken or beef soup with veggies and some rice. I thickened it a little with corn starch so it didn’t come out too watery. I then blended it in the food processor into a paste. (It was the same recipe that I used to make homemade baby food for my son.) I fed her a bit every two hours.
These new DNR protocols were started in our local hospital over a year ago as part of Obamacare. If the doctors and hospitals refuse to follow these guidelines there funding is cut off.
These new DNR protocols were started in our local hospital over a year ago as part of Obamacare. If the doctors and hospitals refuse to follow these guidelines there funding is cut off.
Second opinions are good; doctors aren’t perfect as some of them might think they are. - Prayers for your mother.
I have read through all the posts and you have been given great advice.
A few years back, we experienced a similar situation with my mil. Living near Syracuse, I could be wrong, but I have an idea what nursing home and hospital you are writing about.
(((MacMattico)))
Prayers up.
YOU and YOUR siblings are your Mother’s voice and advocate. The group of you cling together and stay strong as a group. GET her the heck out of there. Find an elder law attorney and fast. Talk to her GP and fast... get him to step in. Try to get her transferred to another hospital. I am not sure about NY hospitals but try to find another doctor in another hospital to “accept” her as his/her patient. He can then act as the accepting doctor. You may have to find the elder law attorney to start moving this process. As much as we balk at lawyers, when we really need one.. they matter. An attorney can scare the hospital into having her transferred.
Prayers for you and your Mom, of course. That goes without saying from me. May I add this note from personal experience: stay strong as a sibling unit. The in-laws should have no voice.. she isn’t their Mom. The last thing you need is a SIL or a BIL disagreeing and putting pressure on you. I’ve been in that position, MacMattico, and in laws can become the wedge. Please keep us posted and my prayers/best wishes/hopes are with you and your Mom. God Bless and hugs.
How sad. I join in urgent prayer for your mom, you and all the family!
It can FRiend, but it also can be only due to how ill they are at the time : |
My mom has COPD, and was in the hospital with pneumonia just this past October. On the first day she repeatedly expressed a desire to just pass on, but in the next days, as she got better, we never heard another word about it. *(She had a similar bout with pneumonia two years earlier, and my sister said she had followed the same emotional downturn, followed by a steady recovery.)
Even now, we will talk about things that happened during the time that she was the sickest, and she has NO memory of it, so she clearly was not in her right mind, and believe me, even after all of that, and at 84, she is back home, doing MUCH better than we expected and is almost as sharp as ever, which is pretty durn sharp, lol!
Prayers lifted for you in your loss, for MacMinnit’s mom and for all who are trying to stay strong against the challenges of this world.
May God keep watch.
Tatt
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