Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
And there was much rejoicing.
Thank you, thank you. If you ever appear, physically, in these parts, you can look at it, but you’re probably too tall to sit there.
YAY!!!
Besides, the big galoots can buy their own chairs.
I like my leather recliner, but it was obviously made for a shorter person. It was given to me when I moved in by one of the maintenance men. It had been his wife’s and after her death, it just sat in a back room.
I’m grateful for it, but it’s hard for me to get out of.
I never found out. I just lazed around on the weekend, kept it warm and didn't use it much, and it sorta got better.
Some people might think age is a factor, but the other foot is the same age, so that can't be it. I'm pretty sure I'll get several more decades out of each of them, because they've been sharing the load.
Wellnow. There seems to be a software problem with this laptop, and it will have to go back to the manufacturer. But that seems to be common with rentals, even if they are “new” right out of the box, as this one was. In digging around in it yesterday, trying to find a way to get Window 10 downloaded (because I’m familiar with it) I saw that some of the components in it are two years old.
I called the store and the salesman came out and fiddled with it for an hour, and pronounced it dead, Jim.
So today, “they” will call me and I can take this back and get another. *sigh* And I am so tired...
Sorry to hear that. At least you have other devices to FReep.
Shannon has selected my new chair. Maybe the previous owner had cats.
I’m thinking of buying the second chair, if it’s there the next time I pass by. Then I’d have one for me and one for Shannon.
We had a nearby lightning strike at 6:02.
Took out the power (which came right back on) and the interwebs (which didn’t)
I went to Walmart while this computer decided to update again it still working since the last time I posted and I came back to find that the fire alarm in my bedroom is chirping and I don’t know what kind of battery it uses.so I’m using my phone and that’s not really ideal while I wait being held hostage but it’s hard to see the screen on this little tiny thing.
Going to Walmart with Tom the Son is expensive, but at least he entertains.
“What do you want for supper?”
“What day is it?”
“Thursday.”
“I’ll be out tonight.” (He has a class on Thursday nights.)
“Well, what do your brothers want for supper?”
*thoughtful pause*
“Kale!”
Oh sorry about the new computer. When it rains it pours. It’s raining here..
It’s Cinco de Mayo. I’m dreaming of a taco. Or a taco kitty
Ohnoes.
Not kale. The computer is done updating, but I still couldn’t get it to download Win 10. So I’ll wait until sometime after 1000 when RAC will call me and tell me to come in and get one that has Win 10 already installed.
*sheesh*
I’m SO not happy with Win 8.1. I don’t have a clue how to navigate without a lot of frustration.
And they can’t call too soon. I hate this thing.
I didn’t get them kale ;-).
Got any 7’s?
I’m not sharing.
Ah. They’re getting fish...
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