Posted on 06/27/2011 5:01:36 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
DUmmies are experts in using things in ways that were never intended. I mean, look at how they pay lip-service to the Constitution, even though their desire for Unlimited Big Government completely disregards the framers' original intent. Then there's their support for the Homo-American community, whose members put their "members" where they were never intended to go.
So it's no surprise that a DUmmie would post this THREAD, "What commercial product do you use in a way not intended?"
Cyberspace was never meant for moonbats, but they take up the electrons nonetheless. Well, at least they do provide us with laffs, so that's one good thing. So let us now head over to the DU Lounge, where the unintentional humor is in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if PJ can give the DUmmies tips on using coupons in ways not intended, is in the [brackets]:
What commercial product do you use in a way not intended?
[What constitutional amendment do you use in a way not intended?]
Me - I have been using hair conditioner to shave with for at least a decade.
[That long? And you're still not finished? I think I'll stick with the shaving cream.]
I used tea bags to soak my feet and get rid of bacteria.
[Teabagger!]
I use beef babyfood to get my cat to eat a pill.
[So what does your baby get? Catfood?]
I use diaper rash cream to get rid of the odd sore or rash.
[Is that you, benburch?]
used to use amway laundry detergent to clean the bong. . . .
[Amway? AMWAY??? LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
I never heard of anyone ever buying an Amway product. . . .
[Your "bong" reference didn't fool us! You've been smoked out!]
I've been using Avon Cracked Heel Cream, it has a numbing agent. . . . It's a Must Have in my house for poison ivy.
[The DUmmies should use Cracked Head Cream. It's a must-have for numb skulls.]
I use vodka.
[I bet you do.]
I have had bumper crops of poison ivy (which loves climate change). . . .
[Think of all the poor baby polar bears itching away in misery! D*MN you, Bush!]
I now keep a bottle of cheap vodka in the shower so it is immediately available. . . .
[Doesn't help the poison ivy, but at least when I'm passed out drunk, I don't notice it as much.]
Kerosene and gasoline work, too. . . .
[I would think they'd be a little hard on the stomach, but, hey, whatever works for you. . . .]
I've heard old farmers tell about rinsing themselves off with either one after running into a patch of poison ivy.
[Just be careful about lighting up the old bong at that point.]
Here's something else that's crazy: I've run hot water over an outbreak to stop the the itching. It sends a tingle through my whole body.
[Is that you, Chris Matthews?]
Mayonnaise to polish the furniture--gets rid of water spots. . . .
[The really hard spots have to go to the Mayo Clinic.]
I've used Coke cans to make pipes.
[You've also used pipes to smoke coke.]
I use tampons to clean out my ears.
[T M I !!!]
I've used tampons in the summer in some folds of skin to prevent sweating.
[ben, you have so many folds in your skin, you must buy 'em by the pallet!]
I give Fisher Price toys to my female dog. . . .
[The b*tch.]
she loves to press the buttons and she is like Stephen Hawking crossed with a DJ. She can make it skip from one track to another and say things like: "I love....Lamb!" It also plays the sound of a barking dog. . . .
[But can it do a barking moonbat?]
When we had a dog, he would kill to play with racket balls. . . .
[Lost a lot of racquetball players that way. Buried 'em in the back yard.]
"Hand" lotion.
[Yes, we know, ben!]
Liquid Nails.
[Do you have to buy a Liquid Hammer?]
Polident denture cleaning tabs. I use them to clean my teapot!
[Another teabagger!]
Vacuum cleaner.
[Don't . . . want . . . to know.]
>> Seems like at least some DUers are normal.<<
No, it is a simulation. They are NOT normal but they can appear so (thus my post upthread).
But it never occurred to me to make a fish vodka-cake. ;)
I use newspapers for cleaning fish. About all they are good for besides covering the floor when I paint.
I would use newspapers for the first stage in housebreaking a puppy...if I took the newspaper any more. I canceled the subscription, though; online news is better.
Michael Moore?
a little crack in the interwebz lets us see a bit of the real life of the DUmmies. TMI.
I stuck on tampon ear cleaner. No one noticed that? I’m confused.
I saw that. I don’t think anyone wants more info.
So now you use flat panel displays as floor absorbent of puppy spills? ....That’s one way to justify an upgrade to the wife.............
Used or fresh? That is the question.............
That’s funny. No, I haven’t used a flat panel display. I use grocery store fliers, when I have to. Mostly we just skip the in-between option, and they learn to use the Great Outdoors young. Except for a part Chihuahua stray and the Rescue Dog from Hell [long story] mine seem to learn the ropes easily and young. They live for praise, and when they do it right they get plenty. Works out well all around. :)
Not the kind of publicity the Warriors were hoping for.
Hah!
. . . I use my Dance Dance Revolution pad to keep myself awake. . . . . . 
Newspaper is great for cleaning glass instead of using rags. Can be free if you use junk mail. It puts a shine on the glass, something about the ink that does it...
Used by who??
ew
Here’s one that will astound anyone but works as nothing else...
Use a ‘store plastic bag’ to buff you’re gemstones, diamonds, watches etc....you’ll be astounded how brillant they are.
More than on occassion my clients mouths drop to the floor when they see this. Even after you’ve cleaned them well, buff them after. Really is quite remarkable.
This one made me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes, especially that Ben Burch comment regarding the rash cream.
Useless bit of information, but interesting and true....
In Commercial Construction, the Ventilation Contractor, the V in HVAC, is PROHIBITED by the specifications from using Duct Tape, on ... the Ductwork.(1)
Yep, it's in every AIA Specification. Reason, because it's been abused, aka misused, in its applications by Schlock Contractors, trying to save money on duct seam sealant. After a few years the tape's glue dried out and air leaks were from here to kingdom come. And that will really screw up a systems design (10% Max air leakage is what we allow for in our Calc's(2)). So Mechanical Engineers banned it.
ana side: Back in 1994-95 a new Duct Sealant came out by the major duct sealant mfg company, but it was in Tape Form and 'looked' like Duct Tape. I wanted to use it on a FedGov Project. Boy did the poop hit the fan when I brought it to the jobsite. I had to submit Samples and every spec sheet from the mfg, but I got it approved for use. And man that stuff is magic. And it beats a Union Journeyman standing on a ladder with a bucket of sealant and a dozen paint brushes.
I use this Tape Sealant now at home. I sealed every duct I could reach and my furnace's air flow shot up by 20% easily and my gas and electric bills went down. And no I ain't tellin' where I get it ;-)
(1) 'Sometimes' there is ONE exception and Duct Tape can be used, but for one thing only. But it's pretty rare. And too technical to get into.
(2) 10% of the System's Total Air Flow Capacity (aka: CFM)
I think multiple rolls of paper towels would be needed in that situation. An 8 roll value pack might work.
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