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Wallow In Chaos, And Laugh (Mark Morford is having a nervous breakdown)
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, November 3, 2004 | Mark Morford, Sore Loser

Posted on 11/03/2004 7:12:02 AM PST by presidio9

Oh dear God please not again. Oh dear God please don't let it be all convoluted and depressing and messy and stupid and please don't let it all embarrass us on an international level all over again even more than it already has and even more than it already is and even more than we've endured lo these past four debilitating and soul-crushing years. Hello? Please? Is it already too late?

Why yes, yes it is.

And lo and behold, it's apparently another completely tortuous and entirely knotted presidential election, still not finished and still not all ironed out and as of this writing Ohio is headed for a recount and Kerry still has a glimpse of a chance, and hence we still don't really know the outcome, even though it appears to be leaning toward the utterly appalling notion of another four years of Bush and another Republican stranglehold of Congress and repeated GOP chants of "More War in '04!"

Which is, well, simply staggering. Mind-blowing. Odd. Gut-wrenching. Colon-knotting. Eyeball-gouging. And so on.

You want to block it out. You want to rend your flesh and yank your hair and say no way in hell and lean out your window and scream into the Void and pray it will all be over soon, even though you know you're an atheist Buddhist Taoist Rosicrucian Zen Orgasmican and you don't normally pray to anything except maybe the gods of really exceptional sake and skin-tingling sex and maybe a few luminous transcendental deities that look remarkably like Jenna Jameson.

It simply boggles the mind: We've already had four years of some of the most appalling and abusive foreign and domestic policy in American history, some of the most well-documented atrocities ever wrought on the American populace and it's all combined

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Editorial; Politics/Elections
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I have been waiting four years for her to write this column. This is one that I'll actually read. With glee.
1 posted on 11/03/2004 7:12:03 AM PST by presidio9
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To: presidio9

No comments yet from Ted Rall or Michael Moore?


2 posted on 11/03/2004 7:13:16 AM PST by wideawake (God bless our brave soldiers and their Commander in Chief)
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To: presidio9
Colon-knotting.

Interesting choice of terms for missy Morford.

3 posted on 11/03/2004 7:13:50 AM PST by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: presidio9

GAWD-no WONDER the pharmaceutical companies love the Dems!!!

Talk about a doper baby!


4 posted on 11/03/2004 7:14:33 AM PST by austinaero
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To: presidio9

Laughable rubbish! And they still wonder why they can't win?????? Hellllooooo!!!!!


5 posted on 11/03/2004 7:15:18 AM PST by Melinda
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To: CzarNicky
Colon-knotting.

Interesting choice of terms for missy Morford.


Well, when it comes to matters of the colon, Ms. Morford is an expert.
6 posted on 11/03/2004 7:15:26 AM PST by reagan_fanatic (Screw France)
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To: presidio9
Does this qualify as "the lamentations of their women"? Sure sounds like it to me.

Oh joy, oh joy.

7 posted on 11/03/2004 7:15:53 AM PST by Another-MA-Conservative
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To: presidio9

"I have been waiting four years for her to write this column. This is one that I'll actually read. With glee"

LOL!

I like this line: "apparently another completely tortuous and entirely knotted presidential election"

"Apparently," yes if you listen to CNN, but not in reality.


8 posted on 11/03/2004 7:17:01 AM PST by proud American in Canada
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To: presidio9
I have been waiting four years for her to write this column.

Mark Morford is a she? Who knew!

Oh well, this IS San Francisco.

9 posted on 11/03/2004 7:17:03 AM PST by COBOL2Java (If this isn't the End Times it certainly is a reasonable facsimile...)
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To: presidio9
maybe a few luminous transcendental deities that look remarkably like Jenna Jameson

Is buttboy going straight??
10 posted on 11/03/2004 7:17:16 AM PST by over3Owithabrain
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To: presidio9
Which is, well, simply staggering. Mind-blowing. Odd. Gut-wrenching. Colon-knotting. Eyeball-gouging

ROFLMAO! I knew he'd be thinking of his colon.


11 posted on 11/03/2004 7:17:21 AM PST by Brett66 (Dan Rather, the most busted man in America.)
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To: presidio9

Better put some ice on it, sweetheart...


12 posted on 11/03/2004 7:17:40 AM PST by COBOL2Java (If this isn't the End Times it certainly is a reasonable facsimile...)
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To: presidio9
please don't let it all embarrass us on an international level all over again

BWAHAHAHAhahahaha! ! ! !
Who gives a Rat's rear end?

13 posted on 11/03/2004 7:17:51 AM PST by grobdriver
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To: presidio9
Oh dear God

Too late to invoke God's name, Mark. Unless you are calling upon your god Molech, the deity of infant sacrifice.

A_R

14 posted on 11/03/2004 7:18:08 AM PST by arkady_renko
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To: presidio9
I think today may be the best day in my life. With the exception of course of my children being born although it does feel that way (really tired but extremely happy and satisfied) My wife is going to yell at me no because she had it so much worse when are children were born. Whine, whine, whine
15 posted on 11/03/2004 7:18:10 AM PST by Dr Snide (vis pacem, para bellum - Prepare for war if you want peace)
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To: presidio9
schadenfreude \SHAHD-n-froy-duh\, noun: A malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others.

Heh heh heh.

16 posted on 11/03/2004 7:18:14 AM PST by JOAT
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To: presidio9

Suicide watch in the blue states?


17 posted on 11/03/2004 7:18:18 AM PST by hope (The democrats are hellbent on destroying the electoral process.)
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To: presidio9
For tens of millions of us, it is simply unconscionable that we could possibly be led for another four years by a small and spoiled little man who has very little real idea what he's doing and even less of how the hell he got there.

Suck it up, woosie! We had to suffer through EIGHT years of Clinton. What makes you think you should get off with only FOUR years of suffering now?

18 posted on 11/03/2004 7:18:25 AM PST by Maceman (Too nuanced for a bumper sticker)
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To: presidio9
Ahh, the king (queen?) of the run-on sentence is back. Sounds like it's time for another "sabbatical".
19 posted on 11/03/2004 7:18:39 AM PST by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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To: presidio9

Does this mean we get to take over the moveon.org domain?


20 posted on 11/03/2004 7:18:51 AM PST by COBOL2Java (If this isn't the End Times it certainly is a reasonable facsimile...)
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To: presidio9
Hey, Markie, you can always do the honorable thing:

Kill yourself.

Same goes for Ted Rall, Michael Moore, and the rest of your immoral socialist cadre.

Click the Gadsden flag for pro-gun resources!

21 posted on 11/03/2004 7:19:06 AM PST by Joe Brower (The Constitution defines Conservatism.)
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To: presidio9

Colon-knotting ----- that is what you picture when you think about Moford.


22 posted on 11/03/2004 7:19:06 AM PST by doug from upland (Michael Moore = a culinary Pinocchio ---- tell a lie, gain a pound.)
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To: presidio9

This is definately a "It sucks to be you" kinda day.

I like it!


23 posted on 11/03/2004 7:19:07 AM PST by najida (Thank you God for hearing and answering.)
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To: presidio9

Wow. Hilarious. A keeper fer sure.


24 posted on 11/03/2004 7:19:28 AM PST by boris (The deadliest weapon of mass destruction in history is a Leftist with a word processor)
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To: presidio9

Just read it, oh so very satisfying.


25 posted on 11/03/2004 7:19:31 AM PST by Ksnavely
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To: Brett66

Oh I love your grpahic!


26 posted on 11/03/2004 7:20:07 AM PST by boris (The deadliest weapon of mass destruction in history is a Leftist with a word processor)
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To: presidio9
Colon-knotting.

Well, he's probably an expert.

}:-)4

27 posted on 11/03/2004 7:21:14 AM PST by Moose4 (Hey John, the Germans just bombed Pearl Harbor. IT'S OVER!)
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To: presidio9
I had to listen to ErrrAmerica this morning. Real Crocodile tears!

They know it's over because they found out that the provisional ballots have to be approved by 3 of 4 polling judges, 2 democrat and 2 republican!

28 posted on 11/03/2004 7:21:15 AM PST by TexasCajun
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To: presidio9
Maybe we're not all that sophisticated or nuanced or respectable a nation as we sometimes dare to dream.

Maybe, in fact, we're regressing, back to the days of guns and sexism and pre-emptive violence

... or... you know... maybe it's just that you're a clueless, irrelevant and (thankfully) ineffectual little dickweasel.

That one works, too. :)

29 posted on 11/03/2004 7:21:18 AM PST by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle (I feel more and more like a revolted Charlton Heston, witnessing ape society for the very first time)
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To: Another-MA-Conservative

"Crush the enemy; see him driven before you, und hear the lamentations ov de vimmen." Or words to that effect.


30 posted on 11/03/2004 7:21:37 AM PST by boris (The deadliest weapon of mass destruction in history is a Leftist with a word processor)
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To: reagan_fanatic

Apparently. What a freak!


31 posted on 11/03/2004 7:22:07 AM PST by SirLurkedalot (PRAISE THE KING OF CREATION TODAY AND FOREVER!!!!)
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To: presidio9
It simply boggles the mind: We've already had four years of some of the most appalling and abusive foreign and domestic policy in American history

I got 3 words for you, rumpy-pumpy:

Four more years.

32 posted on 11/03/2004 7:22:10 AM PST by Dr.Deth
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To: CzarNicky
*Puts on Carnak turban*

*Holds envelope to forehead*

Colon-knotting!

*rips open envelope*

What happens when your gerbil stops to ask directions.

33 posted on 11/03/2004 7:22:31 AM PST by N. Theknow ("We will take your money and use it for the common good.")
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To: presidio9

They are imploding one by one this morning. Their craniums simply can't withstand the growing pressure of stark reality any longer, and nature abhorrs a vacuum.


34 posted on 11/03/2004 7:22:36 AM PST by dirtboy (Tagline temporarily out of commission due to excessive intake of gin-soaked raisins)
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To: wideawake

No comments yet from Michael Moore?

"You gonna eat those fries?"
M. Moore


35 posted on 11/03/2004 7:22:54 AM PST by Valin (Out Of My Mind; Back In Five Minutes)
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To: presidio9

Morford finds God. LOL. No atheists in foxholes . . . .


36 posted on 11/03/2004 7:24:21 AM PST by 1rudeboy
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To: najida
This is definitely the best thing I've read so far. :)

Mornin', dumplin'! :)

37 posted on 11/03/2004 7:25:06 AM PST by TheBigB (I have a keyboard and an attitude. Don't piss me off.)
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To: boris

I mean "graphic". Need caffeine.


38 posted on 11/03/2004 7:26:23 AM PST by boris (The deadliest weapon of mass destruction in history is a Leftist with a word processor)
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To: presidio9
Here's a little more from this degenerate's article:

Maybe, in fact, we're regressing, back to the days of guns and sexism and pre-emptive violence, of environmental abuse and no rights for women and an sincere hatred of gays and foreigners and minorities. Sound familiar? It should: It's the modern GOP platform.

MAYBE, we the American people are sick of liberal shit. We're sick of queers, transvestites and "gender" confused retards. We're sick of the lying "mainstream" media. We're sick of high taxes and the welfare state. We're sick of pink-traingle degenerates teaching our kids. We're sick of affirmative action and "hate" speech. We're sick people trying to take away our guns. We're sick of the bullshit UN. We're sick of attacks on our Christianity and our morals.

In a word - we're sick of confused fools like the one who wrote this article. We spoke yesterday. Loud and clear.

39 posted on 11/03/2004 7:26:32 AM PST by glockmeister40
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To: 1rudeboy

No athiests in foxholes...

How about gerbil holes?


40 posted on 11/03/2004 7:27:01 AM PST by Stallone (Mainstream Media is dead. I helped kill it.)
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To: presidio9
Here's a little more from this degenerate's article:

Maybe, in fact, we're regressing, back to the days of guns and sexism and pre-emptive violence, of environmental abuse and no rights for women and an sincere hatred of gays and foreigners and minorities. Sound familiar? It should: It's the modern GOP platform.

MAYBE, we the American people are sick of liberal shit. We're sick of queers, transvestites and "gender" confused retards. We're sick of the lying "mainstream" media. We're sick of high taxes and the welfare state. We're sick of pink-traingle degenerates teaching our kids. We're sick of affirmative action and "hate" speech. We're sick people trying to take away our guns. We're sick of the bullshit UN. We're sick of attacks on our Christianity and our morals.

In a word - we're sick of confused fools like the one who wrote this article. We spoke yesterday. Loud and clear.

41 posted on 11/03/2004 7:27:35 AM PST by glockmeister40
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To: CzarNicky

He seems to have an obsession with things anal. I'm not sure if that is because of personality or sexual preference.


42 posted on 11/03/2004 7:29:31 AM PST by stylin_geek (Kedwards have been on so many sides of the issues, they've created a new geometric shape)
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To: glockmeister40

Thank you for your simple eloquence. Couldn't have said it better myself!!!


43 posted on 11/03/2004 7:31:05 AM PST by Melinda
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To: presidio9

Hey Mark...I would tell you to eat it....but you probably would and that would be bad.

So cheer up...Kerry won California...oh wait he lost the nation though...lol...isn't it great!


44 posted on 11/03/2004 7:31:06 AM PST by Blue Scourge (Off I go into the Wild Blue Yonder...)
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To: presidio9

Wonderful! I hope she, along with the Hollyweirds, assorted Kerryoids like Moore, the superrich donors, moveon and similars will soon move to Europe to live there perpetually. As for the the RAT-infested leftcoast and those in New England, they should repent of their evil ways.


45 posted on 11/03/2004 7:31:58 AM PST by Paulus Invictus
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To: presidio9

Didn't that writer's mother ever tell him to *lose the run-on sentences?* Sheesh.


46 posted on 11/03/2004 7:33:01 AM PST by valkyrieanne (card-carrying South Park Republican)
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To: presidio9

Hit the road, Missy Morford.

47 posted on 11/03/2004 7:34:34 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim (I want to have fanatical henchmen when I grow up.)
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To: austinaero

"GAWD-no WONDER the pharmaceutical companies love the Dems!!! "

yep, esp the makers of paxil, zoloft, prozac ......


48 posted on 11/03/2004 7:34:39 AM PST by gobucks (http://oncampus.richmond.edu/academics/classics/students/Ribeiro/laocoon.htm)
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Comment #49 Removed by Moderator

To: Maceman

>For tens of millions of us, it is simply unconscionable >that we could possibly be led for another four years by a >small and spoiled little man who has very little real idea >what he's doing and even less of how the hell he got there.

Didn't he just describe John Kerry?


50 posted on 11/03/2004 7:37:02 AM PST by sandbar
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