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DUmmie FUnnies 01-15-10 (Pied Piper Pitt Plays Pretend Pundit in MA Senate Race)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 15, 2010 | William Rivers Pitt and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/15/2010 5:47:02 PM PST by PJ-Comix

Mumsy and Daddy invested some big bucks in your trust fund and what do you have to show for it? Other than heavily investing in "liquid assets" at Bukowski's and shelling out of pocket for vanity press books that only a few friends read, not much. Oh sure, there was that big Hail Mary pass on May 12, 2006 that looked like a sure thing. Unfortunately Karl Rove was NOT indicted and with his non-indictment any chance that the political establishment would take you seriously went up in smoke. Yes, if the indictment had happened William Rivers Pitt would be (in his own mind) now holding court with the national press at some fine dining restaurant in Boston, pontificating on the state of the Senate race between Scott Brown and Martha Coakley. Unfortunately for Pitt, he forever ruined his potential pundit career and can now only play pretend pundit for a bunch of sanity-challenged DUmmies as you can see in his THREAD, "Red Mass?" So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt pontificate on the race to the DUmmie asylum in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting Pitt's permanent sideline status, is in the [brackets]:

Red Mass?

[A religious ritual performed by KENNEDY CATHOLICS?]

The nature of modern American politics has been off-the-wall weird for a dozen years now. We've seen a president impeached for lying about sex. We've seen another president who was selected instead of elected in an orgiastic festival of Florida and federal fraud. We saw an administration use the darkest day in our history as an excuse to scare us, spy on us, steal from us and start false wars in our name. We've seen a vice president go on national television and advocate the benefits and blessings of torture. We came within an eyelash of seeing the first woman president elected in this still-misogynist nation, and did see the first African-American president elected in this still-racist nation.

[We did see Karl Rove indicted within 24 business hours of May 12, 2006.]

Those are just the big-ticket items. It is almost impossible to quantify the political mayhem that has broken loose during the last several years, and after all of it, you start to think that maybe you've seen it all. How much more deranged can it really get?

[Deranged enough to think you could Hail Mary yourself into fame with a fraudulent journalistic scoop.]

Well.

[Will.]

The open US Senate seat for Massachusetts, held since 1962 by the late liberal icon Edward M. Kennedy, could be filled on Tuesday by an outrageously hard-right Republican named Scott Brown if the voting breaks his way.

[The sacred Ted Kennedy seat. It doesn't belong to the people. It belongs to a certain aristocracy.]

Seriously.

[Are you cereal?]

A seat that has been in Democratic hands since God was in short pants could flip to the GOP after the special election to fill Kennedy's vacant seat takes place next week. Not to some sanded-down version of a Republican, mind you, but a real rock-ribbed fire-breathing right winger. GOP candidate Scott Brown enthusiastically endorses the use of torture, is anti-choice, against stem cell research, and once sponsored an amendment that would have let emergency room workers turn away rape victims if said workers had religious objections to giving those victims emergency contraception should they request it.

[Scott Brown enthusiastically endorses the use of torture? That must mean he favors forcing prisoners to read you PERFORM ENDLESS "PENITENCE" AT DUMMIE CANOSSA when you wrote volumes to deliver a partial birth non-apology.]

This guy - this guy - could take Teddy Kennedy's seat. That a man like this is even within shouting distance of winning a true-blue Massachusetts Senate seat is eloquent proof that the world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad.

[This guy - this guy who is so ordinary as to not live off a trust fund - could take Teddy Kennedy's seat. That a common man dare come within shouting distance of the sacred Kennedy seat is eloquent proof that our formerly aristocratic world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad. ...and now to the DUmmie Peanut Gallery.]

I hope that people will get scared enough to go out & send Mr Hunk packing..

[The press already sent Mr Pitt packing.]

will, what's your gut take on who's going to win?

[Will, please play pretend pundit for the DUmmies.]

As of yesterday, Coalkey is up by 8. Turnout is everything, and there's no way to predict.

[Freudenschade, baby! The Coakley camp can now break out the victory champagne given Pitt's track record as a pundit.]

Obama and his bill are toxic in this state. Gawd help us.

[Your Kewpie Doll is in the mail!]

This is what happened in the VA Governors race. Dem base are discouraged, not turning out the vote.

[If the polling station is Bukowski's, you can be sure Pitt will turn out.]

A confession from your Mother....... I campaigned for Eddie McCormick in the primary against Teddy in 1962. I was almost disowned. :-) Now, all these years later, I have acquired some wisdom...If I was back in Massachusetts I would walk a hundred miles in a blzzard to cast my vote for the Democrat even if that Democrat was the Devil herself.

[That was DUmmie Raven, the trust fund providing mumsy of Will. And don't worry about no longer living in Massachussets, Ma. ACORN can cast a vote their for you.]

It's going to be a political earthquake.

[Not to be confused with a Haitian earthquake.]

You expect Kansas to elect a BROWNback, but not Mass.

[You expect Mass to elect a BROKEback.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; pitt; scottbrown; williamriverspitt; willpitt
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To: PJ-Comix
Mother Pitt, DUmmie Raven, checks in . . .

A confession from your Mother.......I campaigned for Eddie McCormick in the primary against Teddy in 1962. I was almost disowned. Now, all these years later, I have acquired some wisdom...

[Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."]

If I was back in Massachusetts I would walk a hundred miles in a blzzard to cast my vote for the Democrat even if that Democrat was the Devil herself.

[Hey, they elected Devil Patrick, didn't they?]

21 posted on 01/15/2010 6:24:31 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Practicing Pittologist)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Wearily, I must ask.

Link on next comment below, but here’s a condensation:


I’ve been watching Skins’s island like a hawk, since the news broke yesterday (Thursday) about a colleague of the Bostonian Drunkard getting into some, uh, trouble.

There’s been some campfires on Skins’s island about the matter, but conspicuous by his non-presence is the one who knows the former arms-inspector better than anybody else on Skins’s island, and out here in the civilized world.

When one’s pal is in trouble, one is morally and socially obligated to stick up for him.

Otherwise, one’s about as false and fake as a Bela Pelosi promise.

One’s lower than dog excresence on the ground, if one doesn’t stand up for a pal.


Well, you know, sir, we’ve all had friends who at one time or another did something really stupid or unhonest or depraved or just plain ridiculous.

A gentleman makes no excuses for such a friend, a gentleman does not try to justify those acts, a gentleman does not ignore those things.....but at the same time, a gentleman does not abandon a bosom pal.

This is a clear-cut black-and-white issue; either Mr. Wm. Pitt is a gentleman, or Mr. Wm. Pitt is an ungrateful sleazeball who doesn’t deserve any better than what he gives.

This is a prime opportunity for Mr. Wm. Pitt to show us he can be a gentleman.


Actually, one wonders if there’s something else going on under the surface.

When the Bostonian Drunkard and the discredited arms-inspector jointly wrote that book, the latter writing 84% of it, while the former bore the expenses of having it published, the latter walked away with the revenues.

Oh my.


22 posted on 01/15/2010 6:24:51 PM PST by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives, in service to humanity)
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To: franksolich

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,39228.0.html


23 posted on 01/15/2010 6:25:16 PM PST by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives, in service to humanity)
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To: GQuagmire

Nah, William Rivers Pitt, offspring of mama Raven, is the perv co-author of the perv weapons inspector.


24 posted on 01/15/2010 6:27:36 PM PST by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards,com)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I do not want to hear his voice.


25 posted on 01/15/2010 6:28:23 PM PST by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards,com)
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To: GQuagmire
Who else.
26 posted on 01/15/2010 6:28:36 PM PST by Little Bill (Carol Che-Porter is a MOONBAT.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I'll just do a mini-DUFU within your DUFU!

Woah...this is groundbreaking stuff! Unprecedented even, as Tommy Teleprompter might say over and over and over again.

27 posted on 01/15/2010 6:34:32 PM PST by beans36 (Obama: The Wonderful Wizard of 'Uhs')
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To: Little Bill; GeronL; franksolich

Pitt is the gift that keeps on giving.....What a maroon!


28 posted on 01/15/2010 6:38:34 PM PST by GQuagmire ( Angry Scrubwoman: Martha Coakley)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...
PING 2.0! Besides Pitt's thread (see posts #18 and #21), this is the other DUmmie thread I was working on when PJ posted. More "DUFU within a DUFU"! It's a Double DUFU! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

The DUmmies are hitting the PANIC button over the Brown-Coakley race in Massa . . . Massa-something. Oh, yeah, that's one of the incredibly inept things Martha Coakley has done in this race: She ran an ad that misspelled the name of the state she wants to represent! Add that to a long list of blunders from this unlikeable, arrogant, aloof Democrat candidate, which could cause her to lose the safest of safe seats in the bluest of blue states. And so the Left is in Ultra-Panic Mode!

Yes, Martha Chokely could LOSE "Ted Kennedy's seat," and that would be quite a feat. All week the polls have been going more and more in the direction of Republican Scott Brown, and now the Dems are realizing they could lose not only that seat, but with it their super-majority in the Senate. And, if MASSACHUSETTS, of all places, goes Red, what does that portend for November??

Martha assumed she could just coast in because she has a "D" by her name. So she didn't bother to do any real campaigning. In the one debate she finally agreed to do, she came off poorly in comparison with Brown. The other day she tried to duck a reporter's question, and her big union thug handler put a body check into the guy, knocking him down and then blocking him from getting near her. Unfortunately, this incident was caught on film, and it even shows Martha seeing what happened, although she tried to deny it. And now she has insulted the vast Catholic population of Massachusetts by saying that they should not be able to work in hospital emergency rooms, since their church opposes abortion. If this were American Idol, Martha Chokely would make the highlight reel of bad auditions.

Add to that the Mass appeal of Scott Brown AND the unpopularity of what Obama and the Dems are doing in DC, and it spells P-A-N-I-C, G-L-O-O-M, and D-O-O-M! Witness this THREAD, "If Coakley Loses, Expect Massive Dems Losses Later This Year."

So let us now sample the distress of the DUmmies, in Blue-Turning-Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, guarding his optimism with the knowledge that this IS Massachusetts, after all, is in the [brackets]:

If Coakley Loses, Expect Massive Dems Losses Later This Year

[Massive-lose-seats.]

A Coakley loss in Mass. is a sign that the Dem base is demoralized whilst the conservative base is energized.

[Martha Chokely: Putting the "Dem" in "Demoralized."]

Ever since 2006, the Dems, in particular the Congressional Dems, have done little or nothing about effectuating real change. It started with "take impeachment of Bush off the table". . . .

[Of course! That's it! Martha needs to launch her last-minute Chimpeachment push! A sure winner!]

a Coakley loss will embolden the Tea Party crowd and conservatives.

[You read the Tea leaves correctly.]

special elections are often funky and Coakley has run an awful campaign and blew a 30-point lead.

[Her campaign is in a Blew State.]

Workers have gotten laid off en masse from government institution including but not limited to MassPort, MasDOT, Boston Housing . . .

[En masse in Mass.]

. . . Department of Mental Retardation, Department of Mental Health as well as a state run Mental Hospital.

[Traditional Democrat strongholds.]

There is a lot of anger and folks feeling alienated here. . . . Coakly loses, it will be more due to voter feeling left out in the cold.

[Things go bitter with Coak.]

I doubt Coakly loses though.

[Well, you do have the SEIU Purpleshirts, the Gay State GLBTers, and the 130% turnout precincts, so you may be right.]

it might mean she's run a weak campaign and some people liked his nude Cosmo photos.

[Is that you, Bawney Fwank?]

Why don't you blame Obama? He's the one who took impeachment off the table.

[IMPEACH OBAMA NOW!]

Between Obama, Reid, and Pelosi, we have the most lackluster, lightweight bunch of Democratic leaders imaginable.

[And Coakley has managed to out-lackluster and out-lightweight them!]

This isnt just any old seat, this was Kennedey's for decades.

[A Bridge to the 1960s.]

I very much hope for Martha Coakley to win on Tuesday.

[Canny Coakley will hit the target!]

GO, MARTHA!

[GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE! QUIT MESSING THINGS UP!]

From down here, it looks like the real problem is Coakley and crew winging it thinking she can cakewalk into the seat and getting a rude awakening when Brown throws everything into his campaign. (Moderately charismatic underdog working his ass off to beat boring favorite-- what movie plot is this?)

[The Unthinkable Manly Brown?]

Opinions are like armpits...Everybody has them, most of them stink.

[Speaking of smelly Pitts, let's check in with the Bostonian Drunkard . . .]

- - - - -

And from there I picked up the Pitt thread.

29 posted on 01/15/2010 6:43:18 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (It's a Double DUFU!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Wow. Can we start counting again?


30 posted on 01/15/2010 6:48:21 PM PST by Mercat (With all due respect . . . this is the people's seat.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

>>[Traditional Democrat strongholds.] <<

I spewed.


31 posted on 01/15/2010 6:51:17 PM PST by netmilsmom (I am Ilk)
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To: Mercat
Wow. Can we start counting again?

You're FITTTATSP (First In The Top Ten After The Second Ping).

32 posted on 01/15/2010 6:51:18 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (It's a Double DUFU!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Martha outdoes herself.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2429604/posts


33 posted on 01/15/2010 6:51:30 PM PST by GQuagmire ( Angry Scrubwoman: Martha Coakley)
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To: Charles Henrickson
http://www.marthacoakley.com/blog/details/neighbor

You can make calls from home for Martha Coakley!!!

great idea!!!


34 posted on 01/15/2010 6:52:55 PM PST by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards,com)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Finally validation!!!!!


35 posted on 01/15/2010 6:54:24 PM PST by Mercat (With all due respect . . . this is the people's seat.)
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To: Little Bill
Right here. Prices start at $0.01. But it's overpriced.

http://www.amazon.com/War-Iraq-What-Team-Doesnt/dp/1893956385/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263610373&sr=1-4

36 posted on 01/15/2010 6:58:24 PM PST by Cheburashka (It's a _happy_ Russian novel. Everybody still dies, but everybody dies happy.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Can there ever be too much DUFU???

I don’t think so!


37 posted on 01/15/2010 7:03:59 PM PST by luvie (DIMs?......start packin'--you're fired!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
You're FITTTATSP (First In The Top Ten After The Second Ping).

There sure is a lot of alphabet soup around here today, lol.

38 posted on 01/15/2010 8:05:08 PM PST by rdl6989 (January 20, 2013 The end of an error.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Scott Brown is hard right?


39 posted on 01/15/2010 8:16:03 PM PST by Ballygrl
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix

Speaking of William Pitt, has he mentioned his pedophile butt buddy and coauthor Scott Ritter’s recent arrest?


40 posted on 01/15/2010 8:16:22 PM PST by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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