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Al Gore Becomes a Priest, Says He Will Build an Ark
The Daily Rash ^ | unknown | Mark Donahue

Posted on 09/17/2012 4:23:48 PM PDT by HollyW

WASHINGTON – During an appearance on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews, Al Gore revealed that prior to divorcing his wife Tipper, he was ordained a Catholic priest. He added that he plans to spend the rest of his life listening to confessions “before the impending global warming apocalypse kills everyone on the planet.”

A surprised Chris Matthews asked the former vice president why he chose the priesthood.

“I can’t really explain why,” Gore replied. “I guess a big part of it is that I really love wearing the priest suit and listening to people tell me their secrets. I first experienced it a few years ago in a very poor South American village. Tipper and I traveled there to convince people that they would die in ten years if they didn’t give us money to stop global warming. Since nobody in the village had a dime to spare, I decided to spend the two days I had left to act out a fantasy I’d always had — to be a priest and listen to confessions.”

Mr. Gore paused and then smiled.

“I’ll tell you, after three or four confessions I was hooked. I mean, I couldn’t stop! I must have heard a hundred confessions that first day and two hundred the next. Tipper was so irritated that she went home early.”

(Excerpt) Read more at thedailyrash.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Politics; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: algore; algorepriest; ark; globalwarming; manbearpig; tippergore
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To: HollyW
And in other news...Biden Says Department of Homeland Security Crawling with Lesbians
21 posted on 09/17/2012 5:15:16 PM PDT by Tainan (Cogito, ergo conservatus sum)
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To: HollyW

kudos...rof


22 posted on 09/17/2012 5:19:25 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: HollyW

Somebody beat him to the building of the Ark. I’m not sure any religion would want him as a priest, especially since he flunked out of seminary school. Of course knowing Al, he probably thought it was a school that studied semen.


23 posted on 09/17/2012 5:27:40 PM PDT by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: bigbob

Was he an Ordain Preist when he was found in that massage parlor?


24 posted on 09/17/2012 5:49:48 PM PDT by castlegreyskull
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To: HollyW
Interestingly enough, in real life, Algore actually FLUNKED OUT of seminary school!

Mark

25 posted on 09/17/2012 5:51:11 PM PDT by MarkL (Do I really look like a guy with a plan?)
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To: HollyW

There are certain titles that when seen, must be read... This is one of them...

lol...


26 posted on 09/17/2012 5:51:51 PM PDT by Popman (In a place you only dream of Where your soul is always free)
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To: COBOL2Java

Holy crap! Just add glasses, and you’ve got Michael Moore!

Mark


27 posted on 09/17/2012 5:52:55 PM PDT by MarkL (Do I really look like a guy with a plan?)
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To: HollyW; 11B40; A Balrog of Morgoth; A message; ACelt; Aeronaut; AFPhys; AlexW; America_Right; ...
AND THE GLORY OF THE LORD SHALL BE REVEALED!

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28 posted on 09/18/2012 12:40:46 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Obama should change his campaign slogan to "Yes, we am!" Sounds as stupid as his administration is.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Because things are so freaking crazy these day, I’m using the source, “The Daily Rash” as the sole proof of the lack of veracity. I hope I’m right, because with algore it is all too believable..


29 posted on 09/18/2012 1:50:31 PM PDT by cardinal4 (RageBoy for DNC Chair!)
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To: HollyW

I didn’t realize Buddhist priests heard confessions. Learn something new every day.


30 posted on 09/19/2012 1:39:58 AM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Love me, love my guns!©)
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To: COBOL2Java

Is it just me, or does Big Al look a lot like Newman?


31 posted on 09/19/2012 2:25:29 AM PDT by GilesB
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