Posted on 03/17/2005 8:33:29 AM PST by Hillary's Lovely Legs
Zookeeper gets to grips with Ireland's top ten greatest inventions. The Atom Bomb? Yep, apparently that was us...
The Top 10 Irish Inventions Phillip John Holland was a Christian Brother who must have felt that there was more to life than beating the shite out of innocent schoolboys. He left his native Co. Clare in 1872 and went to the United States where in 1899, he invented the worlds first submarine- which he hoped in time would be used by the IRA against the British Navy. Unfortunately, the IRA thought it would be a better idea to raid a post office and Holland's hopes were dashed. 2. The Harpoon Gun 3. The Atom Bomb In 1944, the Japanese were feasting themselves on whalemeat and saying what great guys those Irish inventors were, when bish-bash-bosh, they're hit by an atom bomb - also developed (at least, indirectly) by an Irishman, Ernest Walton of Dungarvan in Co. Waterford. Apparently, it really pissed off old Roosevelt the way the Japs bombed Pearl Harbour. "I'll sort you out ya bastards," he said. And he did. 4. The Hypodermic Syringe 5. Shorthand Writing
6. The Armoured Tank 7. The Aircraft Ejector Seat 8. Soda Water Soda Water was 'invented' by Robert Percival, Professor of Chemistry in Trinity College Dublin in 1900. Well, when I say the Top 10 inventions, I actually mean the Top 9... 9. The Monorail 10. Colour Photography
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Stout isn't on this list.
I thought it was whiskey!
Obviously birth control is not on the list.
1. The Submarine
Phillip John Holland was a Christian Brother who must have felt that there was more to life than beating the shite out of innocent schoolboys. He left his native Co. Clare in 1872 and went to the United States where in 1899, he invented the worlds first submarine- which he hoped in time would be used by the IRA against the British Navy. Unfortunately, the IRA thought it would be a better idea to raid a post office and Holland's hopes were dashed.
What about the CSS Hunley?
I was about to ask the same question. Maybe this was the first submarine with an engine? The Hunley was propelled by the crew turning a crankshaft.
And the USS Turtle (SS-001)?
1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Waterproof tea bag
Or the "Turtle."
Just enjoyed my first Jameson's a couple of weeks ago. Smoooooth.
I thought the twist off cap, the push-up bra, and Extra Large Irish Catholic Family sized packages were Irish inventions.
Yer soooooooo smart!
Happy St. Pat's!
I think the original Irish Submarine had screen doors...
Seems to an invention bonanza at freerepublic at the moment :-)
Cheers.
lol!
Two Irishmen, Pat & Mike, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Pat stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.
To the amazement of Pat, a genie came forth. However, this particular genie, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Pat blurted out, 'Make the entire ocean into Guinness!'
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire ocean turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of guinness on the hull broke the stillness, as the two men considered their circumstances.
Mike looked disgustedly at Pat, whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke. 'Nice going Pat, now we're going to have to p*ss in the boat.'
Does anyone have the cartoon: Ireland Before and After Whiskey was invented? No luck on my several searches for this gem.
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