Posted on 04/18/2008 7:38:55 AM PDT by Gopher Broke
The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear ' the rules' From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... These are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Oh, Lordy....here we go again. :-)
Do we ping before it turns ugly (and you know it’s going to)
OR, do we find the girls rules and post our own thread?
OR both?
Please refer to rule #1. : )
Gee, except for the toilet seat and the Columbus thingy, this could be the girls’ rules in my household.
Good luck with the enforcement of your rules! It’ll
last as long as the Tuzla sniper attack on the “hill”
I’m out right asking a question :)
bump for later
I posted this on my MySpace page a while ago. I think it’s great. And I agree with every one of them!
Why bother, they won't read it anyway.
Maybe we should just give 'em a Talking Stick.
Well,
I just found my set of girls rules that are a hoot.
And remember Jersey, we will ignore their rules too ;)
Disagree with:
toilet seat - everybody, including the girls, puts BOTH the seat AND the lid down. It keeps kids and pets from falling in AND it looks 10 times better. (Always amazed to see photos of houses for sale online and the toilet lid and sometimes both are up - yuck.)
Disagree with directions thing - men won’t ask, women will - men spend forever driving around, understand not wanting to admit they don’t know something, but it’s so much more practical - and I would think guylike - to just ask.
Disagree with crying - women are emotional, that’s hard-wired, you really don’t want one that acts that much like a man.
Agree with all the rest:
sports fine,
going shopping with you except for VERY special and RARE occasions no way,
talk everything to death with your girl friends (my friends who have sisters only, no brothers, drive me crazy with the minutia they can pick over) and leave your guy alone
men are great at solving problems, that’s what they do - if it’s not solvable and some things are not, talk it to death with other women.
ha ha ha ha...talking stick....
OK, post them...
Uh huh, THIS is the one ;) I have the book, the calendar....Shared it last weekend at a chick party. It's a stitch!
Required reading....
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