Posted on 07/19/2009 6:45:05 AM PDT by GeorgiaDawg32
(Fresno, California - 7/19/09) Jim Thompson, who received an outburst of attention which was chronicled here a few days ago has decided, after careful thought and a case of beer, to make a run for the Presidency of the United States.
Lacking the large media attention he received days ago, he made this statement in front of his 2 loyal dogs, Bubba and Bough, and a collection of miscreants from down at the bowling alley together in front of his '69 Camaro, which he admits hasn't run since '73, to make the following statement:
"With my 15 minutes of fame almost up, just like that Candy Shanahan lady, my friends and myself has decided I should run for President of the United States cause it's been proved by recent events you don't need to be real bright to do that. My mama once told me I was a few animals short of a pet shop so I figger I qualify, plus I ain't real sure how old I actually am cause I ain't got no birth certificate."
"We was down at the Pick N Pay beer store sittin on the curb by the dumpster, they have Bimblemans on sale for $.49 a sixpack which is cheaper than the normal $.89 so we picked up a few cases, just a drinkin away. You know Bimblemans, their motto is, "When you want a beer real bad, we have a real bad beer", when one of my friends, I don't remember which one cause I was drunk at the time, said I should run. Now, I ain't what you call savy, but from what I hear'd, all you have to do is party at the White House, fly your friends around on this big ole airo-plane over New York City, they makes some of the worst salsa ever, and dress nice so I went down to Charlies General Store and bought me some new pairs of used overalls, they have less holes in them plus they is cheap, so I could dress the part."
"I figger I ain't gotta think on the job cause I hear'd all I hafta do is read stuff and look serious but since I cain't read, I figger I'll just have people whisper stuff in my ear with one of them wig thingies, which reminds me I gotta get my ears cleaned out cause I get wax buildup somthin fierce, last time I went to the doc he pulled out a 2 inch plug which I was pretty proud of so I showed it to all my friends, and all I got to do is repeat it. Seems easy enough to me."
"So vote for me and I promise to make Bimblemans the official beer of the country."
Developing..
Oh, please stop! MY SIDE HURTS! LOL!
ROTFL!!!!
ping to the further adventures of Jim Thompson
plus I ain’t real sure how old I actually am cause I ain’t got no birth certificate.”
ROTFLMAO. This is too funny.
Ping me w/ this on going fun!
Leave his kids alone!
Can someone point me to the URL for his PAC. I want to contribute.
Hey, I found it! https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/pledge
Some one should get a recording of “Where in the world is Carmen San Diego” and slap it up with Jim Thompson.
.
Run, Jim, Run!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!
The Adventures OF..... J I M T H O M P S O N Brought to YOU by “Pick-n-pay”, “Bimbleman’s” BAAAAAAAD beer, “Mamma Irene’s Super smokes”, and “Pork Products inc”!
In today’s episode, Our Hero, T I M JHOMPSON, Uh... J I M T H O M P S O N faces the the Evil, the horror, the LIBERAL tag team of Nancy Pelosi and Chirs Parry, in a battle so epic, so hugh and series, Spork weasels across our FINE nation are digging their holes as deep as they can to avoid the fallout! But FEAR NOT! Our hero can take on anything, anyone... as long as he has his bimbleman’s, and a pack of Mama Irene’s super smokes, nothing can defeat our hero.....
We will be back after this commercial message!
Is he really running for office, or is it more of a stroll?
ROTFLMA OFF!!!!
“Is he really running for office, or is it more of a stroll?”
***
Around these parts, we call it a mosey.... as in moseying on down to the Pic n Pay.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.