Posted on 06/27/2011 5:01:36 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
DUmmies are experts in using things in ways that were never intended. I mean, look at how they pay lip-service to the Constitution, even though their desire for Unlimited Big Government completely disregards the framers' original intent. Then there's their support for the Homo-American community, whose members put their "members" where they were never intended to go.
So it's no surprise that a DUmmie would post this THREAD, "What commercial product do you use in a way not intended?"
Cyberspace was never meant for moonbats, but they take up the electrons nonetheless. Well, at least they do provide us with laffs, so that's one good thing. So let us now head over to the DU Lounge, where the unintentional humor is in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if PJ can give the DUmmies tips on using coupons in ways not intended, is in the [brackets]:
What commercial product do you use in a way not intended?
[What constitutional amendment do you use in a way not intended?]
Me - I have been using hair conditioner to shave with for at least a decade.
[That long? And you're still not finished? I think I'll stick with the shaving cream.]
I used tea bags to soak my feet and get rid of bacteria.
[Teabagger!]
I use beef babyfood to get my cat to eat a pill.
[So what does your baby get? Catfood?]
I use diaper rash cream to get rid of the odd sore or rash.
[Is that you, benburch?]
used to use amway laundry detergent to clean the bong. . . .
[Amway? AMWAY??? LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
I never heard of anyone ever buying an Amway product. . . .
[Your "bong" reference didn't fool us! You've been smoked out!]
I've been using Avon Cracked Heel Cream, it has a numbing agent. . . . It's a Must Have in my house for poison ivy.
[The DUmmies should use Cracked Head Cream. It's a must-have for numb skulls.]
I use vodka.
[I bet you do.]
I have had bumper crops of poison ivy (which loves climate change). . . .
[Think of all the poor baby polar bears itching away in misery! D*MN you, Bush!]
I now keep a bottle of cheap vodka in the shower so it is immediately available. . . .
[Doesn't help the poison ivy, but at least when I'm passed out drunk, I don't notice it as much.]
Kerosene and gasoline work, too. . . .
[I would think they'd be a little hard on the stomach, but, hey, whatever works for you. . . .]
I've heard old farmers tell about rinsing themselves off with either one after running into a patch of poison ivy.
[Just be careful about lighting up the old bong at that point.]
Here's something else that's crazy: I've run hot water over an outbreak to stop the the itching. It sends a tingle through my whole body.
[Is that you, Chris Matthews?]
Mayonnaise to polish the furniture--gets rid of water spots. . . .
[The really hard spots have to go to the Mayo Clinic.]
I've used Coke cans to make pipes.
[You've also used pipes to smoke coke.]
I use tampons to clean out my ears.
[T M I !!!]
I've used tampons in the summer in some folds of skin to prevent sweating.
[ben, you have so many folds in your skin, you must buy 'em by the pallet!]
I give Fisher Price toys to my female dog. . . .
[The b*tch.]
she loves to press the buttons and she is like Stephen Hawking crossed with a DJ. She can make it skip from one track to another and say things like: "I love....Lamb!" It also plays the sound of a barking dog. . . .
[But can it do a barking moonbat?]
When we had a dog, he would kill to play with racket balls. . . .
[Lost a lot of racquetball players that way. Buried 'em in the back yard.]
"Hand" lotion.
[Yes, we know, ben!]
Liquid Nails.
[Do you have to buy a Liquid Hammer?]
Polident denture cleaning tabs. I use them to clean my teapot!
[Another teabagger!]
Vacuum cleaner.
[Don't . . . want . . . to know.]
PING!
Good thing they didn’t reveal how they use gerbils
Top 5!
This isn’t one of your best, CH.
Some of the ideas aren’t that bad and if any substance on earth can get the cat to take a pill it should be lauded.
It is a cute topic with some cute responses — the topic and responses would be perfectly at home here in /chat, with a few of our local memes tossed in.
Just a thought...
If you don't like someone, put an "Obama 2012" and "I 'heart' socialism" bumper sticker on their car, watch the fun begin!
top 10!
This was just a little lighthearted diversion from our normal DUFU. A trip to the DU Lounge every now and then, just to have a little FUn with a non-political topic.
I’m surprised no one has an off brand use for a gerbil...
eeeee...do I want to read this one before commenting? Could be something that would make me decide not to eat my dinner! :)
Oh, what the heck! ..........
a rock, steel pipe, harmonic balancer, brake rotor, a shoe, rolled up newspaper, a farriers rasp, blacksmith's tongs, an old cordless telephone, a spline line-up tool, various unknown spare parts left over from various and forgotten projects ...
all have in common?
They're all hammers at some time in their lives.
This is hysterically, outrageously funny. Your commentary is hilarious. I laughed so hard the dog came up to check on me, and to see if she could get in on the fun.
>>This was just a little lighthearted diversion from our normal DUFU. A trip to the DU Lounge every now and then, just to have a little FUn with a non-political topic.<<
They are cute sometimes. And, yes, a release of the pressure valve is always in order :)
FYI: For posting that photo you will not go to heaven.
I hope you are Catholic so there is Purgatory as an option
;)
I’m screwed. LOL
Uh, um, ah, .... boring replies. Seems like at least some DUers are normal.
When we used to go boating and fished, a spray bottle of cheap vodka came in handy. You spray it in the gills of a flopping, angry fish and they are OUT! No more fighting and bringing them onboard is a piece of cake.
I finally thought of a commercial product I misused. Years ago I was at the party of a flaky friend [she moved her entire family from MA to Montana, so as to be self-sufficient by the time Y2k struck] and the mosquitoes were out. She said if we all applied a beauty product called Skin so Soft, it would repel them. We all did, and I swear the number of mosquitoes quadrupled.
Fail.
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