USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Humor Day ~ February 13 2003

Airman Jones comes straight to his commanding officer.
He complains that his Sergeant is totally nuts and out to get him.
Jones adds, "I wouldn't be surprised if Sergeant asked me to jump into a lake."
The commanding officer says "I don't think that's right, but if it ever happens, report to me directly."
Noting the thrilled expression on the airman's face, he adds...
"But you jolly well be wet when you report to me."

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.
The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.
The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.
He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed.
In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules - make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way."

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup
when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"
"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they hatch."
"That was a fine story Lucy." "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm; her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun; a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break; then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke; then she killed the last ten with her bare hands. "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher,
"What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't screw with Aunt Karen when she's been drinking!"

Dear China,

We're sorry you don't train your fighter pilots better. As a token of our apology,
here's a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000.
We're also sorry your front-line fighter planes can't outmaneuver a 35-year old prop-driven airliner.
Perhaps you'd like to purchase some surplus 1950's-era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan...
since they just replaced all theirs with new F-16's.
We're also sorry you believe your territorial waters extend all the way to Australia. For future reference, here's an American 6th grade geography textbook. (Please note the Copyright information printed inside the cover.)
In addition, we're sorry you can't seem to see your part of this incident. We know it seems easier to blame others than to take responsibility. Consider this while we build several new Aegis destroyers for our friends in Taiwan.
Finally, we're sorry we granted you Most-Favored-Nation trading status. This will be rectified at the soonest possible opportunity. Along those lines, we're especially sorry we treated you with such respect for the last 20 years. We'll definitely rethink this policy, and will probably go back to treating you like a street gang very soon.

Sincerely,

The People of the United States of America

On This Day In History

Birthdates which occurred on February 13:
1440 Hartmann Schedel German physician/humanist/historian
1480 Hieronymus Aleander [Girólamo Aleandro], Italian diplomat/cardinal
1599 Alexander VII [Fabio Chigi], Siena Italy, pope (1655-67)
1610 Jean de la Badie French divine, founder of the Lagardists
1622 Adam Pijnacker landscape painter/etcher, baptized
1658 Jan B Wellekens Dutch poet/painter
1660 Johann Sigismund Kusser composer
1682 Giovanni Battista Piazzetta Venice, painter (Fortune Teller)
1713 Domingo Miguel Bernaube Terradellas composer
1721 John Reid composer
1755 François Alexander Sallantin composer
1756 Joannes van der Linden lawyer/judge (Ware Pleiter)
1757 John C Hespe Dutch journalist/politician
1766 Thomas Malthus Rookery Surrey UK, economist/demographer/population expert (Law of Malthus)
1768 Édouard Mortier French general, duke, prime minister (1834-35)
1778 Fernando Sor composer
1787 James P Carrell composer
1805 David Dudley Field lawyer/law codifier
1805 Peter G L Dirichlet Germany, number theorist/analyst
1807 Bartolommea Capitanio Italian monastery founder (Liefdezusters)
1813 Charles Pierre Schimpf Governor of Suriname (1855-59)
1820 Bela Albrecht Pal Keler composer
1822 Lev A Mej Russian nobleman/poet
1829 Gerard Keller writer (Netherlands Spectator)
1831 John Aaron Rawlins Bvt Major General (Union Army), died in 1869
1833 William Whedbee Kirkland Brigadier General (Confederate Army), died in 1915
1837 Valentin de Zubiaurre y Unionbarrenechea composer
1840 Georg Jacobi composer
1849 Lord Randolph Churchill England, politician, Winston's father
1852 Johan L E Dreyer Danish astronomer (New generation catalogue of nebulae)
1859 Frank van de Goes Dutch writer/marxist theorist
1859 William Strang Scottish painter/engraver
1861 Uchimura Kanzo Tokyo, religious writer (How I Became a Christian)
1862 Karel Weis composer
1870 Leopold Godowsky Lithuania, virtuoso pianist/composer
1874 Hendrik Spiekman Dutch politician (social-democratic)
1875 Kanouse quintuplets Watertown WI, 1st quintuplets in US, born to Edna Kanouse
1877 Jazeps Medins composer
1881 Eleanor Farjeon English writer (Martin Pippin)
1883 Harold "Hal" Chase baseball player/manager
1883 Bainbridge Crist composer
1885 Elizabeth Virginia "Bess" Truman 1st lady (1945-53)
1886 Ricardo Güiraldes Argentina, novelist/poet (Don Segundo Sombra)
1887 Alvin York famed US soldier with 25 kills in WWI
1888 Georgios Papandreou Greek prefect of Lesbos/minister/premier
1888 Heintje Davids [Hendrika], Dutch revue star
1892 Grant Wood US, painter (American Gothic)
1892 Robert Houghwout Jackson 84th Supreme Court justice (1941-54)
1893 Ana Pauker-Rabensohn Romania, communist/foreign minister (1945-52)
1895 Fred Essler Austria, actor (Unsinkable Molly Brown, Saratoga Trunk)
1898 Neville Pearson English publisher
1902 Blair Moody New Haven CT, (Senator-MI)
1902 Karl Menger Austria/US mathematician (theory of dimension)
1903 Georges Simenon Belgium, mystery writer (Snow Was Black)
1908 Gerald Strang Claresholm Canada, composer
1908 Sulo Nurmela Finland, 4 X 100K relay skier (Olympics-gold-1936)
1908 Pauline Frederick journalist/correspondent (UN, NBC TV)
1910 William B Shockley London, US physicist (Nobel 1956 - for research on semiconductors and discovery of the transistor effect along with John Bardeen and Walter Houser Brattain)
1911 Jean Muir Fullarton actress
1912 Jose de Capriles US, fencer (Olympics-1936, 48, 52)
1912 French J Van den Brande Flemish actor
1912 Margaretta Scott actress (Crescendo, Where's Charley, Counterblast)
1913 Arthur Carleton Hetherington public servant
1913 Guiseppe Dossetti politician/priest
1914 Earl Cadogan British large landowner (Military Cross)
1914 George Kleinsinger San Bernardino CA, composer (Tubby the Tuba)
1915 Lyle Betther Philadelphia PA, actor (Harry-Grand Jury, Lone Ranger)
1916 James Griffith Los Angeles CA, actor (Sheriff of Cochise)
1917 Polly Rose actress (Myrtle-Love That Jill)
1918 Helen Stephens Fulton MO, 100 meter runner (Olympics-gold-1936)
1918 Patty Berg Minneapolis MN, LPGA golfer (1938 US Amateur, 1943, 1955 AP Sports Woman of the Year)
1919 Eddie Robinson winningest college football coach (Grambling)
1919 Joan Edwards New York NY, singer (Joan Edwards Show)
1919 Tennessee Ernie Ford Bristol TN, country singer/actor (pea picker)
1920 Bryant Boudleaux Shellman GA, rock writer (Bye Bye Love)
1920 Eileen Farrell Willimantic CT, opera soprano (Interrupted Melody)
1921 Henk van Galen Last Dutch journalist
1921 Zao-Wou-Ki Chinese/French painter/graphic artist
1922 Lord Pym of Sandy British minister of foreign affairs
1923 Chuck Yeager US test pilot (1st man to break sound barrier)
1924 Jean-Jacques Servan-Schreiber French economist/politician
1925 Gene Ames singer
1925 Jan Arends Dutch poet/author
1926 Barney Childs composer
1927 Harry Wich Dutch set designer
1929 Omar Torrijos Herrera President of Panama
1930 Dotty McGuire Middletown OH, singer (McGuire Sisters)
1931 Marjorie Jackson Austria, 100 meter/200 meter dash (Olympics-gold-1952)
1933 Emanuel Ungaro France, fashion designer (Neiman-Marcus Award-1969)
1933 Paul Biya President of Cameroon (1982- )
1933 Caroline Blakiston actress (At Bertram's Hotel)
1933 Kim Novak [Marilyn], Chicago IL, actress (Vertigo, Of Human Bondage)
1934 George Segal actor/banjo player (Carbon Copy, Fun with Dick & Jane)
1935 Tommy Jacobs golfer
1936 John Harris British cricket player
1936 Leamon King Tulare CA, 4X100 meter relayer (Olympics-gold-1956)
1937 Sigmund Jähn German DR, cosmonaut (Soyuz 31/29)
1937 Susan Oliver New York NY, actress (Ann-Peyton Place, Star Trek-Cage)
1938 Oliver Reed London England, actor (Big Sleep)
1939 Valery Illych Rozhdestvensky USSR, cosmonaut (Soyuz 23)
1941 Bo Svenson Göteborg Sweden, actor (North Dallas 40, Walking Tall)
1942 Carol Lynley New York NY, actress (Night Stalker, Fantasy Island, Immortal)
1942 Donald E Williams Lafayette IN, Captain USN/astronaut (STS 51D, STS 34)
1942 Peter Tork [Peter Halsten Thorkelson] Washington DC, singer/actor (Monkees-Last Train to Clarksville)
1943 F C Delius writer
1943 Geoff Edwards Westfield NJ, actor (Jeff-Petticoat Junction, Jackpot)
1943 Leo Frankowski US, sci-fi author (High Tech Knight, Flying Warlord)
1944 Stockard Channing New York NY, actress (Grease, The Big Bus, Without a Trace)
1944 Jerry Springer London England, talk show host (Jerry Springer Show)
1944 Sal Bando baseball player (Oakland A's)
1945 Keith Nichols jazz pianist
1945 King Floyd rocker
1945 Roy Dyke Liverpool, rock drummer (Ashton, Gardner & Dyke)
1946 Rainer Werner Fassbinder German director/actor (Ehe der Maria Braun)
1947 Mike Krzyzewski basketball coach
1947 Tony Butler rock bassist (Big Country-It's a Big Country, Wonderland)
1950 Leonard Pascoe cricketer (dynamic Aussie quick 1977-82)
1950 Peter Gabriel Surrey England, rock vocalist (Genesis, In Your Eyes)
1951 David Naughton Hartford CT, actor (My Sister Sam, Seperate Vacations)
1952 David Puilum Choi Hong Kong, murderer (FBI Most Wanted List)
1952 Ed Gagliardi New York NY, rock bassist (Foreigner-Cold As Ice)
1953 Sharon Wyatt Lebanon TN, actress (Tiffany-General Hospital)
1953 Suleiman Nyambui Tanzanian runner (world record 5k indoor)
1955 Jan de Ligt Dutch saxophonist (I've Got the Bullets)
1955 Scott Smith rock bassist (Loverboy-Get Lucky)
1956 Liam Brady British soccer player
1956 Peter Hook English rock bassist (New Order-Round & Round, Run)
1956 Richard Eden actor (Brick-Santa Barbara, Solar Crisis, Robocop)
1957 Doris King Nashville TN, vocalist (Girls Next Door-Don't Be Cruel)
1957 Thelston Payne cricket wicket-keeper (West Indies 1986)
1958 Mark Fox congas/percussionist (Haircut 100-Nobody's Fool)
1959 Ali Campbell rocker (UB40-Red Red Wine)
1960 Michael Craig rock bassist (Culture Club-Do You Want to Hurt Me)
1960 Kelly McCormick Anaheim CA, diver (Olympics-silver-1984)
1960 Matt Salinger Windsor VT, actor (Captain America, Deadly Deception)
1961 Les Warner rocker (Cult-Fire Woman)
1961 Henry Rollins US vocalist/poet (Black Flagg, Rollins Band)
1961 Kyi Hla Han Yangon, Australasia golfer
1962 Jackie Silva Rio de Janeiro Brazil, volleyballer (Pan Am-bronze)
1963 Roberta Vasquez Los Angeles CA, playmate (November, 1984)
1963 Penelope Ann Miller actress (Awakenings, Chaplin, Freshman)
1964 Evi Strasser Bavaria German, equestrian (Olympics-96)
1965 Stephen Manley Los Angeles CA, actor (Donny-Married the 1st Year)
1965 Kenny Harrison Milwaukee WI, triple jumper
1966 Freedom Williams rock vocalist (C&C Music Factory-Everybody Dance Now)
1966 Tally Chanel Tel Aviv Israel, actress (Warrior Queen)
1967 Melanie Denise Bridges Derry NH, Miss New Hampshire-America (1990)
1967 Bas Roorda soccer player (FC Groningen)
1967 Eddie Pye US baseball infielder (Los Angeles Dodgers)
1968 Matt Mieske US baseball outfielder (Milwaukee Brewers)
1969 Subroto Banerjee cricketer (Indian quickie & Dennis Lillee protégé)
1970 Kevin Stocker US baseball infielder (Philadelphia Phillies)
1970 Ruben Brown NFL guard (Buffalo Bills)
1970 Vernon Patao 141 lbs (64 kg) US weightlifter (alternate-Olympics-1996)
1971 Jim Reid NFL tackle (Houston Oilers)
1971 Mats Sundin Bromma Sweden, NHL center (Team Sweden, Toronto Maple Leafs)
1971 Shelly Hammonds NFL safety (Minnesota Vikings)
1971 Todd Williams US baseball pitcher (Los Angeles Dodgers)
1972 Charlie Garner NFL running back (Philadelphia Eagles)
1972 Juha Ylonen Helsinki Finland, NHL forward (Olympics-bronze-1998, Phoenix)
1973 Willie Smith NFL linebacker (Detroit Lions)
1974 Anthony Mortas hockey forward (Team France 1998)
1975 Mark Gerald Keddell Christchurch New Zealand, 200 meter (Olympics-96)
1979 Julie Nagle Miss North Dakota Teen-USA (1997)
1980 Kristy Powell Florida, gymnast (Olympics-96)

Deaths which occurred on February 13:
1130 Honorius II [Lamberto], Pope (1124-30), dies
1199 Stefanus Nemanja (Symeon) monk, dies
1237 Jordanus of Saxon 2nd general of Dominicans, drowns
1315 Jean I of Chalon-Arlay mayor of Neuchâtel, dies
1332 Andronicus II Paleologus Byzantine emperor (1282-1328)/monk, dies
1542 Catherine Howard queen of England/5th wife of Henry VIII, is beheaded
1602 Alexander Nowell English churchman, dean of St Paul's, dies
1629 Girolamo Giacobbi composer, dies at 61
1635 Georg R Weckerlin German poet, dies at 50
1660 Charles X Gustaaf king of Sweden (1654-60), dies at 37
1662 Elisabeth Stuart English daughter of James I, dies at 65
1693 Johann Kaspar von Kerll German composer, dies at 65
1724 Francisco Jose Coutinho composer, dies at 43
1741 Johann Joseph Fux Austrian composer/music theorist, dies at about 80
1784 Charles Gravier French earl of Vergennes/Minister of Foreign Affairs, dies
1798 Wilhelm H Wackenroder German writer (Fantasies of Art), dies at 24
1814 Augustin Holler composer, dies at 69
1818 George Rogers Clark frontier military leader in Revolutionary War, dies
1841 Thomas Ainsworth English/Dutch industrialist, dies at 45
1849 Christian Rummel composer, dies at 61
1873 Petrus AS van Limburg Brouwer [Abraham van Luik], literary, dies
1882 Henry Highland Garnet diplomat, dies in Monrovia Liberia at 66
1883 Pavel Melnikov [Petsjerski], Russian historian, dies at 64
1883 Wilhelm Richard Wagner German composer (Die Walküre), dies in Venice at 69
1891 David Dixon Porter US Rear Admiral (Union Army-Civil War), dies at 77
1893 Ignacio M Altamirano Mexican author (El Zarco), dies at 58
1894 Franjo Racki Croatian historian/politician, dies at 65
1896 Karl Reinthaler composer, dies at 73
1907 Marcel Bertrand French mine engineer, dies at 59
1917 Joel Angel Russian musicologist/composer, dies at 48
1921 Willem P C Knuttel Dutch bibliography/librarian, dies at 67
1927 Brooks Adams US philosopher (New Empire), dies at 78
1935 Violet Paget British author (Gospels of Anarchy), dies at 78
1937 C A Bernoulli writer, dies
1941 Naomi Uemura Japanese mountain climber, dies on Mt McKinley
1943 William Walraven journalist/writer (Neglected Grouser), dies at 55
1945 George Studd cricketer (4 Tests with brother vs Australia 1882-83), dies
1952 Alfred Einstein German/US musicologist, dies at 71
1958 Georges Rouault French painter (Christ aux outrages), dies at 86
1959 William L Axt composer, dies at 70
1960 Delmar G Roos designer of the jeep, dies at 79
1963 Harry Steers bowling hall of famer, dies
1965 Jerry Burke pianist (Lawrence Welk Show), dies
1965 William H Kilpatrick US mathematician/philosopher, dies at 93
1966 Elio Vittorini writer, dies
1968 Ildebrando Pizzetti Italian composer, dies at 87
1968 Mae Marsh actress (Birth of a Nation, Intolerance), dies at 72
1970 Herbert Strudwick cricketer (28 Tests for England, ct 60 stp 12), dies
1975 Dagmar Godowsky actress (Common Law, Red Lights), dies at 78
1975 Eric Harding Thiman composer, dies at 74
1975 Henry P Van Dusen US protestant theologist, dies at 77
1976 General Murtala Mohammed head of Nigeria, killed during a coup
1976 Lily Pons French/US soprano/opera diva (Met Opera), dies at 71
1977 Jack Gardner actor (Wild Bill Hickok, 3 Russian Girls), dies at 77
1979 Jean Renoir actor/director (Rules of the Game), dies at 84
1980 David Janssen [Meyer], actor (Fugitive, Harry O), dies at 49
1982 Zeng Jinlian Hunan China, grew to 8'1" (tallest woman), dies at 17
1983 Marian Nixon actress (Dr Bull, Sweepstakes), dies of cancer at 78
1987 M L "Curly" Page cricketer (New Zealand Test captain 1933), dies
1990 Ken Lynch actor (Paratroop Command, Legend of Tom Dooley), dies at 79
1991 Bernard Sauer Yiddish actor, dies of heart attack at 67
1991 Eddie Bartell actor (Every Night at Eight), dies at 83
1992 Bob den Uyl Dutch journalist/writer (Restless Travel), dies at 61
1993 Agatha Hagtingius-Seger Dutch author (Sparkles Chain), dies at 91
1994 Jack Kirby cartoonist (Marvel Comics), dies at 76
1994 Michael Francis Morris Lindsay orientalist, dies at 84
1994 Theo Bitter Dutch painter/set designer, dies at 79
1995 Abdelhafid Said Algerian student leader, murdered
1995 Alberto Burri Italian physician/sculptor/painter), dies at 79
1995 Azeddine Medjoubi head Algerian nationally theater, murdered at 49
1995 Joan A C Ramsey nee Hamilton lady Ramsey of Canterbury, dies at 84
1995 Wilton "Bogey" Gaynair saxophonist, dies at 68
1996 Daniel K Womack singer/guitarist, dies at 91
1996 Martin Balsam actor (Archie's Place), dies at 76
1998 Jo Clayton author, (Cancer Died, Drums of Chaos), dies at 58

On this day...
1130 Gregorio de' Papareschi elected as Pope Innocent II
1349 Jews are expelled from Burgsordf Switzerland
1510 Charles of Gelre conquerors Oldenzaal
1545 Willem of Nassau becomes prince of Orange
1566 St Augustine FL founded
1601 John Lancaster leads 1st East India Company voyage from London
1633 Italian astronomer Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before Inquisition for professing belief that earth revolves around the Sun
1635 Oldest US public institution, Boston Latin School founded
1651 Flemish missionary Joris van Geel departs to Congo
1668 Treaty of Lisbon Spain recognizes Portugal
1678 Tycho Brahe 1st sketches "Tychonic system" of solar system
1689 British Parliament adopts Bill of Rights
1692 MacDonald clan murdered on orders of King William III
1693 College of William & Mary opens
1706 Battle at Fraustadt Swedish army beats Russia/Saksen
1741 Andrew Bedford publishes 1st American magazine (The American Magazine)
1755 Rebel leader Mangkubuni signs Treaty of Gianti Java
1777 Marquis de Sade arrested without charge, imprisoned in Vincennes fortress
1782 French fleet occupies St Christopher
1786 Abraham Baldwin selected president of University of Georgia
1795 1st state university in US opens, University of North Carolina
1799 1st US law regulating insurance passed, by Massachusetts
1809 French take Saragossa, Spain after a long siege
1816 Teatro San Carlo in Naples destroyed by fire
1826 American Temperance Society, forms in Boston
1832 1st appearance of cholera at London
1837 Riot in New York over high price of flour
1858 Sir Richard Burton & John Speake explore Lake Tanganyika, Africa
1860 King Basse Kajuara departs Boni South-Celebes
1861 1st military action to result in Congressional Medal of Honor, Arizona
1861 Abraham Lincoln declared President
1861 Colonel Bernard Irwin attacks & defeats hostile Chiricahua Indians
1862 Siege of Ft Donelson TN
1864 Meridian Campaign fighting at Chunky Creek & Wyatt, Mississippi
1866 Jesse James holds up his 1st bank, Liberty MO ($15,000)
1867 Johann Strauss' "Blue Danube" waltz premieres in Vienna
1886 Painter Thomas Eakins resigns from Philadelphia Academy of Art after controversy over use of male nudes in a coed art class
1895 Moving picture projector patented
1899 -1ºF (-18ºC) New Orleans LA
1899 -2ºF (-19ºC) Tallahassee FL (state record)
1899 -16ºF (-27ºC), Minden LA (state record)
1905 -29ºF (-34ºC) Pond AR (state record)
1905 -40ºF (-40ºC) Lebanon KS (state record)
1905 -40ºF (-40ºC) Warsaw MO (state record)
1907 English suffragettes storm British Parliament & 60 women are arrested
1912 England regains cricket's Ashes
1914 American Society of Composers, Authors & Publishers-ASCAP forms in New York NY
1920 National Negro Baseball League organized
1920 League of Nations recognizes perpetual neutrality of Switzerland
1920 Switzerland rejoins League of Nations
1923 1st Black pro Basketball team, "Renaissance", organizes
1924 King Tut's tomb opened
1925 US Congress makes Surpreme Court appeal more difficult
1927 Uprising against Portuguese regime of General Carmona defeated
1929 Cruiser Act OKs construction of 19 new cruisers & an aircraft carrier
1929 Vladimir Mayakofsky's "Klop" premieres in Moscow
1932 "Free Eats" introduces George "Spanky" McFarland to "Our Gang"
1934 Austrian Dollfuss government bans socialistic party
1935 1st US surgical operation for relief of angina pectoris, Cleveland OH
1935 Bruno Hauptmann found guilty of kidnap & murder of Lindbergh's infant
1937 "Prince Valiant" comic strip appears; known for historical detail
1937 Maribel Vinson wins her 9th US figure skating championship
1937 NFL Boston Redskins move to Washington DC
1937 Bradman scores 123 South Africa vs Queensland, 165 minutes, 10-4 1-6 in cricket
1937 US female Figure Skating championship won by Maribel Vinson
1937 US male Figure Skating championship won by Robin Lee
1940 Bradman scores 209 in 161 minutes for South Australia at the WACA
1941 Nazi leaders attack Dutch Jewish Council
1942 Hitler's Operation Seelöwe (invasion of England) cancelled
1943 German assault on Sidi Bou Zid Tunisia, General Eisenhower visits front
1943 Women's Marine Corps created
1945 Allied planes bomb Dresden Germany; 135,000 die
1945 USSR captures Budapest, after 49-day battle with Germany; 159,000 die
1946 "Duchess Misbehaves" opens at Adelphi Theater NYC for 5 performances
1948 Wright Flyer, 1st plane to fly, returns to US from England
1948 Andy Ganteaume scores 112 for W Indies in only Test Cricket innings
1948 Ice Pairs Championship at Davos won by Lannoy & Baugniet of Belgium
1948 Men's Figure Skating Championship in Davos won by Richard Button USA
1952 Rocky Marciano defeated Lee Savold for his 39th straight win
1953 A's change name of Shibe Park to Connie Mack Stadium
1954 Furman basketball star Frank Selvy scores 100 points in a game vs Newberry
1954 Frank Selvey scores 100 points for Furman beating Newberry 149-95
1955 Israel acquires 4 of 7 Dead Sea scrolls
1955 KRCG TV channel 13 in Jefferson City MO (CBS) begins broadcasting
1955 Patty Berg wins LPGA St Petersburg Golf Open
1956 KYW-AM in Philadelphia PA gives calls to WTAM (now WWWE) Cleveland
1957 Southern Christian Leadership Conference organizes in New Orleans
1959 Barbie doll goes on sale
1959 Miro Cardon, premier of Cuba, resigns
1960 "Beg, Borrow or Steal" opens at Martin Beck Theater NYC for 5 performances
1960 "Saratoga" closes at Winter Garden Theater NYC after 80 performances
1960 France performs 1st nuclear test at Reggane Proving Grounds Algeria
1961 Frank Sinatra launches Reprise label under Warner Brothers Records
1961 Soviet Union fires a rocket from Sputnik V to Venus
1965 US female Figure Skating championship won by Peggy Fleming
1965 US male Figure Skating championship won by Gary Visconti
1966 USSR performs nuclear test at Eastern Kazakhstan/Semipalitinsk USSR
1968 US sends 10,500 additional soldiers to Vietnam
1969 Mary Hopkin's Postcard album on Apple is released
1969 Suriname government of Pengel resigns
1970 Man-eating tiger is reported to have killed 48, 80 km from New Delhi
1970 NL offices begins move from Cincinnati to San Francisco (completed Feb 23)
1971 Golfing Vice President Spiro Agnew hits 2 tee shots into the crowd, injuring 2
1971 12,000 South Vietnamese troops cross into Laos
1972 "1776" closes at 46th St Theater NYC after 1,217 performances
1972 "Grease" opens on Broadway
1972 11th Winter Olympics games close at Sapporo, Japan
1973 Musical "El Grande de Coca-Cola" premieres in New York NY
1973 US dollar devalues 10%
1974 Dissident Nobel writer Alexander Solzhenitsyn expelled from USSR
1974 "Rainbow Jones" opens & closes at Music Box Theater NYC
1974 James "Cool Papa" Bell is named to baseball's Hall of Fame
1975 Cyprus premier Denktash proclaims Turkish-Cypriot Federation
1976 Dorothy Hamill wins Olympics figure-skating gold, Innsbruck, Austria
1976 Peter Casserly of New Zealand hand-sheers record 353 lambs in 9 holes
1977 Eric Heiden is 1st American to win world speed skating championship
1977 "Guys & Dolls" closes at Broadway Theater NYC after 239 performances
1977 "Ipi Tombi" closes at Harkness Theater NYC after 39 performances
1977 "Robber Bridegroom" closes at Biltmore Theater NYC after 145 performances
1977 Pam Higgins wins LPGA American Cancer Society Golf Classic
1978 US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
1979 Washington State's Hood Canal Bridge breaks up in windstorm
1979 2nd Emmy Sports Award presentation
1980 Apollo Computer Inc incorporated
1980 New Zealand beats West Indies by one wicket in cricket at Dunedin
1981 Longest sentence published by New York Times-1286 words
1982 Islander's Bryan Trottier scores 5 goals against the Flyers
1982 Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" is on the charts for 402nd week
1983 World Boxing Council becomes 1st to cut boxing from 15 to 12 rounds
1983 "Merlin" opens at Mark Hellinger Theater NYC for 199 performances
1983 33rd NBA All-Star Game East beats West 132-123 at Los Angeles CA
1983 Australia beats New Zealand 2-0 to win World Series Cup
1983 Donna White wins LPGA Sarasota Golf Classic
1983 E Bernstein, Levinson & Link's musical "Merlin" premieres in New York NY
1984 Konstantin Chernenko succeeds Yuri Andropov as USSR leader
1984 6 year old Texan Stormie Jones gets 1st heart & liver transplant
1985 Dow Jones closes at 1297.92 (record high) after topping 1300 earlier
1985 Polish police arrests 7 Solidarity leaders
1987 Tigers' Jack Morris awarded $1.85 million salary by arbitrator
1988 15th Winter Olympics games open at Calgary, Canada
1988 Christine Wachtel runs world record 800 meter indoor (1 minute 56.40 seconds)
1988 European Community plans removal of inner boundaries on Jan 1, 1992
1988 Heike Dreschler long jumps world record indoor (7.37 meters)
1988 Ronald Weigel runs unofficial world record speed walking (18 minutes 11.41 seconds)
1989 Oklahoma football player Charles Thompson is charged with selling cocaine; he is later sentenced to 2 years in prison
1989 Salvadoran army attacks Encuentros hospital, rapes, kills patients
1989 Kidnapped Belgian Premier Vanden Boeynants freed
1990 Larry Bird (Celtics) ends NBA free throw streak of 71 games
1990 US, England, France & England give Germany the OK to re-unify
1990 50 killed at Inkatha-UDF battle in Natal, South Africa
1991 Syria tells Germany they are ready to recognize Israel
1991 US bombs Iraqi air raid shelter, killing 334
1992 West beats East 14 to 9 in Major Soccer League all star game
1992 "Most Happy Fella" opens at Booth Theater NYC for 229 performances
1992 Jose Canseco repeatedly rams his Porsche into wife Esther's BMW
1993 Ljubow Kremljowa runs world record 1000 meter indoor (2 minutes 34.84 seconds)
1993 Merlene Ottey runs world record 200 meter indoor (21.87 seconds)
1993 Sergei Bubka pole vaults indoor record (6.14 meters)
1994 44th NBA All-Star Game East beats West 127-118 at Minneapolis MN
1994 Inna Lassovskaya jumps world record 14.9m
1994 Johann Olav Koss skates world record 5000 meter 6 34,96
1994 Ship disaster near Ranong Thailand, kills 200
1995 Howard Stern radio show premieres in San Diego CA on KIOZ 105.3 FM
1995 West Indies beat New Zealand by innings & 332, Courtney Walsh 13-55
1996 Howard Stern announces he will be making the film "Private Parts"
1996 Rock musical "Rent", by Jonathan Larson, opens off-Broadway
1997 "Three Sisters" opens at Criterion Theater NYC
1997 Discovery captures Hubble Space Telescope
2000 US female Figure Skating championship
2000 US male Figure Skating championship

Holidays
Note: Some Holidays are only applicable on a given "day of the week"

St Augustine FL : Fiesta de Menendez

Religious Observances
Christian : Feast of St Martinian
Methodist : Race Relations Sunday (2nd Sunday in February)
Christian : Commemoration of St Catherine de Ricci, virgin/mystic
Anglican : Commemoration of Absalom Jones, priest,

Religious History
1826 The American Temperance Society (later renamed the American Temperance Union) was organized in Boston. It quickly grew into a national crusade, and within a decade over 8,000 similar groups had been formed, boasting a total of 1.5 million members.
1849 Otterbein College was chartered in Westerville, Ohio, under sponsorship of the United Brethren Church.
1936 The Lutheran Army and Navy Commission was organized by the Missouri Synod for the purpose of commissioning chaplains for military service and to minister to Lutheran personnel among the military overseas. In 1947 its name was changed to the Armed Services Commission.
1951 Death of Lloyd C. Douglas, 74, American Congregational clergyman and novelist. He published his first religious novel "Magnificent Obsession" in 1929, followed later by "The Robe" (1942) and "The Big Fisherman" (1948).
1973 The National Council of U.S. Catholic Bishops announced that anyone undergoing or performing an abortion would be excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church.

Thought for the day :
"Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him."

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