Posted on 05/12/2021 6:58:52 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press conference today, Press Secretary Jen Psaki reminded Americans that they must turn in their permission slips for eating a delicious grilled July 4th hot dog by this Friday.
"We know you people enjoy your hot dogs, but it is the top priority of this administration that you enjoy this food safely," said Psaki cheerfully. "With the COVID risks involved in gathering around the grill and the choking risks of eating processed meat, we ask that you please get a slip signed by your mommy, daddy, or local magistrate before partaking."
Those who fail to turn in their hot dog slips will be allowed to apply for a 1-week extension after paying a small fine. Any citizens caught consuming hotdogs on Independence Day without approval will be detained by authorities until the fireworks are over and there's only cold potato salad left.
Dr. Fauci later clarified that even though permission slips are being issued, eating hotdogs is "probably a bad idea" and you shouldn't do it.
I’m afraid I can’t get a permissions slip because both my parents are dead, and doctors . . . well, you know doctors!
DANG!
Thank goodness I can still eat all the grilled kielbasa I want.
I don’t have a grill so my hot dog loophole will be to microwave my dogs.
HAM-burgers will not be served out of respect for our Muslim friends.
Suppose I’d be totally out of line to ask for two hot dogs... with chili and cheese.
Comrade - you are only entitled to one Hot Dog with chili or cheese - and only until everyone else has their fair share.
You know we are in deep kimchi when a ridiculous article such as this has to be scrutinized to make sure it is satire.
The way these arsewipes operate, such an edict would not be all that surprising....
“I’m afraid I can’t get a permissions slip because both my parents are dead,”
Oh give me a break! If they can still vote then surely they can give you a permission slip.
Comrade - you are only entitled to one Hot Dog with chili or cheese - and only until everyone else has their fair share.
In Biden’s America you shall be allocated one tofu-based hot dog every Tuesday. And one bun per month. Enjoy your prosperity, Citizen.
Notice there are no restrictions on Tofu Dogs.
Fauci is a hot dog.
PragerU
Seth Dillon is the CEO of The Babylon Bee, where they write satire for a living. You’d think that would be easy in today’s absurd world, but in reality, it’s just the opposite. Seth explains why this endangers the very concept of free speech and the open exchange of ideas.
And to whom are they to be delivered to?
Mine too, but I think I can still {cough!} forge their signatures.
Hotdogs for me!
Not everyone will be approved. The White House will hold a “hot dog lottery” so that 25 lucky winners will be allowed to eat a hot dog (if they can afford it).
The celebrations will be big this year in conservative states.
“You people”
“Hotdogs”
These people’s are sick.
Good one.
Thanks for that.
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