Things that make you go.......................Huh?
Posted on 07/26/2013 5:52:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
How can you tell an introverted engineer from an outgoing one?
The outgoing engineer is the one looking at YOUR shoes.
Two different bikes. If you look sometimes the tank is right at the guy’s back on a monoframe and in other shots the tank is sitting down between the rails of a split frame.
Lorenzo St. DuBois
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkYBJId7WZs
Well, guess what happened.
.
I forgot to look where I was going. 
So my wife told me to LOOK. .
.
.
.
So I did...
I give up.
What color are cheerleaders?
YELLER!
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
Yeah, I got every one of them too. I don’t know if that’s something I should be proud of....
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, “I like both.”
“Both?” they asked.
Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.”
An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn’t have the personality of an accountant.
Engineers have no life—and can PROVE it mathematically!
You’re Really an Engineer If...
-you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
-you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids’ toys together.
-you see a good design and still have to change it.
-you window shop at Radio Shack.
-your wife hasn’t the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
-you’ve already calculated how much you make per second.
-you’ve tried to repair a $5 radio.
A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer were led to the guillotine for their crimes. The executioner pulled the priest forward first and asked him if he wanted to be facing up or down when he met his face.
“Upward,” said the priest. “I want to be looking toward heaven when I die.”
The blade zoomed downward, but stopped just an inch short of the priest’s throat. All assembled agreed that it was divine intervention, and let the priest go free.
The drunkard was pulled forward next, and decided to copy the priest, hoping he would get as lucky. Again the blade zoomed down but stopped just short of the drunkard’s throat. So the authorities released him as well.
It was finally the engineer’s turn. He, like the others, decided to face upward. The blade slowly raised back into place. “Oh, hey, I think I know what the problem is.” The engineer exclaimed. “That cable to the left appears to be catching the rope!”
• An adaptation of “A Few Good Men”...
CAST:
MEP Engineer: Jack Nicholson
Architect: Tom Cruise
MEP Engineer: You want answers?
Architect: I think I’m entitled to them.
MEP Engineer: You want answers?!
Architect: I want the truth!
MEP Engineer: You can’t HANDLE the truth!!
Son, we live in a world that has CHILLERS, BOILERS AND SWITCHGEAR. And those PIECES OF EQUIPMENT have to be LOCATED IN ROOMS. Who’s gonna DESIGN THEM? You? You, MR. ARCHITECT? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
You weep for LOST PARKING SPACES and you curse the SIZE OF MY GENERATOR. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that THOSE MEP SYSTEMS, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you WANT me on that DESIGN TEAM. You NEED me on that DESIGN TEAM. We use words like DESIGN, CODE, ANALYSIS...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent PROVIDING OWNER COMFORT AND ENERGY EFFICIENCY. You use ‘em as a punchline.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my DESIGN to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very ENVIRONMENT I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a DUCTULATOR and DESIGN a BUILDING SYSTEM. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!
Architect : Did you OVERSIZE THE MECHANICAL AND ELECTRICAL ROOMS?
MEP Engineer : (quietly) I did the job you HIRED me to do.
Architect : Did you OVERSIZE THE MECHANICAL AND ELECTRICAL ROOMS?!!
MEP Engineer : You’re g-ddamn right I did!!
That is about to get blasted to twenty people in an email.
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