Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Great moments in home education. What if Poe had written a famous poem about a crow?
Dat crow come in and he say, “Yo!
Why you sittin’ there like Joe Blow?
When you gonna get up an’ go?
Dat Lenore ho daid, bro!”
Watnooz from New Delhi?
Watnooz from New Delhi?
Sorry - I have the hiccups.
Hold your breath.
LOL!
brilliant!
Tom came up with the last line.
All I know is that the laptop was delivered on Monday. Not a word from New Dellhi, otherwise.
And I don’t know how long I can nurse this one along.
Finally - A practical answer to the puzzle of long life.
Wine is not the only drink good for you.
Interview with 101 year-old Hattie McDonald of Moose Jaw, Sask:
Reporter: Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101?
Hattie: For better digestion I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss I drink white wine. For low blood pressure I drink Red Wine. In the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch. And when I have a cold I drink Schnapps.
Reporter: When do you drink water?
Hattie: I’ve never been that sick.
I’m losing track. Was this the package with the laptop or the “special” package?
LOL!!!
I’ll have to remember that recipe! :o]
...seems like somebody should make that list into a needle point pattern for pillows and wall plaques and such.
LOL!
Now there’s a thought! I was ever good at drafting needlepoint or crossword canvases, though I did try several times! I think my ADHD was at work, though it was called “scatterbrain” back then... ;o]
We didn't get enough of that snowstuff to make miniHimalayas but about 20 kilometers South they got 30cm, and further into NJ they had over 60cm..
We have the liquid glowbull warming falling. It was falling aroung sunrise. It is falling now. The hourly thingie on the not-necessarily-Accu(rate)-Weather-service says it will continue into the 2100 hour time slot.
But now they have popped up that red 'warning-you-are-all-gonnna-die' notice of 'local flooding advisory'. I'll worry about that when I note the eastern field reflecting the sunlight..
That will indicate that instead of two small ponds in that once-cow-pasture I have one BIG pond..
Glad to be of service. Trust you didn’t lose too much ale out your nostrils... ;-)
(Yes - that old joke was ‘enhanced’ with the addition of the pic. Provides the necessary visual. ;-)
Squelched my way thru the newly created “wetlands” down to the creek, which was running full and fast and will flow over it’s banks. (elev. -65ft from me). It used to flood the lane and half bridge with knee high parapet. Now that crossing has a divided roadway spanning it. Looking back, we should have put a draw bridge. Curses!
Newly created wetlands, eh..
The eastern field (thus named purely for convenience as it really is the southeastern field due to the house sited parallel to the road which does not run true East-West) is wetlands most of the time as a rivulet runs through it from the swamp to the nominal North and eventually into the Hudson via several ever widening watercourses. Most of the time it is just mostlymud. Last time it got to the One Big Pond status was in the aftermath of Sandy..
The locals named the swamp ‘Bear Swamp’ for reasons that become obvious if you live here.
If your creek can be reclassified as a moat, maybe there is some FHA program for a drawbridge loan.. ;-)
I seen to have acquired a lapcat.
Problem is, he knows how to cat, but doesn’t know how to lap. All he knows is sprawl.
I have no crew. My fuddle seems slightly brained today.
I like the idea of the FHA drawbridge loan. I might even be able for EPA assistance due to a deep scour pool that must have more than a thousand golf balls from a driving range about eight miles up stream. Every other year or so usually pull two or three small buckets, 50-60 each, for golfing friends. That range has been around for more than 20 years. Have yet to find the bottom layer. LOL
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