Posted on 05/04/2004 9:43:06 PM PDT by js1138
I am the very model of a presidential candidate,
From character to senator I know what to assassinate
I lobby for the victims of injustice and adversities
And care for those disabled when compared to my abilities.
I've slept with movie stars and yachted with the Kennedys,
I've copied their initials and shared in their amenities;
And in the field of foreign wars my service is distinguished
As soon as all the ugly rumors are extinguished.
As soon as all the ugly rumors are extinguished.
As soon as all the ugly rumors are extinguished.
As soon as all the ugly rumors are extinguished.
I'm boarded prepped and schooled in snowy Switzerland,
My haircuts and my facials put me out at least a grand
My visage in the mirror never ceases to me fascinate
I am the very model of a presidential candidate.
In short his visage never ceases to him fascinate
He is the very model of a presidential candidate.
I married very well, I did, and married nearly twice,
The first was just for practice though the kids they say are nice.
My first wife though depressive and annulled is still a friend,
My second wife is richer still and is a major brand.
Opinions, like my marriages, I always form in pairs,
I'm married to ideas when they belong to millionaires;
So right and wrong are nuanced and I have my haws and hems,
I'll never rush to judgment like Lord Hamlet on the Thames.
He'll never rush to judgment like Lord Hamlet on the Thames.
He'll never rush to judgment like Lord Hamlet on the Thames.
He'll never rush to judgment like Lord Hamlet on the Thames.
I am the very model of a presidential candidate
In matters war and peaceful I can spin and vacillate
When I am president at last, we will surely will have peace
Unless the right wing leader of some Haiti or some Greece
Stirs up an insurrection that requires my attention
Or extra votes are needed just before the next election.
In which case I will castigate severely the aggressor.
Or maybe delegate the task to the U.N. or my successor.
Or maybe delegate the task to the U.N. or his successor.
Or maybe delegate the task to the U.N. or his successor.
Or maybe delegate the task to the U.N. or his successor.
(Till he had three scratches and could leave the war!)
I counted my scratches so cleverly
That now I'm in the running for the presidency!
(He counted his scratches so cleverly
That now he's in the running for the presidency!)
When I got back, I made my picks
Knowing that my future lay in politics.
To side with Nixon was no choice
When Fonda had the popular voice!
(When Fonda had the popular voice!)
That anti-war movement was so good for me,
That now I'm in the running for the presidency!
(That anti-war movement was so good for he,
That now he's in the running for the presidency!)
I testified in the congress house!
Nixon thought I was just a louse!
My brothers-in-arms I accused of crimes
But certainly I was part of the times!
(But certainly he was part of the times!)
I tossed my ribbons so effortlessly
That now I'm in the running for the presidency!
(He tossed his ribbons so effortlessly
That now he's in the running for the presidency!)
My anti-war group to move the nation
Made plots about assassination.
We thought we'd just kill five or so,
But ultimately we said, "No go!"
(But ultimately they said, "No go!")
And none of that got linked to me
So now I'm in the running for the presidency!
(And none of that got linked to he,
So now he's in the running for the presidency!)
For Mikey D. I was lieutenant gov,
In a state that only a commie could love.
But that's not what I was priming for
So soon I ran for Senator!
(So soon he ran for Senator!)
My run to the left so worked for me,
That now I'm in the running for the presidency!
(His run to the left so worked for he,
That now he's in the running for the presidency!)
As Senator from a far-left state
I found Nicaragua on my plate!
I coddled Danny and hindered Ron.
Where have my Sandinistas gone!?
(Where have his Sandinistas gone?)
And I tried to abolish the DoD,
Yet still I'm in the running for the presidency!
(He tried to abolish the DoD,
Yet still he's in the running for the presidency!)
The moral here you may suspect,
Is to be politically correct!
It matters little what you do,
Your posturing is what labels you!
(Your posturing is what labels you!)
Keep a finger to the wind, perhaps you'll see
That you all may be running for the presidency!
(Keep a finger to the wind, perhaps you'll see
That you all may be running for the presidency!)
If and when I ever get around to updating the Songbook, would you mind if I included this?
"When I was a Lad" from HMS Pinafore. I'd be delighted to be included your songbook.
Tim Robbins should be proud. His success is an inspiration to no-talent amateurs everywhere. (Not to mention that his bio gives hope to ugly old women.)
Nah.
I wish I'd had teachers who could constructively criticise. I worked pretty hard to get the meter right, but reached a point where I thought it was better to publish than lose interest.
I'll be back.
President Kerry?
The Founders' dream forsaken,
Melancholy thought.
I AM A VIET VET ("I Am a Pirate King") ====================================== Oh, better far to live than die As about my wounds I lie, And play my sanctimonious parts With a silver star and three purple hearts. Away to the stateside world I flew, Where gigolos are well-to-do; Then I did exploit the life I've set, And live and die a Viet Vet. For I am a Viet Vet! And it is, it is how I hedge my bet I am a Viet Vet! For I am a Viet Vet! (You are! Hurrah for the Viet Vet!) And it is, it is how I hedge my bet I am a Viet Vet. (It is! Hurrah for the Viet Vet! Hurrah for the Viet Vet!) When I sally to be President I treat myself with a royal bent. I never fall, it's true, you see Unless I'm tripped by an S.O.B; For thrity years in D.C. I've got A record of doing diddley-squat; Just watch me keep the focus on My four-month tour in Vietnam! For I am a Viet Vet! And it is, it is how I hedge my bet I am a Viet Vet! For I am a Viet Vet! (You are! Hurrah for the Viet Vet!) And it is, it is how I hedge my bet I am a Viet Vet. (It is! Hurrah for the Viet Vet! Hurrah for the Viet Vet!)
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