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48 Reasons why Dogs are better than women
Strange Cosmos ^ | 8/17/2003

Posted on 08/16/2003 8:39:35 PM PDT by sinkspur

48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women 48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. Dogs don't cry.

2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.

3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

4. Dogs think you sing great.

5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

10. Dogs are excited by rough play.

11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.

13. Dogs love red meat.

14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

17. Dogs don't shop.

18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

19. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

21. A dog's parents never visit.

22. Dogs love long car trips.

23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

26. Dogs like beer.

27. Dogs don't hate their bodies.

28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

30. Dogs never criticize.

31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

32. Dogs never expect gifts.

33. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

34. Dogs don't worry about germs.

35. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

37. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

40. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

42. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.

44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

45. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

46. Dogs can't talk.

47. Dogs aren't catty.

48. Dogs seldom outlive you.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: dogs; joke
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1 posted on 08/16/2003 8:39:35 PM PDT by sinkspur
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To: sinkspur
Dogs DON'T wash your underwear.
2 posted on 08/16/2003 8:43:11 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other ---"I'll man the guns, You drive")
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To: dixiechick2000
Dogs LUV when you wear dirty underwear!
3 posted on 08/16/2003 8:44:11 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Go ahead, make my day and re-state the obvious! Again!)
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To: Revolting cat!
LOL!
4 posted on 08/16/2003 8:44:52 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other ---"I'll man the guns, You drive")
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To: sinkspur
I love this list!!
5 posted on 08/16/2003 8:45:08 PM PDT by Rabid Dog
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To: sinkspur
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

You're posting this from the doghouse (where your significant other just sent you only moments ago), aren't you? :-)

6 posted on 08/16/2003 8:48:42 PM PDT by lowbridge (You are the audience. I am the author. I outrank you! -Franz Liebkind, The Producers)
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To: sinkspur
Dogs know that when it itches you should scratch it!
7 posted on 08/16/2003 8:48:49 PM PDT by rednekelmo
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To: sinkspur
Now that you're in the mood, check this site out: http://www.nomarriage.com/
8 posted on 08/16/2003 8:51:44 PM PDT by jlogajan
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To: sinkspur
A dog doesn't care if you smell sweaty.

You can have two dogs at once and they don't care.
9 posted on 08/16/2003 8:53:25 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn’t be, in its eyes, a slave.)
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To: sinkspur
A dog won't look at you funny if you drop something on the floor, pick it up and eat it.

10 posted on 08/16/2003 8:54:28 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn’t be, in its eyes, a slave.)
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To: sinkspur
A dog doesn't care if you drink from the jug in your underwear at 2 a.m.
11 posted on 08/16/2003 8:55:56 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn’t be, in its eyes, a slave.)
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To: sinkspur
WHY CATS ARE BETTER THEN MEN
Cats keep their opinions to themselves
Cat's don't criticize your mother
Cats never question how much you're eating
Cats never claim they know how to fix larger appliances
Cats understand the importance of beauty sleep
Cats are happy to let you drive
Cats always look good first thing in the morning
One good purr can be worth a thousand words
Cats don't complain when you get a short haircut
Cats love it when you go shopping
Cats never return the gifts you get them
Cats are able to keep the romance alive
12 posted on 08/16/2003 8:56:33 PM PDT by stlnative
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To: sinkspur
Dogs never ask you what you're thinking about.
13 posted on 08/16/2003 8:57:10 PM PDT by Loyalist
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To: sinkspur
5 reasons why women are better than dogs.

1. Dogs can't cook.
2. A dog isn't a good date. And don't expect to get anywhere if you're dumb enough to try it.
3. Women can get in the mood. Forget a dog.
4. Dogs don't clean the house. If you leave it there, chances are your dog will relocate it--as soon as he's done eating it. This includes undies.
5. Though a dog will never force you to watch Trading Spaces, a dog will never tell you when a football game is on. If you miss it, you get a lick. Good? No. Take it from me, you don't wanna know where that tongue has been.
14 posted on 08/16/2003 8:57:38 PM PDT by 4mycountry (One voice, connecting with others like a water droplet on a lake. It cannot be missed.)
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To: sinkspur
Why CATS are better than MEN


1. A CAT always hits the litterbox.

2. Better chance of training a CAT.

3. You never have to spend time with your CAT's mother.

4. If you ask enough times, a CAT may actually listen to you.

5. You can de-claw a CAT... try to get a guy to clip his toenails.

6. It's okay if a CAT rubs up against your best friend.

7. A CAT knows you're the key to his happiness... a man thinks he is.


15 posted on 08/16/2003 8:59:05 PM PDT by stlnative
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To: dixiechick2000
Dogs DON'T wash your underwear.

Or your bill fold
16 posted on 08/16/2003 8:59:14 PM PDT by WKB (3!~ ( You can hear it anywhere but only here can you tell the world what you think about it))
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To: sinkspur
A picture is forming. You, relaxing after a long week on the job, Sat. night, sippin on a cool one in front of your monitor, listening to the wife behind you gripe about your being on the computer?
17 posted on 08/16/2003 9:00:05 PM PDT by MissAmericanPie
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To: wardaddy; sit-rep
Prairee Dog style bump !

Stay Safe !

18 posted on 08/16/2003 9:00:16 PM PDT by Squantos (Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.)
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To: 4mycountry
3. Women can get in the mood. Forget a dog.

First of all dogs are always in the mood! Second, dogs always say what they mean and don't speak in euphemisms!

19 posted on 08/16/2003 9:00:24 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Go ahead, make my day and re-state the obvious! Again!)
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Dogs are like men, they'll stick around as long as you'll
feed them.
20 posted on 08/16/2003 9:00:40 PM PDT by Chantal
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