Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I’ll check my supply of trite adages and see what else I can come up with. Of course, the one(s) I select may be apropos of nothing, but they will be better than...
Tom! Too Tall? Then he shall be officially Too Tall Tom. He must be ginormous to the Princess of Evil.
I just had my first ulcer cocktail of the day, with one to go. While I was at Walmart this morning, I saw a little bag of petite bananas, and though they were a little more expensive than the others, they are the perfect size for one ulcer cocktail.
I’ve been trying to get the smallest I could find, and use a half in each cocktail, but I often can’t find the small ones that are green enough to last two days. This will be a test as to how quickly they ripen compared to the others. I hate wasting bananas, but if I can’t find the smaller ones, I end up throwing away a third of a banana. (I only buy two bananas at a time, normally.)
LoL,
That’s funny... :)
But at least for translating Babble you can get a fish...
..or a band.
Yes I know they spell it diffidently.
I just spent the last 45 minutes drafting a letter to James, my grandson who is on a mission. I promised him I would write every week, and send him a gift card as often as I could. That’s working out to once a month, of course.
I’ve only gotten one letter from him, but that’s OK: I know he’s very busy. They only have one day off a week, and it isn’t Sunday!
This morning, I took some “stuff” up to the community room to donate it, and the sun was shining and there was no wind. So I thought, “why don’t I head for the ramada and wait for Charlie to come out?” I no sooner thought that than I walked out the door and was his by a blast of wind right off Mt Charleston! *sheesh*
So I came in, changed my jacket to the longer coat-with-no-zipper, grabbed a bottle of water and headed for the table. I sat there about 10 minutes before Charlie showed up.
We were there about 15 minutes when my loud-mouth neighbor Cindy showed up with her dog, Angel, and in another 10 minutes, Berta-the-hugger came up. She was outclassed and left in about 10 minutes. Then it was my turn to say I was cold enough, thank you, and headed home.
Exciting day at Hooterville Junction!
So right you are, NoC! Have you dug out from the Glob-Al Warmthing?
LOL
Isn’t that “Crazy Eyes” from “Orange is the New Black”?
Aha! Miss Kitten in my Weight Watchers meeting is a retired Home Ec. teacher, and one day she gave us all a lot of tips about produce. One was that, to make your bananas last, you cut the stems off as close as you can get without exposing the banana. Then you put it in the refrigerator. The skins will still darken, but the banana will be fine.
That’s good news to know. Thanks!
If I had paper bags (lunch sacks) I could use them for refrigerating bananas, but this sounds like a very good idea.
It is still a stellar day outside, but I am in for the night. One of my neighbors who since moved to an assisted living complex, left a couple of plastic lawn/patio chairs in her patio. She had marked them with “13-A” so when someone took them walkabout, they ended up back in her patio.
The person who moved in after she moved out, passed away within two months of moving in. The chairs sat there ever since. I talked to Charlie today and told him I was going to take them, since Myrtle wouldn’t object! So now, I have five patio chairs to seat all the folks who want another beer and pizza party in the coming warm months. The last time, we were one chair short.
If I can’t buy the pizza, beer or wine, I can at least furnish the patio, the table and the chairs! :o])
They have to not be touching each other.
The bananas, I mean. Not the neighbors.
LOL!!! I was just going to ask: The bananas or the neighbors? :o])
THAT is FUNNY!
Well, you see it's like this..
A coupla days ago I fueled up and fired up the Olde Deere to make sure it was functional. At that time the Olde Deere started up with it's usual murmuring and complaining (assorted pops and sputters before final ignition are the norm and let me know it will start after a few more tugs on the rope.) I repaired a minor issue with the discharge chute (minor in that it was falling off - one of the three clamping devices would not retain its screws.) Being secure on only two points created an insecure attachment so I took the clamping device with the stripped out threads and clearanced the hole with my trusty drillthing to allow putting the 8-32 screwthing through it and putting a nut on the back side. So I was ready for the bigstorm. Or so I thought.. Last night as the snow was winding down and the weather radar image assured me that any further snow fall would be minimal, I ventured out to my trusty shed with the new skin and - wait a minute, background info needed..
I did mention that I reskinned my shed? After six years the original skin was somewhat compromised by UV from that glowing gasorb in the sky and beyond the ability of Gorilla Tape to mend so I procured a newskin from the ShelterLogic folks. Unfortunately between the removing of the oldskin and the installation of the newskin several days passed in which the RedRidingthing and the Olde Deere sat out in the weather. And it rained. The equipment was under a tarp so that should not have been a problem. But for the wind. It blew the tarp off the handle of the Olde Deere - and nothing else. In the handle of the Olde Deere are various thingies that happen to have a bit to do with allowing the Briggs-Stratton to start. Or more exactly to protect you from your own stupidity if you were started and did something stupid. There's the ignition on-off switch, the auger control lever with a switch, the throttle control with a switch that shuts it off if moved to a hair below minimum rpm, and the paddle switches that bypass the auger control switch when you are actually blowing snow. If any of these switches does not make up, it kills the magneto and you die (if running) or you don't start (if not running.) The other day when I started the beast the temp was close to 40° F and it started. I noted at the time that it was 'missing' and that jostling the auger engagement lever or holding one of the paddle switches made it quit missing. So I filed that info for action at a future time along with the suspicion that the auger control switch was in need of contact burnishing or something along those lines. But since it started, I figured it was something that could wait until the round tuit arrived. Now back to the story.
So I open the 'door' of my shedthing and tie it up with the ball-cord. I maneuver the Olde Deere to a position that affords room to yank on the starter rope, turn the fuel valve on, push the prime button the recommended five times and yank on the rope. And yank on the rope. And yank on the rope. No murmurings. No complainings. No pops. No sputters. Nada. My suspicion is that one or more of those switches that kill the magneto are doing just that courtesy of moisture from the rain that is now solidified due to outdoor temps being in the 29° range.. ;-) So.. I didn't manage to clear my drive using the Olde Deere.
But wait..
This morning, as I was showering for Church, Dearwife stuck her head in the door and informed me that "Bill and George are plowing the drive.." It's nice to live in the country with real country folk as neighbors (instead of transplanted Gothamites and their criminal offspring who wouldn't give a rats rump.. ;-)
So to the original question, No, I have not dug out. But I have been dug out..
... or they’ll get slimy.
*whew*
I am very glad that you have real neighbors instead of “ignernt pukes” who have no clue.
I’m praying for you all! *hugs*
I’m off to bed, now. It’s been a decidedly strange day, and I don’t need to repeat it.
Have a good night! And maybe by the end of this coming week, I’ll be able to drink some more of the Pink Drink without too much damage to the ulcer container.
:o])
It is profoundly to be hoped that you will enjoy some Pink Drink next week.
I can’t go to bed for another couple of hours ;-).
Already happening here. Neighbors ready to place a bounty on one particular clown...man ought to be very careful in the fall running his wood chipper, those things can be dangerous....just kidding.
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