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Why God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat
Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts To Explain The Entire U. S. Government | 1991 | P. J. O'Rourke

Posted on 12/08/2001 1:22:36 PM PST by EveningStar

I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Miscellaneous; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: christmas; democrats; godisarepublican; humor; orourke; pjorourke; republicans; santaclaus; satire
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To: EveningStar
Oops. Sorry. I screwed up the Swiss link. Here it is, corrected:

Swiss

21 posted on 12/09/2001 8:32:30 AM PST by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar
He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged.

Must be an Old Testament God. Jesus Christ showed great concern for the poor.

22 posted on 12/08/2003 4:20:24 PM PST by Looking for Diogenes
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To: Looking for Diogenes
How's your search going? :)
23 posted on 12/08/2003 4:45:13 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar
"and he's famously generous to the poor"

PJ has Santa Claus mixed up with Robin Hood, I think. Santa Claus gives way more stuff to rich kids than he does to poor ones.

'Come to think of it, maybe I'm wrong, the Democrats don't give stuff to poor kids either, they give it to rich bureaucracies, the ultimate rich entity.

24 posted on 12/08/2003 4:51:06 PM PST by Sam Cree (democrats are herd animals)
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To: All

Bumping an oldie but timeless goodie. :)


25 posted on 07/02/2008 9:11:00 AM PDT by Matchett-PI ("It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." - Voltaire)
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To: FBD

bookmark


26 posted on 12/14/2011 8:41:34 PM PST by FBD (My carbon footprint is bigger than yours)
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To: FBD

bookmark


27 posted on 12/14/2011 8:41:51 PM PST by FBD (My carbon footprint is bigger than yours)
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bttt


28 posted on 12/24/2012 11:23:36 AM PST by Matchett-PI (Obama's Shuck and Jive Ends With Benghazi Lies ~ Sarah Palin)
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bttt


29 posted on 12/24/2012 11:24:50 AM PST by Matchett-PI (Obama's Shuck and Jive Ends With Benghazi Lies ~ Sarah Palin)
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To: EveningStar
There's nothing new under the sun.

Merry Christmas!

30 posted on 12/24/2014 6:30:21 AM PST by Disambiguator
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To: Disambiguator

Thanks! :)


31 posted on 12/24/2014 11:09:34 AM PST by EveningStar
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2018 bump


32 posted on 12/25/2018 9:21:49 AM PST by EveningStar (I am a Non-Cultist Trump Supporter.)
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