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Cuckolded Husband Sells Wife's Wedding Dress
I Can Has Cheezburger? ^ | 6/13/14

Posted on 06/14/2014 5:32:03 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows

Here's what the husband wrote for the ad:

Due to be married soon? Not planning on staying faithful? Want to sleep with one of your soon-to-be husband's closest friends? Then THIS is the wedding dress for you!

This stunning, tuille swathed, ivory bridal gown has a proven track record of producing an adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing and traitorous "soulmate".

A one of a kind garment designed by Benedict Arnold, believed to be derived from the very cloth Judas Iscariot himself wore to the Garden of Gethsemane to betray the only son of God – Jesus Christ.

This harlot-sized ensemble will make you the envy of your trampish posse on your fraudulent wedding day.

As an added bonus, this dress gives you the "entitlement" to legally obtain over half of your husband-to-be's worldly possessions.

This dress is guaranteed to provide you with approximately two years of reasonable wedded mediocrity before the complete and utter disintegration of your relationship due to your extramarital promiscuity.

Cosmetically, the garment is in better condition than the marriage – not looking for much. Make an offer.


TOPICS: Humor; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: napl
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To: Tax-chick

I’m told I look great in red.
I hate red.


41 posted on 06/14/2014 6:33:24 PM PDT by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Freedom_Is_Not_Free; Lazamataz

How do you know Laz didn’t caused this?>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Laz was there in OZ?


42 posted on 06/14/2014 6:33:49 PM PDT by Candor7 (Obama fascism article:(http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/05/barack_obama_the_quintessentia_1.html))
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To: MaxMax

I dunno - a prize like that gets snapped up pretty quickly.


43 posted on 06/14/2014 6:35:36 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

He was. Not that I blame him.


44 posted on 06/14/2014 6:42:14 PM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Slings and Arrows

Cuckolded husband is a term you don’t hear bandied about often. That is a funny sounding word.


45 posted on 06/14/2014 6:45:55 PM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: RichInOC

Nor I.


46 posted on 06/14/2014 6:46:22 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: JRandomFreeper

Over here!


47 posted on 06/14/2014 6:47:02 PM PDT by Clay Moore (I Like My Guns Like Obama Likes His Voters: Undocumented)
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To: Clay Moore
That's one problem I never had (or knew about at any rate). All of mine got the boot for some other reason. But they did get the boot.

/johnny

48 posted on 06/14/2014 6:50:02 PM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Um... does it bother anyone else that the word Cuckolded is not being used properly in the context of the story?


49 posted on 06/14/2014 7:14:19 PM PDT by Rodamala
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To: Tax-chick
My wedding dress was blue. I look dead in white, especially in February. I got a lot of compliments.

Why is it we must always ask for pictures?

50 posted on 06/14/2014 7:15:32 PM PDT by verga (Conservative, leaning libertatian)
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To: verga

Sorry, I’d have to drag out prints and scan them. It was 1989, big sleeves.


51 posted on 06/14/2014 7:33:18 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Darksheare

You’d probably look stuning, but one must have one’s personal style.


52 posted on 06/14/2014 7:33:50 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Rodamala

“Cuckolded” means his wife was unfaithful. Is that not what happened?


53 posted on 06/14/2014 7:42:28 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: elcid1970

An honest look in the mirror (ask your about-to-be mother-in-law, if that doesn’t work) would probably prompt many brides to cover up.


54 posted on 06/14/2014 7:44:12 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Tax-chick

I dislike the color red intensely.
I prefer blue, grey, black, tan, green, earth tones etc over red.
Next up on my hate list, pinks, purple, orange, neon colors, and most pastel colors, in that order.
I just don’t have a skin tone that is complimentary to most clothing colors.


55 posted on 06/14/2014 7:44:27 PM PDT by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Darksheare

I couldn’t say without taking you shopping, so just go with what you like. I don’t see you disliking blue; that usually goes with green. Blue, green, gray ... you’ve got a lot of choices.

But if I saw you in real life, I might thing you look smashing in red!


56 posted on 06/14/2014 7:47:34 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Tax-chick

Just basing it on the writeup:

“This stunning, tuille swathed, ivory bridal gown ...”


57 posted on 06/14/2014 8:04:44 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: Rodamala
does it bother anyone else that the word Cuckolded is not being used properly in the context of the story?

I don't think that cuckold means what you seem to think it means, whatever that may be.

58 posted on 06/14/2014 8:07:58 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: PAR35

The first time I saw the word... I think it was Chaucer or some such... early English literature... and it seemed that the definition at that time was any relationship where the husband is much older than the wife... not just one where the wife is an adulteress.


59 posted on 06/14/2014 8:12:08 PM PDT by Rodamala
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To: Rodamala

Nope, it means that the wife has a boyfriend with privileges. They tried to gloss over the interesting parts of Chaucer in high school English - letting folks giggle about the kiss at the window in the Miller’s Tale, but not going much beyond that. You might give it a fresh read.


60 posted on 06/14/2014 8:17:19 PM PDT by PAR35
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