***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day

When : Always March 29th

Smoke and Mirrors Day is a day of illusions. The term "smoke and mirrors" means something is not really as it appears to be. People often put up smoke and mirrors to hide something.

This day is also referred to as the Festival of Smoke and Mirrors. We did not discover an actual festival of this nature. But, who needs historical facts to have fun an a special day? Let's get out and enjoy Smoke and Mirrors Day to the fullest.

A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine. "Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?"

"Yep." "Were there any survivors?" "Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked Well," the farmer
grumbled, restarting his tractor."He kept a-saying he wasn't...

But you know how bad that sumbitch lies...*

[red-dawg]

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"

Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse.

Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"

"Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"

Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!

"Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies,"Hurts, don't it?!"

[Pan_Yan]

41 posts on Good Friday and no pictures of peeps yet?

[N. Theknow]

This internet law was proposed by Mike Godwin back in 1990. His law states: “As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1 (certainty)”.

[CharlesMartelsGhost]

[N. Theknow]

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters. On the bottom row were these letters:

‘C Z W I N O S T A C Z.’

‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked.

‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied - ‘I know the fellow.’

[r-q-tek86]

Nice. Gotta send that one to my son.

[ArGee]

[ArGee]

[ErnBatavia]

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

[Arrowhead1952]

I think that post got zotted on a couple of OFST threads.

[envisio]

Looking Forward to Sunday Easter.

One of my brother’s biggest indulgences is shooting. Well, he owns the land where our range and classes take place.
For lent he gives up shooting (a very big sacrifice in my circle).

Getting ready to return Sunday to the land. I am having shooting withdrawals....

[envisio]

The one last week that got zapped showed basically the same angle but the girl had on a thong. Thats prolly why it got zapped. Either way, they have been saved I’m sure.

[Cyber Liberty]

Oh, I like that one. Had one of my FB friends change to the “red equals sign” for her avatar, and suprised me by saying gay marriage is just hunky-dory.

[ArGee]

[envisio]

I don’t understand this ‘friend’ thing.

My daughter has 400+ ‘friends’.

She has 10, maybe 12 people she hangs out with. She doesn’t even know 400 people.

[Cyber Liberty]

The one that got the zot had considerably fewer clothes on.

[Cyber Liberty]

I have a few because they’re either a) relatives or b) we share interests. I think kids get huge numbers because it’s a status symbol. The one I have that did the homo avatar is my wife’s niece, so I didn’t rip her a new one for it. Yet. Surprised me because she home-schools her kids.

[ArGee]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUb2-28adB0

For those who drive.

[Lucky9teen]

It's all material