COMIC TURN Dennis Miller scales the Rushmore of wrong-headedness (Barry Crimmins Barf)

Boston Phoenix ^ | 2/28/3 | Barry Crimmins

[presidio9]

I have received several e-mails about Dennis Miller spewing hatred on The Tonight Show a few days ago. From what I’m told, he expressed great contempt for the French and total disdain for the well-being of innocents in Iraq. I believe the letters because I have seen him express similar Jurassic views on other programs. We thought he had bottomed out when he became the sportscasting equivalent of William Shatner/lounge singer, but it now appears he won’t be happy until he gets a show on the Fox News Channel.

I used to write for Miller in 1992, when he had a syndicated talk show. During the program’s one season, Miller went from endorsing Jerry Brown to becoming a big Ross Perot supporter. A political impulse-buyer, his ideological cannon was never lashed very securely to the deck. Over the years, the cannon somehow became lodged on the starboard side of the vessel. Each time Miller receives a paycheck, he seems to take it to a bank further to the right of the last one. And now, more than a decade since I wrote my last joke for the man, I can only watch in stupefaction as this once hip and inside comic completes his transformation into a lout whose act sounds as if it were ghostwritten by George Jessel. Actually, that’s not fair ... to George Jessel.

Dennis Miller was always decent to me. He gave me a chance, and I appreciated it, but he has become so obstinately wrong of late that I am left with no choice but to comment.

His attempt to style himself as a "Hollywood rebel" by completely sucking up to the ultimate "suits," which is to say the ones in Washington, is self-aggrandizing and pitiful. But then, tough as he speaks, Miller never met a powerful and/or connected guest he didn’t suck up to. So it’s predictable that he would court the braying repressionists who have seized control of the White House. Now we must listen to Miller blather insufferably as he refers with devotion to George W. Bush with the ever-possessive term "my president." After all, W. must be good if he belongs to that self-styled Hollywood rebel Dennis Miller! Right? Miller is so egotistical that he thinks that by referring to Bush again and again as "my president," he somehow legitimizes W.’s odious path to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He believes his verbal consecration will make us forget that the little bastard stole the White House. To do otherwise would be to risk having Dennis Miller label us "un-hip." Heaven forfend!

No longer the youthful and sassy anchor of SNL’s "Weekend Update" of all those years ago, Miller has become a national father figure. And what a lousy dad he is. Listening to his act is no longer something we look forward to; it is more like getting stuck in the back seat of your pop’s station wagon while he lectures you on "Americanism" through 30 miles of heavy traffic. In front of your friends.

But give Miller credit; he has accomplished something that almost no one before him has ever been able to do. He has actually become so vile that he is not even suitable company in Hollywood. He can now make a game-show host shudder in revulsion. This works well for the self-involved Miller. Why waste time considering the true horror and long-term ramifications of the violence he so blindly supports when we could instead be focusing on the assault of cold shoulders he has sustained on Rodeo Drive? Yeah, Dennis, enough of this massacre-of-innocents stuff, let’s talk about you.

As cocksure as Miller is in his new political alliance, he’d better watch himself — he could be headed toward a 21st-century version of Hitler’s "Night of the Long Knives." So long as church-state integrationist John Ashcroft is the attorney general, a purge of the potty-mouthed Miller is never a distant possibility.

He has carved a place for himself on the Rushmore of wrong-headedness, and there he will stay for years to come, a glowering, reactionary oaf for the ages. He’s ready for his close-up, Mr. Murdoch.

Visit Barry Crimmins's website at www.barrycrimmins.com.

[metesky]

Listening to his act is no longer something we look forward to; it is more like getting stuck in the back seat of your pop’s station wagon while he lectures you on "Americanism" through 30 miles of heavy traffic. In front of your friends.

Looks like Pop's lecturing didn't take, eh Mr. Crimmons. Maybe Pop should have thrown a few backhanders in with the lecture.

[BradyLS]

Dan Quayle's head must be doing 360's everytime Miller gets in front of a mic these days. "But...but...that guy built a CAREER on my back!!!"

[Rocko]

Visit Barry Crimmins's website at

No; thanks, anyway.

[Wavyhill]

The talk of Bush "stealing the election," in my humble opinion, is more than just sour grapes. It is a coded call for violent revolution, with the "unpersons" who voted for Bush to be liquidated afterward. The claim that John Ashcroft plans a "night of long knives" falls under the psychiatric term "projection." This guy seriously needs to be investigated--especially about those chat room sessions.

[PGalt]

My first exposure to Miller's politics was on the Donahue show a couple of nights ago (also the first time I watched the revived and now gone Mondale, I mean Donahue). Please let me know if you find a transcript. I thought Miller's accounting of his transformation coupled with Donahue's childlike comments, was classic television...the best battle of philosophies I have seen in some time.

[Calpublican]

Uh...After reading this article which is not clever, not amusing, not witty--I don't believe he ever wrote squat for Dennis Miller.

[Calpublican]

The "Battle of Philosophies" was embarrassingly one-sided. At the beginning poor, dull Donahue tried to engage Miller in a debate, but that effort was shortlived. He simply doesn't have the mental amps to keep up. Donawhatever just gave up and had a sick smile on his face for the balance of the ordeal. Ha! couldn't have happened to a dimmer bulb.

[Constitutional Patriot]

I love it when idiots like Barry say that Bush stole the White House. It's like they were on another planet. And did you ever notice how these morons never have anything to say about how Daschle stole the Senate (which is actually decided by a popular vote, unlike the presidency, which is decided via the electoral college). These people are as ignorant as they are dishonest.

How is it that they (attempt) to claim the moral and intellectual high ground?

[freebilly]

If you keep repeating the hack "Ya know Dubya is SO stupid ("How stupid is he?")..." routine for long enough, even a bunch of embarassed liberals will eventually grow bored.

I hope Crimmins keeps up the attacks. Some of the half-rational Dems might be embarassed enough to leave the Rat's sinking ship....

[presidio9]

No; thanks, anyway.

Actually it is quite entertaining to leave your "thoughts" on the website. While they are frequently censored, FReepers have succeeded in getting up sever criticisms of Mr. Crimmins, liberalism and former President Clinton. And the rebuttals have been lethargic and unconvincing.

More enterprising FReepers have also posted links to Peggy's recent editorial, as well as glowing reviews of Barbra Streisand's intellectual ability and a realization that the NAZI party was actually a leftist organization. All of which proported to be written by "huge" supporters of Barry's philosophy. It is clearly making the guestbook monitor apoplectic. Good. These people are out there, and some people are listening to them. The way to combate that is to answer them directly. You will never convince them of anything, but you will demonstrate their ridiculousness to onlookers.

[WaveThatFlag]

Uh...After reading this article which is not clever, not amusing, not witty--I don't believe he ever wrote squat for Dennis Miller.

You are probably right. And Mr. Crimmins has always been understandibly vauge on the details of his departure. This much we can be pretty sure of: He was fired. Mr. Crimmins did not voluntarily walk off a highly rated program to take a crappy job helping a free circular sell escort services, penis enlargement products, and alternative lifestyles "personals."

He was axed. And he was most likely axed because Mr. Miller didn't want to say what Mr. Crimmins was writing anymore.

[Mr. K]

I just hope Miller see the result of making conservative comment- and rails against it (as he should)

[WaveThatFlag]

I just hope Miller see the result of making conservative comment- and rails against it (as he should)

Not sure I'm following you here...

[presidio9]

Apparently Mr. Miller checked out Crimmins' site and responded to the attacks. Either that or the admin moderator on the site is a complete idiot.

[amused]

LOL.....I think Dennis clones have had it with Crimmins rants

[hattend]

I vote your second choice! The site manager and the site owner are idiots.

[presidio9]

If you need an exapmple of how delusional and moronic the type of person who believes the lies of a guy like Barry Crimmins really is go see his guestbook. Some joker posted a note and signed it "Dennis Miller." -As if Dennis Miller has nothing better to do then to listen to the complaints of a washed-up boring hippie he fired 10 years ago for being unfunny. Those knuckleheads are actually responding to it! Better check quick though, I'm pretty sure Crimmins monitors this site & the posts will be removed tomorrow. The indignance is hilarious!

[Mr. K]

I hope Miller notes what happens when he makes one concervative comment. He lives a life spouting liberal stupidity, and he is embraced by the leftists.

Then he makes one comment using his actual brain and they SKEWER him as if he was a Rush Limbaugh all his life...

[TankerKC]

When you agree with the left, they love you. When you disagree with the left, its "hate speech" So predictable.

When you agree with the right, they love you. When you disagree with the right, its "un-American" So predictable.;)

[xm177e2]

Do right-wingers care about Arianna Huffington as much as Jickety Crimmins seems to care about Dennis Miller? Ideological treason drives this guy nuts. We look down on Arianna for being dumb, and refute what she has to say. This guy just doesn't like Miller's politics, his attitude.