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[satire] Death Penalty Still Permissible For People Who Drive Slowly In The Left Lane, Pope Francis
Babylon Bee ^
| 8/3/2018
| Uncredited
Posted on 08/03/2018 5:59:16 PM PDT by RightGeek
This is satire, but I could not fit it in the title.
VATICAN CITYFollowing his recent announcement that the Catholic Church no longer supports the use of the death penalty, Pope Francis clarified that it may still be applied to slow left-lane drivers. It almost goes without saying, the leader of the Church commented.
Whereas prior Church teaching allowed the death penalty in certain cases, the Catechism now teaches that the punishment is always impermissible. Except, said a Vatican spokesman, for those reprobate souls who just hang out in the left lane as if nobody else has anywhere to be.
....
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; fakenews; isthepopecatholic; notnews; roadtantrums; satire
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Pope Frankie can eat my shorts.
1
posted on
08/03/2018 5:59:16 PM PDT
by
RightGeek
To: RightGeek
Guess his popeship’s golf cart got caught in slow traffic in the left lane.
2
posted on
08/03/2018 6:01:15 PM PDT
by
SkyDancer
( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
To: RightGeek
F*** Francis. He’s a heretical ahole - and he’s not a legitimate pope.
3
posted on
08/03/2018 6:01:55 PM PDT
by
JME_FAN
(uired to)
To: RightGeek
Finally, something that this Pope and I agree on. :>)
4
posted on
08/03/2018 6:02:57 PM PDT
by
Ancesthntr
("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." A. E. van Vogt)
To: RightGeek
There is a concentration of them on I15 between LV and LA.
5
posted on
08/03/2018 6:08:08 PM PDT
by
deadrock
To: RightGeek
Oh no! Im a chatty Kathy in grocery store lines.
6
posted on
08/03/2018 6:09:31 PM PDT
by
HotKat
(Politicians are like diapers; they need to be changed often and for the same reason. Mark Twain)
To: RightGeek
I'm all for the death penalty for those who drive slow. I would also like to see the death penalty for those who take 20 items to the 10 item express lane at the supermarket, those 300 pound women in bikinis at the beach and of course those who mow the lawn at 6:30 Saturday morning.
7
posted on
08/03/2018 6:12:15 PM PDT
by
50mm
(-.. .-. .. -. -.- / --- ...- .- .-.. - .. -. . /)
To: RightGeek
Jokester Popester is a fraud, antichrist. Has this clown ever read the Bible?
8
posted on
08/03/2018 6:15:55 PM PDT
by
Fungi
To: 50mm
Scripture requires two or more witnesses ... so, yeah, early mowers would be screwed.
9
posted on
08/03/2018 6:16:04 PM PDT
by
Rurudyne
(Standup Philosopher)
To: Ancesthntr
I may convert to Catholicism now.
10
posted on
08/03/2018 6:19:05 PM PDT
by
Rebelbase
(Heaven has a wall and strict immigration policy. Hell has open borders--seen on a tee shirt)
To: RightGeek
The one which irritates me is when some jackass pulls right out in front of me then drives at a slow pace. He is obviously not in a hurry yet he makes me slam on brakes.
Actually women are worse about this than men.
11
posted on
08/03/2018 6:22:20 PM PDT
by
yarddog
To: SkyDancer
Well, I’m screwed. I drive slow in the left lane with my left blinker on all the time. Yup. That’s me. I’m that guy.
12
posted on
08/03/2018 6:22:35 PM PDT
by
jmacusa
(Made it Ma, top of the world!'')
To: jmacusa
13
posted on
08/03/2018 6:26:26 PM PDT
by
SkyDancer
( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
To: 50mm
I would also like to see the death penalty for those who take 20 items to the 10 item express lane at the supermarketA college student in Boston goes to the supermarket for groceries. By the end of his trip he's gotten fifteen items.
He goes up to the lane labeled "Express Checkout: 10 Items Or Less" and starts putting his purchases on the belt.
The cashier says, "So.....is your problem that you go to Harvard and can't count, or you go to MIT and can't read?"
To: RightGeek
So he’s not a pope but a late night comedian.
15
posted on
08/03/2018 6:29:30 PM PDT
by
reasonisfaith
("...because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved." (2 Thessalonians))
To: SkyDancer
Well, I'll be a watching. I'm not hard to spot. Big Buick Electra, blue, NJ tag. Still got the “Bush/Chenny’’ bumper sticker. And oh yeah, if you can see me I'm wearing Bermuda shorts, sleeveless white T shirt, black socks and black dress shoes. Yup, that's my look.
16
posted on
08/03/2018 6:31:57 PM PDT
by
jmacusa
(Made it Ma, top of the world!'')
To: DoodleBob
17
posted on
08/03/2018 6:32:11 PM PDT
by
50mm
(-.. .-. .. -. -.- / --- ...- .- .-.. - .. -. . /)
To: jmacusa
18
posted on
08/03/2018 6:37:41 PM PDT
by
yarddog
To: jmacusa
Remember the scene in Back To The Future where Biff ran into the back of that manure truck ... well in this case I’m driving the truck you just slammed into. LOL
19
posted on
08/03/2018 6:46:24 PM PDT
by
SkyDancer
( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
To: yarddog
20
posted on
08/03/2018 6:52:05 PM PDT
by
jmacusa
(Made it Ma, top of the world!'')
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