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Childrens Books which never got published.
School Handout | 05/18/2004 | anonymous 9th gr. Eng. school teacher

Posted on 05/19/2004 3:25:49 AM PDT by pageonetoo

Childrens Books Which Never Got Published

Here’s a list of children’s book titles which for some reason or another that didn’t make it to your local book shop.

1. You Are Different and That’s Bad.

2. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables

3. Dad’s new wife Robert

4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share

5. Hammers, Screwdrivers, and Scissors: An I-Can-Do Book

6. The Kid’s Guide to Hitchhiking

. Katy Was So Bad Her Mummy Stopped Loving Her

8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

9. All Cats Go To Hell

10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

11. Some Kittens Can Fly

12. That’s It, I’m Putting You Up For Adoption

13. Grandpa Gets a Casket

14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

16. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy

17. Strangers Have the Best Candy

18. Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way

19. You Were an Accident

20. This Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

21. Pop! Goes the Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games

22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan

23. Your Nightmares Are Real

24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Mrs Electrical Outlet be Friends?

27. Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Given to my daughter’s class by her 9th Grade English School teacher.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: emailjokes; humor
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To: LexBaird

Smokey Says...Only You Can Keep the Man from Finding my Weed Farm


Give a Hoot...Snort a Toot


61 posted on 05/19/2004 11:56:28 AM PDT by Petronski (They could choose between shame and war: Some chose shame, but got war anyway.)
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To: pageonetoo

bump


62 posted on 05/23/2004 4:07:20 PM PDT by ThePythonicCow (I was humble, before I was born. -- J Frondeur Kerry)
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To: pageonetoo

"Where Are Daddy's Pants?" by Victoria Reggie


63 posted on 05/23/2004 4:16:50 PM PDT by RichInOC ("Well, Ah do declare! It looks as if the Senator has changed his position on offshore drillin'.")
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To: pageonetoo

"Daddy Got His Shotgun" by Courtney Love


64 posted on 05/23/2004 4:19:56 PM PDT by RichInOC (Kurt Cobain killed himself after finally listening to Hole sober.)
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To: pageonetoo

"Saturday Night At The Movies" by Paul Reubens


65 posted on 05/23/2004 4:20:34 PM PDT by RichInOC (Kurt Cobain killed himself after finally listening to Hole sober.)
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To: pageonetoo

That little-known movie tie-in...

"If You Give Dr. Lecter A Kidney..." by Thomas Harris.


66 posted on 05/23/2004 4:24:11 PM PDT by RichInOC ("...I do wish we could chat longer...but I'm having an old friend for dinner...'Bye!")
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To: pageonetoo

"So You Want To Be An Intern..." by former President Bill Clinton


67 posted on 05/23/2004 4:32:34 PM PDT by RichInOC (How can we ignore the Clintons if they won't go away?)
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To: moodyskeptic

You're going to die someday, and there's nothing you can do to stop it

10 fun games to play on a busy street

Mommy's trying to kill me!

Wetting your bed and another things you should tell your classmates that you did



68 posted on 05/23/2004 4:51:45 PM PDT by Sofa King (MY rights are not subject to YOUR approval http://www.angelfire.com/art2/sofaking/index.html)
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To: Sofa King

The Big Hand Touches the Little Hand, by Michael Jackson

The Day Jimmy Discovered Dynamite

I Fed My Sibling to a Zoo Animal

My Friend Satan

Why Do Mommy and Daddy Make Funny Noises In the Bedroom?


69 posted on 05/23/2004 5:03:47 PM PDT by Galactic Overlord-In-Chief (Kerry, you have low poll numbers but I have good news. I just saved hundreds by switching to Geico.)
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To: pageonetoo

Plagiarized from elsewhere on the web, I forget where:

* Horton Hires a Ho
* Who Shat in the Hat?
* Mr. Brown's Colon Can Moo (Can You?)


70 posted on 05/23/2004 5:11:59 PM PDT by Oberon (What does it take to make government shrink?)
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To: KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle
"Hello, Satan? It's Me, Margaret"

My ex wrote a childrens book???

71 posted on 05/23/2004 5:15:52 PM PDT by null and void (The owls are not what they seem...)
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To: pageonetoo
"A Child's Guide to Slaughter Houses"
"101 Ways to Pick Your Nose"
"Susie's Fat and Ugly"
"Why It's OK to Hate"
"Grandpa Went to Hell"
72 posted on 05/23/2004 5:44:49 PM PDT by FourPeas (Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. ~B.F. Skinner)
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To: Galactic Overlord-In-Chief

"I Fed My Sibling to a Zoo Animal"

LOL!


73 posted on 05/23/2004 6:32:16 PM PDT by Sofa King (MY rights are not subject to YOUR approval http://www.angelfire.com/art2/sofaking/index.html)
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