Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Can’t really help you with this one.
Can’t find anything even remotely similar in history.
Have faith in your fellow countrymen to do the right thing.
All we can do is Hope and Pray.
Hope you have a good night! We just got home from the gym.
We made it through the Civil War. I was just looking at some pictures today at National Review while playing Johnny Cash songs on Youtube. So many young boys looking quite foolish in their uniforms ...
Which of your young boys had the gumption to tell Miss Kathleen, "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a darn"?
I know Jake wanted to be Colonel Mosby.
Jake can leap a high fence and is quite a successful guerrilla.
I think it would take John Wayne to put Kathleen in her place.
Fortunately, you never named any of your children “John Wayne Something-Something”.
That would have been a curse that could not be removed. One of the corollaries of Bob’s Rules of Nicknames is that if your name is John Wayne Anything, your life will never be a peaceful one.
There is a kid in a high school near me that has the first name Thankyougod. (I saw it in their local paper on the sports page)
He likes to be known as TG.
.
There is power in naming. Choose wisely.
I used to like reading the honor rolls from the local schools in a paper just to check out the original names.
My cousin on the better-than-you side of the family is named Anthony Wayne, after the Revolutionary War general.
Anent yesterday's discussion of Cthulhu vs. SMOD.
That cat looks more liked its stuned rather than shocked.
And I’m stuned to be up so early — on a Satiddy, when there isn’t even any news at this hour that I can get on the TV. *sigh*
So I’ll go to Wally’s in a bit.
74, partly cloudy, WNW @ 4, 66% *ick* And I have no idea what today will be like. The weather page says 30% rain, but who knows for sure? Two days ago, it was a “10% or less” chance of rain and we had a valley-wide gully washer.
I heart dat blue-eyed fing!
Morning.
The Dust bunnies put basement Cat up to it.
To be honest, the Cat would have a large voter base.
Good morning, epople.
I have made meat sauce, but I won’t start cooking the noodles until after 0800 EDT. Also, I’m thawing the discount bread and desserts I gathered over the last week.
That is how Kittens catch their favourite prey....human hands.
It’s a trap.
Yes, kittens are very deceptive!
:-)
We have a new word: Epople.
Definition: People whom you mainly only interact with via electronic means.
Not new ... got it from Darksheare.
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