Posted on 03/12/2008 4:55:51 AM PDT by ciocia
Is your male friend heavy too? Because I would guess that if she is overeating he probably is sharing her poor diet with similar results...so, using your logic, he too has let himself go.
No, I work in health care and I see a lot of sick folks...and many of them would kill to be fit and healthy but life and circumstance had other plans. I just see it differently.
Nothing is shallower than the ‘you body is what makes me love you’ attitude-— all it takes is one accident, one blood vessel to blow, one blood chem to go wrong....and that ‘fit healthy’ person will now be grateful just to be alive.
Much less loved for themselves. Yeah-— nothing is more contemptible than someone who bitches at a spouse whose gained 50 pounds after fighting a disease and going on meds.
I’ve seen it and there’s a special place in hell for them.
Fit and healthy? I mean, how narrow is the margin? One size too large? 10 pounds too much? Ok, but what if they’re still a size 14 in great cardio shape and with great lab work and genetics that mean they’ll live until they’re 99?
And most of all, they are alive!
Husbands who dance with their wives get laid a lot more often.
Women who are clinically depressed are very difficult to live with, so your friend has my empathy. If she won’t seek treatment, he is in a tough position until the kids are gone.
ONLY if she wants to...
ONLY if shes comfortable with it....
ONLY if its who she is.....
Now I will say this, my proudest moments have been when spouses (and parents) have attended performances for the first time. And they’re happily amazed at just how beautiful and talented their loved one is.... That’s what it’s all about.
No. He is strict about his diet. Has to be too. His mothr died of diabetes.
Being a dancer, I wouldn’t date or marry a woman who didn’t enjoy dancing twice a week.
Ahhh, there is more to this than the weight!
And yes, she’s at fault...but it’s not the weight, it’s her character.
Big diff.
Four kids? And she is in her early 30s? Could also be post partum depression. Really...it seems (from what you describe) that she has mental health issues...see its not all black and white. The world, and most relationships, are just a murky shade of gray. Its not the weight gain...its what made her gain weight. Untreated depression, diabetes, and thryroid problems can all cause mood swings and unexpected weight change. She should be seen by a physician.
LOL!
This is going to crack you up (or not) but I can’t touching couples dance at all... Especially now-—
So much of the technique used is instant response and interpretation of the music that now when I hear music...I move...and if you aren’t it’s like “What! MOVE!”
The only time I come close is Flamenco, but you don’t touch in that. (but I STINK STINK STINK so far in Flamenco).
That’s garbage. I do things all the time that I don’t want to because I care... that’s a part of marriage. Your definition is the purest form of selfishness. I hate satin underwear, makes me feel gay, but I’ll wear it if it works for my wife. Damn, I hope you don’t give marriage counseling... first rule is that sometimes you do what you don’t want to do for the other person....
But we’ve gotten to the root of it (and understand, I’m either around very sick folks or dance types).
I agree with the others...she sounds depressed. What is her family hx like? I mean, hx of neglect, abuse, depression, suicide and what illnesses?
Lets hope your friend can help his wife get the medical care she obviously needs (from your description) so that his four kids don’t suffer the same fate (losing their mom to diabetes).
I am talking as a dance teacher here! I don’t want anyone to take unless they want to! Unless it’s who they are and what they want.
Otherwise, it’s a total waste of time. It’s too hard for the uncommitted.
In her case, I think its both real depression AND selfishness. You can be sick and still be a jerk. Or crippled and still be a nightmare of a person. A medical condition does not excuse everything.
She is on the fast track to some kind of massive medical problem. He’s tried everything.... I’m not sure there is much left. I’m more worried about him actually though. He’s become the victim of her issues.
OK...so what can be done to make things better? And maybe getting to the root of the depression may find the root of the jerkification.
She may not become good, but at least higher functioning for the sake of her kids. Also, your friend married her, so he saw something there (I think).
Marriages involve a lot of entwinement of mental, spiritual, and physical dynamics. Marriages aren’t about 2 Islands that coexist and have occasional conversations together.
Couple are responsible for one another as well as each person for themselves; they fool themselves if each thinks each can go back to being single individuals again when ever each may or may not want a little “forbidden water” on the side.
As we don’t know the intimate details of the Spitzer’s marriage we’d better hold back of the “judgments” of responsibility of blame. She may very well have had arrangements with the “pool guy” for all we know! You don’t think she might have had suspicions of what he was doing off and on over the past 10 years?
I will say that Spitzer violated federal tax laws as well as the Mann act(forbidding the trafficking of prostitutes over state lines) and that the evidence is damning...may he rot in prison!
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