Who is ready for silliness?
Posted on 04/15/2016 5:44:38 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
In before 5.
Top ten!
I didn’t see the moon last night, therefore it doesn’t exist
Good Morning!
:-)
WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF!!!
Ultimate silliness: Today is the day the government has set aside for you to send in a very large portion of your earnings for redistribution, so everybody pony up their fair share! How else are the dims going to buy votes?
Happy Friggday!!! d:^)
Happy friday!!!
Happy friday!!!
Happy friday!!!
Happy friday!!!
Rollo is here with the rest of the beer theories:
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.! ~ W. C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. ~ Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can! ~ Leo Durocher
A friend is like a good bra... hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always lifts you up, never lets you down or leaves you hanging and is always close to your heart!!!
A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the university: "I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die."
And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When their father's time had come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.
First, it was the doctor who put 10 $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.
Then, came the financial planner, who also put $1,000 there.
Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash.
He later went on to become a member of Congress.
I never send chain letters, but this one works.
You will be offered sex by simply passing it on! It's easy and INCREDIBLE!
Send 'OBAMA LOVES YOU' to ten recipients.
At least 9 will reply telling you to go f**k yourself.
I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs, so we are now looking to find her a new home.
She is 39 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, is a great cook, and keeps a good house. Make your best offer.
TOP 15???
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before
Practice safe eating - always use condiments
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy
A hangover is the wrath of grapes
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired
What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under
Every calendar's days are numbered
A lot of money is tainted -Taint yours and taint mine
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat
He had a photographic memory that was never developed
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses
Acupuncture is a jab well done
TOP 20! YAY!!!!
I plan to visit the White House daily, starting the afternoon of January 20, 2017. I imagine my visits going like this:
January 20, 2017 - “May I go in and see Barack Hussein Obama.”
Marine: “Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer in the White House. A patriotic President lives here now.”
January 21, 2017 - “May I go in and see Mr. Obama.”
Marine: “Sir, as I told you yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer in the White House. We have a capable Commander-in-Chief now.”
January 22, 2017 - “May I go in and see Mr. Obama.”
Marine: “Sir, as I told you two days in a row, Mr. Obama is no longer in the White House. A republican is the leader of the free world again. Why do you keep coming back?”
“I just like hearing that we finally have an American in the White House.”
Marine (saluting): “Yes, Sir! I will see you tomorrow, Sir!”
i actually defended obama the other day.. a friend told me that obama wasn’t fit to lick the shit off of his boots.. i said”oh yes he is!”
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