Posted on 09/30/2005 6:03:00 AM PDT by Aracelis
My brother, Eric, will be attempting to get his children back legally from his estranged wife in a little more than 5 hours. He has not seen his children, Korin (age 10), Damon (aged 9), and Aaron (aged 8) in over a month, and they are his entire life.
My sister-in-law is an extremely disturbed individual with numerous psychiatric and physical problems, and ran away with the children one day while my brother was at work. He does not know where any of them are, has had no telephone contact, and has been searching frantically for them ever since.
Would you please pray that Eric can be reunited with his children, and that none of them come to any harm? Unfortunately, my brother lives in a state that automatically assumes the mother to be the better caretaker, but in this case I am hoping the judge will see otherwise.
We continue our prayers and our faith in Our Lord.
8mm
But the Guardian ad Litem was there to hear it all! :)
I know the cost of psych evals is about $800 per person (at least where I live). It is VERY expensive!
My prayers continue for your family...especially for the children!
Just a word of caution because I have had to face this too, don't burn any bridges with the DIL, you never know what will happen. My prayers will continue.
Prayers from TX
I'm sorry, I meant your brother. The mind is slipping away. LOL
Thank you so much for the update! I continue to pray for Eric, Angela, the children and you. We trust God and praise Him! His will may not be apparant while in the middle of a struggle, but He has heard our prayers and will answer them according to His will. God is love.
Prayer up...
Ny'er have you seen this?
Sadly, in Wisconsin, it is MUCH more than $800/person. I'm just glad I have it...almost exactly to the penny. God works in strange and mysterious ways.
I'm so happy you were able to speak with the children. I have had all of you in my thoughts. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers and especially the children through these times. I'm sure God is wrapping his arms around them for protection. Take care and God Bless.
Will continue praying. I live in Wisconsin - are they anywhere near Madison?
Have kept your brother and his children in my prayers and I am so thankful they are safe. Thank you so much for the update and I would love to hear what happens in the future.
You are a wondeful brother and Eric is truly blessed!
prayers continue
and continue.
Be sure to keep your son's lawyer filled in on everything you learn. (I assume he's got a good lawyer - it's expensive but it's money well spent for the kids' future, just like your savings that you're so cheerfully offering for the cause.)
bumpo
Yes, he has a good lawyer, and I've already contributed to that cost. If this was between just Eric and Angela, it's doubtful I would take such an active role. But the children are my kin, my blood, and they're caught in the middle. If I don't help these litle ones, what good am I? How would I explain it to the Lord? I couldn't, and He gave me the money anyway.
You have his Son's word for it.
I am happy to hear of the pastor's intervention.
When we as Christians witness a marriage conducted in a church, we vow to uphold the couple and do nothing to separate them. This is a hard thing for many people to do, but it is the right thing to do unless you are positive that there are assaults or severe mental disordering committed against one of the spouses or the children.
I know personally of a marriage in which one of the spouses had the upper hand and a large family, who supported this spouse no matter what. The other spouse was ridiculed and hounded, which brought out fear and defensive behavior. A seven-year custody battle ensued which was nothing to the wealthy spouse and family, but devastating to the spouse with fewer resources and no family support; but in the long run, the child went with the "lesser" parent, to be raised in a distant city.
The child grew up well, made new friends and graduated with honors from high school and college, and got a responsible, well-paying job with a high-profile employer. The "lesser" spouse who raised the child made a new, if lesser, life. There was still great hurt and financial strain, which prevented a second marrage. The "powerful" spouse is still regarded as a pillar of the community because of work status, family connections and money, but had a string of partners and never remarried. That spouse, if you asked what happened to the former mate, would tell you in all seriousness that the other parent of his child was "crazy". If so, how did the child turn out so well?
So I am always skeptical about entering into a dispute between husband and wife. You never really know what goes on behind closed doors. And while spouses have "rights" legally, in the Christian community we are advised not to take our disputes into court, but rather to take them into the Church.
So it sounds as if your brother and his wife have made a good step. You may not be able to imagine their ever being together again, but it could happen, or at least joint custody, and it may well be the best thing for the children. So you need to love with a Divine Will to love Angela. This doesn't mean you accept all her behavior, but it does mean to avoid judging her and contributing to family attitude-building about her. If your brother should ever have an accidental death before his time, the children would most likely be awarded to her. So you need to always support her equally with your brother, because the children are half "her" and will always need to honor their mother.
One of the best divorces I ever saw was when the family of the husband continued to love and contact the ex-wife, who had custody of a son, no matter what. After she remarried, the grandparents continued to love her, and extended hospitality and courtesies even to the new husband and his children from a former marriage. In this way, access to the boy was regular and pleasant, and after both members of the split couple remarried, they socialized together at the boy's school and church events.
A marriage with children never goes away, even if there is a divorce. It is God's will for children to have both a mother and a father, and for both members of a couple to favor each other over the ties of their birth families. This is very hard for birth families sometimes. A person must be willing to let their own family member go rather than get between him or her and their chosen spouse.
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