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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Sometimes Mondays feel a little like this…

    12/08/2014 9:33:03 AM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 5 replies
    CRASHR ^ | 12-8-14 | The Looking Spoon
    I had a super busy weekend, it was anything but relaxing (December tends to be the best/worst month schedule-wise...as I'm sure it is for many)...so in starting the week on that note this meme kind of speaks to me :-)
  • Missouri Guv Explains Absence of National Guard at Ferguson Riots [satire]

    12/08/2014 8:16:17 AM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 Dec 2014 | John Semmens
    Governor Jay Nixon (D) explained why, despite pleas from Lieutenant Governor Peter Kinder and Ferguson Mayor James Knowles, the state’s National Guard troops weren’t immediately dispatched to quell the riots. “I couldn’t risk National Guard troops shooting people like they did at Kent State in 1970,” Nixon offered. “Then the blood would be on my hands and Neil Young would write a song about me…me. It’s bad enough that I already share an unfortunate surname with former President Nixon. I didn’t want to replicate his actions.” The Governor characterized the contention that troops might have lessened the damage as “pure...
  • Cellophane on Ice

    12/08/2014 6:06:16 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 5 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 12-8-2014 | MOTUS
    William and Kate have barely landed on New York soil, and already the chattering heads have revved up the fashion controversy: which royal couple in America reigns supreme? Or, as the NYMag headline put it: William and Kate Arrive in NYC, Obamas Challenge Their Fashion Supremacy – And We’ll Never Be Royals (“Royals” h/t Lorde)So, while BO and MO dressed up in their royal finery:Oh look! The Ice Queen Cometh – and Lady M too!to entertain the family and Tom Hanks at the 37th Annual Kennedy Center HonorsOh look! Another Presidential award for another Hollywood bag manWilliam and the pregnant Kate...
  • Armed American Radio (12-7-14)

    12/07/2014 2:11:58 PM PST · by RandallFlagg · 2 replies
    Armed American Radio ^ | 12-7-14 | RandallFlagg
    The Armed American Radio broadcast with Mark Walters is on every Sunday 8PM Eastern, 5PM Pacific. Coming to you live from the Crossbreed Holsters Studio. Find AAR on your local stationFacebookListen LiveThe AAR iTunes podcasts are usually available the following Monday Are you sad because the GunTalk radio show with the awesome Tom Gresham ended it's last few minutes, and you have to wait a week for another firearms-related radio show to appear so you can listen? Do you crave to hear from the experts across the nation about our current problems regarding twisted politicians inflicting their anti-gun agendas on...
  • Opponents of Amnesty Oppose Human Rights [satire]

    12/07/2014 8:47:31 AM PST · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Dec 2014 | John Semmens
    Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson characterized congressional opponents of amnesty for illegal immigrants as “enemies of human rights.” “The constant questions about how the president’s deferred deportation program helps Americans exposes the selfishness and inhumanity of his critics,” Johnson asserted. “Since when is everything we do supposed to benefit Americans? After all, Americans are a tiny portion of humanity. Why should their interests be permitted to override the well-being of the other 96 percent?” “A case could be made that 4 percent of the world population consuming 20 percent of world output is unfair,” Johnson observed. “Since it is...
  • The Red Tide Has Passed: We’re Back In The Months With An “R” in Them.

    12/07/2014 6:54:21 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 6 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 12-7-2014 | MOTUS
    Oh no! Big Guy has been brought down by a case of the dreaded Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). I can hear the late night jokes writing themselves. “Now Obama is even giving himself heartburn.”It’s no surprise of course, the way people have been letting him down left and right. Mary Landrieu is just the latest Prog Obamacare Cheerleader to be swept out to sea by the red tide. In her concession speech, Landrieu touted her own "record of courage, honesty and integrity and delivering for the state when it mattered the most." Unfortunately, the citizens of Louisiana thought she delivered...
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    12/07/2014 5:55:33 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 13 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 07 December 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Consumers to Blame for Obamacare's Failures [satire]

    12/06/2014 8:39:31 AM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Dec 2014 | John Semmens
    Former Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius attempted to defend the Affordable Care Act health insurance scheme she helped establish by blaming consumers for its shortcomings. "A lot of Americans have no idea what insurance is about," Sebelius said. "It's a complicated product that few are competent to purchase. In hindsight, our biggest mistake was probably trying to incorporate a modicum of individual choice into the system." "If we had just set up a single-payer government-run health insurance regime a lot of the complaints that riled the general public could have been avoided," she continued. "All of the...
  • I’m too sexy for my thumbs; too sexy for my gum, too sexy for my bum…

    12/06/2014 7:07:17 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 12 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 12-6-2014 | MOTUS
    Well this should be fun! Let’s have a “who’s too sexiest” contest. That’s “sexiest” not “sexist” – big difference; one is, like, sexy and the other is like, well, “War On Women.”So first up, the original too sexiest guy: I’m Too Sexy – by one-hit-wonder, Right Said Fred.Next, the 2014 fan fiction remake of I’m Too Sexy – by two-bit-Wonder, Barack Hussein Obama. (h/t Abenaki and Weasel Zippers)Stupid, yet oddly addictive…the “I’m So Sexy” song, I mean. And although it’s a well known fact that Halfrican men can’t dance (‘cos they’re too sexy or something); Big Guy still manages to...
  • DUmmie FUnnies 12-05-14 (KOmmie Rage at Rolling Stone Over Debunked Rape Story)

    12/05/2014 1:52:49 PM PST · by PJ-Comix · 45 replies
    DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 5, 2014 | KOmmies and PJ-Comix
    <p>The Left, along with the KOmmies, DUmmies, and Nancy Grace figured that at long last they could finally blame white jocks for sexual abuse. Unfortunately for them, the DUke LaCrosse case completely backfired on them bigtime. However, now they figured they had a slam DUnk case against a bunch of white frat boys. After all this time the rape accusations were written up in detail in Rolling Stone. Well, that story did hold up for a couple of weeks, enough time for the idiotic president of the University of Virginia to suspend frat activities without even doing an investigation when this case also blew up in their faces as you can see in this big BACKTRACK from Rolling Stone today. In addition, the Washington Post did the FACT CHECKING that the so-called writer of the Rolling Stoned story should have done and found it came up way short in terms of veracity starting with the fact that the alleged perp wasn't even a member of the frat in question.</p>
  • Obama Takes the Fifth [satire]

    12/05/2014 1:52:19 PM PST · by John Semmens · 15 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Dec 2014 | John Semmens
    The Obama Administration defied a court order to turn over documents the IRS illegally shared with the White House in its political vendetta against 2500 conservative organizations. Secretary of the Treasury Jacob Lew, Obama’s former White House Chief of Staff, maintains that “for us to be compelled to testify against ourselves would violate the the Constitution's Fifth Amendment. And if there's one thing that this Administration will defend to the last it is the inviolability of the Constitution.” The specific clause the Secretary is referring to is the one barring the government from compelling an individual in a criminal case...
  • DON’T BREATHE!

    12/05/2014 12:19:00 PM PST · by smoothsailing · 10 replies
    Power Line ^ | 12-5-2014 | Scott Johnson
    DECEMBER 5, 2014 BY SCOTT JOHNSON Don’t breathe! John observes that in Minneapolis “The liberals are revolting.” It’s a general truth but, in Minnesota, we have a bad case of it.I happened to be heading south on Highway 35W out of downtown Minneapolis at mid-afternoon yesterday when I saw the roving band of ladies and gentlemen of the idiotic left marching north. They accompanied themselves with the the mindless “I can’t breathe” chant. I found the chant inspirational. I confess: it inspired prohibited thoughts of “If only.”Can we get a counterdemonstration going? “Don’t breathe!” The traffic heading north toward downtown...
  • I WONT STAND for Hillary

    12/05/2014 11:06:57 AM PST · by MeshugeMikey · 70 replies
    MeshugeMikey ^ | December 05 2014 | MeshugeMikey
  • Obama In 2012: ‘We Can’t Just Drill Our Way To Lower Gas Prices’

    12/05/2014 10:26:44 AM PST · by TexasCajun · 32 replies
    DailyCaller.com ^ | 12/05/2014 | MICHAEL BASTASCH
    Gasoline prices are plummeting as U.S. oil production from shale formations booms, reaching more than nine million barrels per day through Nov. 28. Gasoline is now hitting four-year lows and oil prices are hitting five-year lows. But it was just two years ago that President Obama said “we can’t just drill our way to lower gas prices” in a speech bashing Republican calls for more drilling. “And you can bet that since it’s an election year, they’re already dusting off their three-point plans for $2 gas,” Obama continued. “I’ll save you the suspense: Step one is drill, step two is...
  • Sheriff David Clarke B-Slaps Eric Holder. Now You Can Pile On!

    12/05/2014 6:17:27 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 6 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 12-5-2014 | MOTUS
    Wow, there’s a whole lot of B-slapping going on here: In his interview with Megyn Kelly, Sheriff Clarke takes the back of his hand to Ricky Holder (AG, USA), Congressman Al Green (D, Texas), Big Guy (D, WORLD), and Al Sharpton (A-H at large). Compare this clip with the Standup for Hillary video (alternate title: “Burn this B***h Down”) and tell me: who would you vote for?Butt let’s focus on Eric Holder, our Attorney General who’s been “B-Slapping” Americans of no-color around since he arrived on the scene six years ago. Now, it’s finally your turn; I hope you enjoy my...
  • TGIF Toons

    12/05/2014 4:12:10 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 3 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 05 December 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Eisenhower, Zhukov: unconditional surrender off the table

    12/04/2014 10:43:49 PM PST · by wetphoenix · 7 replies
    What if the Allied war effort of World War II was directed by the current Republican leadership? Listen to the strumming harp music as we take an imaginary journey into the past... 24 November 1944 -- Emerging from a joint strategy meeting, Generals Eisenhower and Zhukov addressed a press meeting and outlined their plans for bringing about a peaceful resolution to what had snowballed into a massive world war. “My Russian counterpart and I realize the meaning of our spectacular victories at Stalingrad and Normandy," said Eisenhower. "It is that the message of the Allies must be one of willingness...
  • THE LIBERALS ARE REVOLTING

    12/04/2014 8:35:55 PM PST · by smoothsailing · 43 replies
    Power Line ^ | 12-4-2014 | John Hinderaker
    DECEMBER 4, 2014 BY JOHN HINDERAKER The Liberals Are Revolting A running joke in the Wizard of Id comic strip was that the peasants were revolting:Here in Minnesota, the liberals are revolting, as the nationwide rash of anti-police demonstrations came to Minneapolis today. Actually, multiple demonstrations were combined: it began with a group demanding $15 an hour to work at a local Burger King. The Mayor of Minneapolis and a city council member or two showed up to demonstrate solidarity with the protesters. From there, the demonstrators, estimated to number around 150, began a long trek up Highway 35W, the...
  • 10 funny and clever graphics/memes for Christmas

    12/04/2014 4:49:05 PM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 6 replies
    CRASHR ^ | 12-4-14 | The Looking Spoon
    The last one is both sad and hilarious a the same time.
  • Ferguson, NYC and now the Ongoing Zwarte Piet Controversy in Holland

    12/04/2014 6:05:48 AM PST · by NOBO2012
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 12-4-2014 | MOTUS
    “Run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man ."Yes I know: another day, another racist outrage. Butt do you know what tomorrow is? It’s the Eve of St. Nicholas Day. You do remember St. Nicholas don’t you? Aka St. Nick, aka Sinterklaas? You may recall when we discussed him last year, during one of BO’s European tours. St. Nick, Dutch progenitor of our own American Santa Claus, visits children on the eve of his feast day (December 6), bringing them small gifts (i.e. no iPhones or Xboxes): Later on the night of December...