Posted on 01/26/2022 4:48:21 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
REDDING, CA—Local man Terry Cleanmanson wore a surgical mask to Walmart yesterday, not because he was afraid of a deadly pandemic but because he was going to Walmart.
"Something happens to the people that go there; they lose any concept of personal space...everyone's a walking biohazard. And don't get me started on cross-contamination. I once saw a gallon of milk sitting between two throw pillows—in the garden section!" wrote Cleanmanson for a Walmart Customer Experience Survey.
"Walmart is a nightmare machine," he continued. "I don't know why anyone's frightened of the 'Rona when these bio-hazard zones are in every city."
"I mask up every time."
Cleanmanson's sentiments are not unique. Millions of patrons have horror stories to share about visits to the popular retailer. But, like presidential elections, they don't think they have much choice.
"These are stories that often end in sickness, depression, and death," says Walmart historian Drajök Namberlandy. "But you can't expect people to, for instance, go to a grocery store and a clothing store. That's two separate trips!"
Walmart remains one of the most popular retailers worldwide despite how much everyone hates it. Target, the chain's closest competitor, has tried unsuccessfully to brand itself as a clean alternative, but their slightly higher prices which offset the cost of a sterile environment have put customers off.
At publishing time, Terry Cleanmanson was hospitalized for prolonged Walmart exposure.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
“...everyone’s a walking biohazard...”
He isn’t too far from wrong.
He should be wearing sunglasses to prevent exposure to some of the denizens.
Hey! I’m a Walmart Shopper! I alternate between Walmart and Piggly Wiggly. (Shop The Pig!)
Sometimes your choices for gathering foodstuffs in the Boondocks ARE limited, ya know!
Beau likes to stop in there at 2am when he’s finishing up raccoon hunting to buy treats for his hunting dogs, or a bag of kibble if we’re running low. He’ll be in camo and probably a little bit bloody around the edges.
So, forget what I said. Satire IS rooted in TRUTH. ;)
P.S. I am ALWAYS fully clothed on my Walmart forays and I am clean, neat and thrifty!
I’ve gone to several Walmarts in the past few weeks. Masks are available at the door but most do not wear them.
I just moved to Pensacola, Florida, and I use Wal-Mart and a cost-plus-10-percent grocery store for most of my shopping. It saves me money, but I hope to start frequenting some smaller businesses as I get settled in. They’re the ones who deserve our patronage, not the big wokecorps.
Yep. That’s why I also ‘Shop The Pig!’ My Grandpa was a butcher for Piggly Wiggly after he retired, but still wanted to be out and about a few days a week.
There is a wal mart in Kimball, Tennessee near one of our plants that I am convinced most of the original photos from PeopleOfWalmart came from. Even 20 years ago it was best to wear a mask there
Next time you are in a Walmart look around. The air you are breathing was inside that guy’s lungs a minute ago.
I don’t disagree. Besides nobody recognizes me and there are some days I don’t feel like no jibberbabber, I have business to attend to.
“Walmart Waltz”
I’m in
I’m Out!
.
Screw the Greeter!
HA! I do that. The place is a petri dish. 😆
Did he enjoy visiting the Piggly Wiggly after retirement? Sort of a "busman's holiday"?
LOL!
He became a butcher (already had the skills) AFTER he retired from being a Machinist. I think he just wanted to get away from Grandma, LOL!
A few months ago some Walmart woodchucks were pushing their pitbull puppy around in a shopping cart when the little creature started to take a dump in it.
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