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Fauci Dons Funny Hat, Declares Himself To Be Pope Of Science
The Babylon Bee ^ | November 29, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/30/2021 10:13:07 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a stunning reveal, Dr. Fauci has appeared on camera in an ornate and funny hat, and is now declaring himself the "Pope of Science."

"Look at my shiny hat! Woooo-ooo! I have been chosen by science to speak on behalf of science!" said Pope Fauci. "My very words are as infallible as the natural laws of the universe itself! If anyone doesn't like me, or disagrees with anything I say, or makes fun of my glasses, they will be excommunicated—banished to everlasting darkness."

Fauci's eyes then rolled back in his head as he began uttering in a dead ancient Sumerian language.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Science; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: anthonyfauci; covidstooges; ego; gretathunberg; obamacare; pfizer; pope; sacrament; satire; science; vaccine; vaccinemandates; xijinping
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1 posted on 11/30/2021 10:13:07 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

:)


2 posted on 11/30/2021 10:14:06 AM PST by mylife (Joe Biden is like bald tires in the rain, Alec Baldwin with a gun....)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Dr Fubar has a lot in common with the fake pope 🤪


3 posted on 11/30/2021 10:14:56 AM PST by NWFree (Somebody has to say it)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Hey! That’s offensive to those who wear pink yarmulkas AND post-hole digger hats!


4 posted on 11/30/2021 10:15:58 AM PST by Phinneous (By the way, there are Seven Laws for you too! Noahide.org)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“I am the very model of a modern Major General!”


5 posted on 11/30/2021 10:16:54 AM PST by lee martell
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

the ritual continues


6 posted on 11/30/2021 10:18:42 AM PST by mylife (Joe Biden is like bald tires in the rain, Alec Baldwin with a gun....)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Still laughing out loud. The Bee is the best!


7 posted on 11/30/2021 10:19:05 AM PST by jimfree (My 19 y/o granddaughter continues to have more quality exec experience than Joe Biden.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I'll take a break from re-posting this, but for now....

SCIENCE ISN'T MATH.

It never was.

And it sure isn't now.

Remember how science said ulcers were induced chiefly by stress or spicy food? It turns out, they are induced chiefly by bacteria. Whoops.

The history of science is littered with "no wait....that's wrong...THIS is right..." going through the rinse and repeat cycle endlessly.

And that's ok. Inquiry and challenge and "being a science heretic" is, in many ways, how mankind learns more and can fix more problems.

But science isn't math. Your checking account balance is the sum of deposits less sum of withdrawals. Always. Forever.

The problem arises when people try to equate science with math...usually they call it "settled science." And, to be sure, robust inquiry and disciplined application of the scientific method usually gives you clear and distinct results. Then, science is settled...until we get new data or better techniques, and then we get "wait a minute..".

For example, there was a most excellent article posted on how "settled science" wasn't so settled, wherein:

seems that Earth has been misplaced. According to a new map of the Milky Way galaxy, the Solar System's position isn't where we thought it was. Not only is it closer to the galactic centre - and the supermassive hole therein, Sagittarius A* - it's orbiting at a faster clip.

It further noted other "errors" in SCIENCE:

A good recent example of this is the red giant star Betelgeuse, which turned out to be closer to Earth than previous measurements suggested. This means that it's neither as large nor as bright as we thought. Another is the object CK Vulpeculae, a star that exploded 350 years ago. It's actually much farther away, which means that the explosion was brighter and more energetic, and requires a new explanation, since previous analyses were performed under the assumption it was relatively low energy

The other problem arises when Certain Powers work overtime to suppress assiduous inquiry. Which, is what we have today as well. It's a bad double whammy.

In the interest of full disclosure, my "science isn't math" quote came from a recent post on social sciences, that featured this brilliant give and take involving a Harvard faculty member critical of Charles Murray from the original article, that is worth reprinting - it is with regard to the "certainty of SCIENCE":

"so why should we let someone teach social science that we know to be wrong in our social science courses?"

Because it is possible that you are wrong.
Science is not mathematics. Newtonian physics was wrong. And social science is a further three rungs down in certainty from science.

Your level of certainty and arrogance about what can be said, and probably thought, smacks of religion, and not science. This is a political religion that permeates academia at the moment. And which I am fairly sure you will swear does not infect you, while the rest of us can see the symptoms quite plainly.

Only religions ban heretics from speaking because of the wrong-think they might cause. Real science loves a good heretic. In fact, honestly, the entire goal of science is to be a heretic. To have an idea that no other person ever had. Science is the pretty much the antithesis of your thought-police approach.

And most of academia used to be the antithesis of your thought police approach as well, until the religion of leftism took it over, with the direct help of people like you.

Please note, I've been informed that "Newtonian physics wasn’t wrong, but it was incomplete." But you get the point.

8 posted on 11/30/2021 10:20:08 AM PST by DoodleBob (Gravity's waiting period is about 9.8 m/s^2 )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

He’s cracking.


9 posted on 11/30/2021 10:23:26 AM PST by 1Old Pro (Let's make crime illegal again!)
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To: lee martell

10 posted on 11/30/2021 10:24:17 AM PST by bagster ("Even bad men love their mamas".)
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To: NWFree

11 posted on 11/30/2021 10:28:48 AM PST by Dr. Sivana ("There are only men and women."-- George Gilder, Sexual Suicide, 1973)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Funny. Makes me think of Louis XIV saying “L’etat, c’est moi”, The state, I am it!


12 posted on 11/30/2021 10:31:14 AM PST by Migraine
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To: DoodleBob

Pluto is a planet.


13 posted on 11/30/2021 10:32:09 AM PST by Fledermaus (I'll wear a mask when Dr. Fraudchi shuts the hell up.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
There are over one million practicing physicians in the United States and even more physian assistants...who are actually caring for Covid patients and those with every other disease on earth.

Fauci is just a statistician at this point....not even an expert on Covid...except for what he's being fed.

He is not the voice of science.

Ask the Pope who said the sun revolves around the earth how that works.

14 posted on 11/30/2021 10:33:36 AM PST by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: DoodleBob
Remember how science said ulcers were induced chiefly by stress or spicy food?

You heard science say something? That's great, because as a practicing scientist I have never heard science say a word. I have heard a lot of scientists say a lot of things, but most of them can't get there three or four personal opinions to agree much less agree with anyone else.

It is a huge mistake to personify "science" which is merely a sort of accepted set of ways to approach natural philosophy. Whenever you hear a statement about something scientific it is said not by science, but by a scientist who is a living breathing fallible, sinning, human being. Or worse it is said by someone ignorant of science just making stuff up that he/she/zir doesn't understand.

15 posted on 11/30/2021 10:33:57 AM PST by AndyJackson
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To: Sacajaweau
Fauci is just a statistician at this point.

He is certainly not a statistician. He is just a feral gubmint bureaucrat.

16 posted on 11/30/2021 10:34:59 AM PST by AndyJackson
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

He invented the internet, right????


17 posted on 11/30/2021 10:39:12 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn...)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Fraudci

Falsci

Faustci


18 posted on 11/30/2021 10:53:58 AM PST by karnage
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

19 posted on 11/30/2021 11:01:41 AM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: DoodleBob

“Listen to the science” is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard a self-proclaimed science believer say. As though science has some sort of infallible voice of prophesy. It is a method, and its first assumptions are often if not most of the time wrong. But it is perseverant, so it can afford to be.


20 posted on 11/30/2021 11:08:23 AM PST by Telepathic Intruder
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