Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes

Date: Now | Author: Me

[Lazamataz]

You know those pink coconut marshmallow cakes you find on convenience store shelves...? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, critical mass is reached and an explosion ensues.

The explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes per cake found on the shelf. This, in turn, causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours, when the cakes heat up again. This is known by Military EOD specialists and government teams dedicated to controlling these outbreaks, as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event (PCMCE).

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. They spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.

2. Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. All that happened is that they have millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.

3. Finally, a PCMCE occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

Note the specialist carefully handling this dangerous product. Please note he is aligning the dangerous cake with the polar magnetic lines. This tends to minimize the risk of a PCMCE.

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING!

[Veto!]

Somewhere there is a pink man shape wriggling horribly in mockery of human form!

You know him?

[Darksheare]

Or something like him.
Drives a truck, gives off inarticulate noises that could be mistaken for attempts at human speech.
Can’t navigate the roads worth beans.

[null and void]

That has the l00k and c0rniness of a w00t! T-shirt.

It is a Woot! shirt.

One I own and wear proudly...

[Veto!]

Yeah, that’s him. Votes dimocrat. Leaves strange pink kukunut dregs on voting booth floor. They all do.

[NoCmpromiz]

Drives a truck, gives off inarticulate noises that could be mistaken for attempts at human speech. Can’t navigate the roads worth beans.

Skilled at misinterpreting GPS commands. And invariably looks for Home Depot in all the wrong places.

[NoCmpromiz]

So this is THE new UT thread?

Only if the moving van has appeared at the previous location.

In the meantime, enjoy one of our instructional videos..

How to Quickly Peel a Boiled Egg in a Glass of Water

Beats being subsumed by pink coconut marshmallow cakes..

[BlueDragon]

No, not butter. Crisco.

I'll take;

What do fat ladies, Sno-Balls & waterbeds have to do with one another, for $200, Alex...

[PROCON]

You know, in my 6+ decades of acquired knowledge, I never knew how easy it was to peel a boiled egg until today.

I stand in awe of the UT thread bearers and am ready to learn more stuff I didn't know.

Of course, I hope you appreciate my contribution too......

How NOT to parallel park your car

[right way right]

Hostess it seems should rethink this practice of placing two sno-balls per package, surely this increases each individual items nuclear horniness level or something like that....Baahh, too much ol no.7 again.....

[NoCmpromiz]

Hardest part of watching that dude not-park his car was that it was a GTO. I never had any problem with my '64...

in my 6+ decades of acquired knowledge,

Not wishing to admit that I may know something about 6 decades of acquired trivia ('cause that's what it ultimately is..) I will say that I am five years older than my baby Sister. And she's 29.

But it sure was easier being 34 thirty years ago...

Hanging around the Undead you WILL learn many new and wondrous things. However, the ultimate utility of that knowledge has not been documented.

There was an attempt sometime ago now to document all the new revealed knowledge to be kept in the Undead Annals but the historical archivist in charge of the project wandered to the lower levels in search of more data and has not been seen since.

[NoCmpromiz]

Just what is this evil thing doing?

[RichInOC]

What about yellowcake?

[Slings and Arrows]

Ask Joe Wilson.

[Rockitz]

You’ve obviously seen “Big Hero 6” way too many times. I know I have. ;o)

[Lazamataz]

I was NOT going to ping you all, but now I have to.

Google apparently digs my work. :)

Type 'nanobot grey fog' in the search engine. The fourth entry is this FR article.

If it's good enough for Google, it's good enough for you.

The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
290 Satisfied Customers!™

[Lazamataz]

JR, kristinn, check this, above. You never know what’s gonna tickle Google’s fancy. :)

[Berlin_Freeper]

tweeted

[TheOldLady]

Thank you for the warning post and ping to the thread, Sweetie Pie...
Uh, I mean PCMCE researcher saving the world and maybe the entire universe!!

[Vendome]

LOL!!!

That’s just stupid...

LOL

[LambSlave]

LoL.