New Harry Potter book destroys precious rainforest(Borowitz becomes enviornmental)

http://www.jewishworldreview.com ^ | Andy Borowitz

[manny613]

The latest installment in the best-selling Harry Potter series, "Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince," has destroyed one of the most precious rainforests in the world, all of whose trees were felled to create the paper for the 652-page book.

[al baby]

Those books are made from recycled paper from all of al franken hillary clintons and bill clintons unsold books

[Mrs. Shawnlaw]

Did he write the same thing about the Clinton memoirs?

[knittnmom]

While bemoaning the destruction of the Dihing-Patkai rainforest, Ms. Spivak said that the Sierra Club was "pulling out all the stops" to keep similar ecological atrocities from occurring in the future: "We are doing everything in our power to keep Bill Clinton from writing another book."

LOL! Too bad this is satire, and not the truth!

[ElkGroveDan]

Besides, the rain forests are more useful for hardwood to be used in furniture. They make lousy pulp. Softwood trees like pines from the American continent are much better for paper.

[Ultra Sonic 007]

Notice how they sneak a 'global warming' in there.

PPPPPFFFFT. Nothing but a hoax. In the 70s, it was 'global cooling'. Now it's the opposite. What's next, 'global snowing?'

[joesnuffy]

Made a lot of people's money disappear from their wallets as well...

[weegee]

Those in the eco-pomp industry have snow jobs.

[weegee]

It's MAGIC.

[Little Pig]

I realize this is satire, but FWIW at the end of the book, the "about the author" section clearly states that the paper in the book contains "no fiber from ancient forests". Also as noted, the silviculture plantings of yellow pine and other pulpwood around the US are far better for paper manufacturing than some gigantic hardwood from south america (now, those redwoods and sequoias, on the other hand...jk)

[Frank_Discussion]

Global Spit Balls

[Nathan Zachary]

Whew! Good thing trees grow back! Plant some walker poplars, those suckers are ready to harvest in 10 years.

[Ultra Sonic 007]

Global liberalization.

Heil Kennedy! /sarc

[octobersky]

Good one.

[70times7]

(SPOILER) For all you Harry Potter fans, I just want to say this: Dumbledore is the one who dies, he is killed by Professor Snape.

No, I don’t know why. I didn't read the book , and I don’t intent to – don’t have the time or the inclination. It was fun posting this info, however…

Yes, I am a rotten guy, thank you very much.

[wideawake]

That was pretty amusing.

[al baby]

Pulp

[siunevada]

LOL! Too bad this is satire, and not the truth!

"Tell that to the Lesser Beautiful Nuthatch."

Love it!

[70times7]

Some trees are only good enough to be turned into toilet tissue...