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Trump Orders Catapults Be Placed Along Border To Expedite Deportations (SATIRE)
Breaking Burgh ^ | November 9, 2018 | staff

Posted on 11/09/2018 7:53:46 PM PST by Morgana

President Trump said today he is determined that deportations of those who enter the United States illegally proceed quickly, without waiting for court proceedings motorized transportation.

“We’re going to use catapults because that’s the fastest way. It’s going to be so fast. Very very fast.”

Trump insisted that he would not repeat the mistakes of the past that caused a huge backlash, even from the occasional Republican.

“I have ordered that families be launched together, but if they separate while still on a parabolic trajectory through the air that’s not on me.”

Others, however, have cast suspicion on claims that Trump really said this.

“Suggesting we load human beings in catapults sound plausible, but using words like parabolic and trajectory is not something this President would do.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: border; catapults; deportation; humor
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I'm dying of laughter here!!
1 posted on 11/09/2018 7:53:46 PM PST by Morgana
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To: Morgana

I’ve always been partial to trebuchets myself.


2 posted on 11/09/2018 7:55:18 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum (Democracy dies when Democrats refuse to accept the result of a democratic election they didn't win.)
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To: Morgana

3 posted on 11/09/2018 7:59:13 PM PST by TigersEye (This is the age of the death of reason.)
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To: Morgana
PC fail.

It should be Treb u chet to make it more worldly.

4 posted on 11/09/2018 8:00:30 PM PST by Deaf Smith (When a Texan takes his chances, chances will be taken that's fore sure)
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To: TigersEye

LOLOL!


5 posted on 11/09/2018 8:01:56 PM PST by Aria
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To: Morgana

Fire


6 posted on 11/09/2018 8:10:33 PM PST by W. (Just start shooting the bastards!)
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To: Morgana
Hey!

This was MY idea!

I came up with it years ago. I should demand royalties.

I will wave the royalties if they actually do it.

7 posted on 11/09/2018 8:13:02 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea is getting cold.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

When Trump was asking companies for wall demos why did you not suggest yours?


8 posted on 11/09/2018 8:19:03 PM PST by Morgana ( Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
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To: Morgana

Simple, yet elegant.


9 posted on 11/09/2018 8:19:34 PM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: Morgana
I sent in a model.

Then I had to spend a whole week trying to explain to the Secret Service that it was NOT a weapon of mass destruction.

They told me they passed it on but I am beginning to suspect they just stole my idea.

10 posted on 11/09/2018 8:22:21 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea is getting cold.)
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To: Morgana

I’m pretty sure this was suggested here on FR.


11 posted on 11/09/2018 8:32:42 PM PST by bigbob (Trust Trump. Trust the Plan.)
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To: bigbob; Chode

“I’m pretty sure this was suggested here on FR.”

That would not surprise me at the least


12 posted on 11/09/2018 8:41:11 PM PST by Morgana ( Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
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To: bigbob

Just have every illegal alien defendant stand in a launch basket that’s part of the hearing room.

“Press Button if Guilty”


13 posted on 11/09/2018 8:42:38 PM PST by Oscar in Batangas (12:01 PM 1/20/2017...The end of an error.)
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To: Morgana

Hoping they were hurling pumpkins on the edges of the razor wire.


14 posted on 11/09/2018 8:51:48 PM PST by Clint N. Suhks (Every time President Trump calls CNN fake news another hair falls off Brian Stelter's head.)
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To: Morgana
yup...


15 posted on 11/09/2018 9:11:40 PM PST by Chode ( We’re America, Bitch!)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
I’ve always been partial to trebuchets myself.

6 one and half a dozen another? Or 6 one and 8 another?

16 posted on 11/09/2018 10:00:52 PM PST by JockoManning (http://www.zazzle.com/brain_truth for hats T's e.g. STAY CALM & DO THE NEXT LOVING THING)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Just wave the royalties for common folks. Insist on double royalties for MS 13 gang members. LOL.


17 posted on 11/09/2018 10:02:29 PM PST by JockoManning (http://www.zazzle.com/brain_truth for hats T's e.g. STAY CALM & DO THE NEXT LOVING THING)
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To: Oscar in Batangas
Just have every illegal alien defendant stand in a launch basket that’s part of the hearing room.

“Press Button if Guilty”

You're getting into the real guffaw range. Imagining a long skylight that slides open sufficient length. An instantly inflatable hang glider for common folks and nothing for MS gang members.

Or, maybe, in keeping with the style of MS 13 gang members, have a huge foam pit for common folks, adjust the trajectory to a field of long sharp spikes for the MS 13 gang members. I would not lose sleep over it--well--not much. LOL.

18 posted on 11/09/2018 10:07:31 PM PST by JockoManning (http://www.zazzle.com/brain_truth for hats T's e.g. STAY CALM & DO THE NEXT LOVING THING)
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To: JockoManning

Hey Jocko,

Remind me never to get into a guffaw contest with you.
That was pretty fine.
Are you a mechanical, civil or aeronautical engineer?


19 posted on 11/09/2018 10:25:16 PM PST by Oscar in Batangas (12:01 PM 1/20/2017...The end of an error.)
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To: Chode

Mexican Space (De)Port ?


20 posted on 11/10/2018 3:35:31 AM PST by mabarker1 (Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!!)
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