Posted on 08/25/2021 7:50:50 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C.—“It’s 9 a.m., and President Biden is perfectly alive and breathing,” read yet another press release from the White House. Most people find it reassuring to know the president isn’t dead. Yet the hourly, completely unprompted assurances that Biden has not died are starting to have the opposite effect on people.
“I don’t usually spend a lot of time worrying that the president is dead,” said Washington D.C. citizen Tony Underwood, “but the constant statements from the White House have got me on edge.” Underwood pointed particularly to a recent one that said, “Biden is alive, but we can’t take a picture because he is sleeping and we don’t want to disturb him but it is a normal sleep and not a coma so he should wake normally.”
And now, at least half the content from Biden’s official Twitter account is on the topic of his being alive. “It is I, Joe Biden. I am alive,” read a recent tweet. “And it’s really me writing this and not my staff. Malarkey. Come on, man. Those are things I say.”
When asked why all the sudden assurances that Biden is alive, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said, “Everyone just loves having a president who is very much alive — such as Joe Biden. Why, I was just saying to Vice President Kamala Harris the other day, ‘You’re still the vice president because Biden is alive.’ And when she asked to see him, I said, ‘You can’t, because he’s sleeping.’” Psaki seemed to tear up a bit. “‘Sleeping for a very long time.’”
And when reporters inquired if they would soon be able to ask Biden questions, Psaki said no, but not because Biden is dead but because he’s “evasive.”
“Evasive,” Psaki repeated, “just like a normal, alive politician.”
He’s alive!
DANG!
Took me a few seconds to notice its the bee. Nothing would surprise me from the current regime other than competence or loyalty to the American people.
but brain dead
you assured me that his total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk
BB got me. Hope against hope, horrible thing for me to say.
We need a SloJo live cam on him 24/7 so we can see if he is breathing or not...
When his afternoon press conference yesterday was delayed several hours, and Kamilla was delaying her trip in the far east, I assumed that Joe had either passed or was brain-dead.
HUNTER BIDEN ARRESTED & EXECUTED
I've previously posted a link that strongly says Hunter signed a plea deal on 1/20/21. Connecting dots, I surmise that Hunter broke his end of the deal, and is now dead.
Weekend at Biden’s.
Biden has been brain dead for a number of years...
the motor is running but no one is behind the wheel.
He sure looked bad yesterday at that speech.
Psaki: “All successful politicians throughout history behave like this.” /s
The Bee strikes again! Excellent subject matter!
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this potus what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Biden...What’s,uh...What’s wrong with it?
C: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
O: No, no, ‘e’s uh,..he’s resting.
C: Look, my lad, I know a dead potus when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
O: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable pol , the Norwegian Biden, idn’it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! ‘E’s resting!
C: All right then, if he’s restin’, I’ll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
‘Ello, potus Biden! I’ve got a lovely pudding cup for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn’t, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) ‘ELLO JOEY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock alarm call!
(Takes potus out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.
C: Now that’s what I call a dead potus.
O: No, no.....No, ‘e’s stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin’ up! Norwegian Bidens stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That potus is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not ‘alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he’s...he’s, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ for the FJORDS!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got ‘im home?
O: The Norwegian Biden prefers kippin’ on it’s back! Remarkable pol, id’nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that pol when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that pol down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ‘em apart with its leg hairs, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this pol wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!
O: No no! ‘E’s pining!
C: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This potus is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker!
‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies!
‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig!
‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-POTUS!!
Perfect! I was about to add a “pining for the fjords” comment, when I saw you’d done a much more thorough job. Kudos!
The fjords, he pines for them.
White House of the Living Dead.
Hey man,
I will not be on as much anymore so, though I have enjoyed them thoroughly over a long span of time, I must ask to be taken off the ping list :(
This way I can just check to see any personal responses and get on and off fast.
Thank you for years of interesting articles and comments.
Once I am back on a regular basis I will come crawling back to be added again :)
He’s pining for the fjords ...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.