Posted on 12/02/2022 3:15:50 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
CHICAGO (CBS) – A man is charged after claiming to have a bomb in his bag at O'Hare Airport Friday, according to CPD director of communications Tom Ahern.
Gilberto Killingbeck, 72, of Boynton Beach, Florida was arrested in Terminal 1 of the airport after jokingly telling TSA that there was a bomb in his bag.
The Chicago Police Bomb and Arson detectives investigated and found no explosives in his bag.
Killingbeck has been charged with one misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct for the incident.
That’s pretty stupid. Unless you’re homeless and looking for three hots and a cot for the winter.
That’s like a dozen Florida Man stories today.
Stupid is as stupid does.
If you see your friend Jack on the opposite side of the terminal, be very careful how you yell “Hi” to him.
Going to jail in a Dem city is probably not too bad, cheaper than a motel, and the real criminals are turned loose back to the streets. About all you’d see are jaywalkers, parking violators, and people who kept a book too long from the library.
When CWII finally comes, Florida Man will be a powerful asset for the red states. Just turn him loose in one of the blue states and let him do his thing. If nothing else, he’ll create a heck of a diversion.
He’s gonna have a blast in jail.
Reminds me of a story regarding Groucho Marx:
In 1931, Groucho gave up his Great Neck home to bring his long-suffering first wife, Ruth, and their two children, twelve-year-old Arthur and his little sister, Miriam, to Hollywood in order to join Groucho’s brothers there. Before that, however, he took the family on a trip to Europe, along with his brothers, of course—they seemed never to go anywhere without each other. Arriving back in New York, Groucho became exasperated with the official process of reentering the country through customs. He filled out the declaration of purchases form without, one might say, breaking character:
Name: Julius H. Marx
Address: 21 Lincoln Rd., Great Neck, Long Island
Born: Yes
Hair: Not much
Eyes: All the better to see you with
Occupation: Smuggler
List of Items Purchased Out of the United States, Where Bought, and the Purchase Price: Wouldn’t you like to know?
After filling out the form, Groucho turned to his wife, Ruth, in front of the customs officials, and asked her whether she was still carrying the opium. The customs agents grabbed Groucho, Ruth, and their two small children. They took the family into a room, made them all strip naked, and examined them for hidden goods. Then they had the family wait, presumably clothed once again, for hours while the officials meticulously searched their luggage.
https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/arts-letters/articles/groucho-marx-pacino
Somebody else must be posting some, because this is only my third one. I have one more, and it’s a doozy, but it’s prurient enough to get the story (and maybe me) kicked off of FR, so I will just put that one on social media.
Can you private reply it to me?
First Amendment rules!
SPJNK.
They just misunderstood.
He said he had a BONG in his bag....
and he did.
Recently used.
He likely has a permanent entry on the No Fly List to dog him for the rest of his life. Many jobs have a preemployment background check before an offer is committable. This terroristic threat, misdemeanor or not, will show up and probably end up shutting him out of most jobs. Unless the Florida Man has a trust fund or owns the company, his future career may consist of a carwash or lawnmower driver.
My opinions…
I think the article said he was 72. Not sure if he can redirect his SS deposits to the prison commissary, though.
Can’t fix stupid
Florida is well on it's way to becoming the most populous state in the nation. Then it will eventually become the most populous place in the world. That is to say, eventually over 10 billion people will live there, due to the warm climate, the beaches and the air conditioning. Even more than China and all the rest of the countries combined. Even the alligators and mosquitoes will get crowded out.
That's another way of saying that there will be many more Florida man stories in the years ahead.
Billions and billions of Florida Man stories.
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