Sluggish Economy Blamed on Lazy Americans

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Sluggish Economy Blamed on Lazy Americans
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 18 Nov 2011 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/18/2011 9:23:31 PM PST by John Semmens

In his continuing quest to find the “real killers” of America’s prosperity, President Obama is now testing out the idea that laziness lies at the root of the prolonged recession we’re in.

“Look, we in government have been going all out trying to get the economy moving,” the president told an audience of campaign supporters. “In the last two years the federal government has spent more than it ever has before. We’ve generously handed out money left and right. We’ve added new guidelines and procedures to virtually every segment of industry in an effort to direct businesses toward a more fruitful utilization of the nation’s resources. I mean, it’s been a tireless effort on our part to get things moving.”

“In contrast, what has the private sector done?” Obama asked. “Consumers won’t spend. Businesses won’t invest. This is despite a massive increase in the money supply from the Fed that has made borrowing very inexpensive. The private sector is just not doing its part.”

“Pure laziness is about the best face I can put on the private sector’s failure to cooperate,” the president speculated. “People apparently just don’t care enough about what I’m trying to do for this country to put forth the effort I need to make the recovery work.”

The president indicated that “some of my advisors are urging me to take sterner measures. They say that the problem lies in relying upon voluntary compliance with the government’s incentives and encouragement. They counsel more direct instructions, narrower tolerances for deviations, and stiffer penalties for disobedience. I hope it won’t have to come to that, but I can wait too much longer for results.”

In related news, former President Bill Clinton’s new book—Back to Work: Why We Need Smart Government for a Strong Economy—called for higher taxes and spending to reviveAmerica’s faltering economy. “The idea that we can sit back and wait for the economy to get back to work on its own makes no sense,”Clintonwrote. “It’s time that the president tells Americans to get their lazy butts off the couch and mow the lawn or there’ll be no allowance this week. Unless government takes firmer control over everyone’s purse strings I don’t see how we can hope to get the country on the right track.”