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Duck Dynasty Sparks Christmas Dinner Food Fight in Westfield
Staff article ^ | 12/25/13 | Staff

Posted on 12/25/2013 12:31:51 PM PST by Rebelbase

12/25/13 3:15pm

(Westfield, NC) A Stokes County family's Christmas dinner erupted into a food fight that started over a disagreement about Duck Dynasty, the A&E channel's reality television show about the Robertson family.

The Watson family was at their home-place enjoying a large gathering of grand children, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles. "Mamma does it right every year, the food is delicious" said family member Billy Watson; "It's the only time of the year when the entire family is able to gather for an afternoon".

The Duck Dynasty controversy came up in conversation at the table while the family was enjoying a meal of ham, turkey, roast, pork roast, country steak, sausage balls, BBQ, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, macaroni and cheese, fried jowls, fried corn, fried chicken livers, green beans, lima beans, beets, collards, cabbage, chow-chow, cranberries, biscuits, cornbread, Pepsi and iced tea.

"One of the nephews, Bobby Fulp, married a woman from Massachusetts and they live in Boston; She thinks mighty of herself and has one of those hyphenated last names", according to Betty-Sue Watson who is Billy's wife. She continued, "The duck show came up and we all thought Mr. Robertson didn't say anything hateful and thought it funny how worked up people were getting over truthful comments. Bobby's wife took offense and called us homophones. I said I guess the truth hurts, don't it? and she wouldn't look at me. I said it again and she still wouldn't look at me. That's when I flicked a piece of biscuit at her to get her attention and all hell broke loose".

"Food was flyin' everywhere. It was almost funny until Mamma got hit in the face with mashed potatoes and gravy. Everyone stopped and Mamma just sat there for a moment with gravy dripping off her glasses. She took off the glasses and her face squished up and we all knew it was coming, she busted out crying and all of us felt horrible for ruining the meal she worked so hard to prepare".

"For a large family, we all get along just fine, except for Bobby's wife. She thinks she's better than everyone else and has Bobby wrapped around so tight we all say he's cross-eyed".

The food fight almost sparked blows between Billy Watson and his cousin Bobby Fulp as Betty-Sue Watson relates, "Billy called Bobby's wife a Yankee bitch and Bobby got riled".

The two were separated by family members and things settled down enough for the family to enjoy deserts of banana pudding, apple pie, pecan pie, peach cobbler, blackberry cobbler, Jello, chocolate meringue pie, lemon meringue pie, brownies, coconut macaroons, cheesecake, red velvet cake, fruitcake, cookies, ice-cream, cinnamon rolls, Pepsi, coffee and iced tea.


TOPICS: Humor; Outdoors
KEYWORDS: humor; justdesserts; satire; yankeebitch
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Bound to happen somewhere. ;-)
1 posted on 12/25/2013 12:31:51 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: RegulatorCountry

Sounds like Westfield doesn’t it?


2 posted on 12/25/2013 12:32:29 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase

HUMOR.

SATIRE.

MOST OF THE TIME.


3 posted on 12/25/2013 12:35:08 PM PST by Mrs. Don-o (Department of Redundancy Department.)
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To: Rebelbase

LOL. This story makes me hungry.


4 posted on 12/25/2013 12:36:23 PM PST by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: Rebelbase
...a Yankee bitch...

Here in Red England, it's hard to find one who isn't...

5 posted on 12/25/2013 12:38:01 PM PST by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: Rebelbase

well you trotted out what you thought were the stereo types of a southern Christmas meal…frankly I am offended beyond belief. Your food list is non authentic and ridiculous. Moreover you served Pepsi and iced tea… things that would never happen south of the Mason Dixon. What the heck is stuffing…if you don’t have enough sense to serve dressing you just don’t have enough sense. Plus you have suggested that these folks would willingly waste good food and that ain’t never gonna happen.

Merry Christmas anyway


6 posted on 12/25/2013 12:39:05 PM PST by Nifster
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To: Rebelbase
Well, at least the folks she's defending know how much poo they are going to have to go through to be gratified...

Three point five billion v*****s in the world, and he had to pick that one....

God bless 'em every one.

7 posted on 12/25/2013 12:40:33 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: Rebelbase

It just have looked something like this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF1dfXDsV4s


8 posted on 12/25/2013 12:42:32 PM PST by HerrBlucher (Praise to the Lord the Almighty the King of Creation)
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To: Nifster

Yeehaw yummy. Sweet tea is common, maybe that’s what is intended. And many folks would call a Pepsi a Coke.


9 posted on 12/25/2013 12:42:36 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (The Lion of Judah will roar again if you give him a big hug and a cheer and mean it. See my page.)
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To: Nifster

You obviously haven’t eaten a holiday meal in rural NC where it’s a several hour ordeal that you have to repeat 4 hours later at supper.


10 posted on 12/25/2013 12:42:46 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Nifster

Oh, and I left off the Fried Okra, squash and oysters.


11 posted on 12/25/2013 12:43:24 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase

>> chow-chow <<

I’ll stand up proudly for a family that has no qualms about serving dog at a Christmas meal.

Fun read, thanks for posting, and Merry Christmas.


12 posted on 12/25/2013 12:43:42 PM PST by Nonsense Unlimited
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To: Rebelbase

Hand each one at the dinner a gun and a case of ammo so that they may put each other out of their pathetic lives’ miseries.


13 posted on 12/25/2013 12:44:06 PM PST by James C. Bennett (An Australian.)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

Exactly. Anyone from the rural south calls it tea. Outsiders call it sweet tea.


14 posted on 12/25/2013 12:44:37 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase
She thinks mighty of herself and has one of those hyphenated last names", according to Betty-Sue Watson...

Says Betty-Sue Watson with a hyphenated first name.

15 posted on 12/25/2013 12:47:13 PM PST by bubbacluck (America 180)
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To: liege

That there some good writing!


16 posted on 12/25/2013 12:48:40 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase
I said it again and she still wouldn't look at me. That's when I flicked a piece of biscuit at her to get her attention and all hell broke loose".

This is how a war starts.


17 posted on 12/25/2013 12:59:47 PM PST by canuck_conservative
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To: Rebelbase
Bobby's wife took offense and called us homophones.

Oh, the pain! (or is it pane?)

18 posted on 12/25/2013 1:00:02 PM PST by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: Rebelbase

I don’t know those people, no, not at all.


19 posted on 12/25/2013 1:01:22 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Our infinite sadness can only be cured by an infinite love." ~Pope Francis)
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To: Rebelbase

Truthfully, southern ladies are pretty expert at taking control of a situation when a woman among them gets “hysterical”. They would never allow such embarrassing conduct to appear before the menfolk.

And, truth be told, no one is going to use the expression “Yankee” at the table, as that is the “n” word in large swaths of the South.


20 posted on 12/25/2013 1:09:52 PM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Last Obamacare Promise: "If You Like Your Eternal Soul, You Can Keep It.")
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