You’re a mom, not a cleaning lady.
Posted on 05/09/2014 6:04:35 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said," I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you, both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible, and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000.00 a year for 10 years, but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote the first son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Marvin," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Melvin," she wrote to her third son, "You were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. That chicken was delicious."
You’re a mom, not a cleaning lady.
Oh, hell no.
Is this a gift for you? Or your partner?
Basically sex, but you’re expected to dress up for it, too. Swell.
1. Joke gifts are not cool on Mother’s Day, 2. This had better be a joke gift if your significant other wants to live.
Explaining to your neighbor why half of their flower bed has been torn up isn’t exactly how you want to spend Mother’s Day.
If you asked for these specifically this is an awesome gift. If not, WTF?
Really? Not even a card? You can really feel the love.
Homemade gifts are the best, that is, unless your kid took scissors to the living room drapes to acquire “materials.”
Your family appreciates you so much that they got you 10% of your next visit to Chili’s.
This is adorable until you realize you’ll be dining on fuzzy, severely burned toast and scrambled eggs mixed with M&Ms.
AKA how your significant other gets you to cook them a steak every month.
The stock image photo of a family that comes with the frame may be cute, but you’d much prefer one of your own family.
They say it’s the thought that counts, which is true, except for when the thought was to spend $3.99 or less.
What every mom wants to hear, “You’re a great mom! And fat!”
This one will go over about as well as the Weight Watchers gift certificate.
“Hey, Mom, mind if I play with your gift a little while?”
These are even worse when your significant other gives the same thing to their mother.
“The kids and I have to, uh, just run out for a sec, hon!” FAIL.
Not even close....the thread’s on fire this morning.
My first Mother’s Day my husband gave me a frying pan.
We’re divorced.
Top 30
gotta work this weekend....sighs
When my ex and I separated, we argued over who had to take the iron and ironing board.
This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?"
The man replied, "I have a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts looking good, I head home!
LOL. I got that in an email this week.
What donuts?
Doughnuts???
Ha ha. Me too. Cute mouse :)
Huh? There are donuts in that picture?
Yeah, but it took me a while to find the mouse. That email came from my cousin who has big boobs. She likes to show them off too, with low cut blouses and shirts.
Top...something!
After you get married the husband expects the wife (me) to buy his mother a Mother’s Day gift. What up wit dat?
“Yeah, but it took me a while to find the mouse. That email came from my cousin who has big boobs. She likes to show them off too, with low cut blouses and shirts.”
This post is worthless without pictures. :)
Yay! Top 1,525!!
Hubby and I have very little we disagree about. One thing is Mother's Day. He thinks because I'm not HIS mother, he shouldn't have to do anything for me. I think Mother's Day is about acknowledging all the mothers in your life whether they're your mom or not. I celebrate my daughter as a mom on Mother's Day. Mind you, I'm not asking for gifts, just an acknowledgement, maybe a card.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.