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Keyword: wasteoftime

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  • Capitol Police Arrest Pro-Life Demonstrators Near White House

    02/18/2012 2:22:50 PM PST · by John Semmens · 11 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 Feb 2012 | John Semmens
    Six pro-life demonstrators were arrested for holding a prayer vigil on the sidewalk outside the White House earlier this week. All were released after paying a ransom of $100 apiece. One of the arrestees, Fr. Denis Wilde, the Associate Director of Priests for Life, pointed out the disparities between how his small protest was handled when compared to the police response to the Occupy Wall Street protest. “Occupy Wall Street protesters have been occupying federal property for months, but when we kneel in prayer, the police are called in and we are arrested,” Father Wilde complained. Spokesman for the Capitol...
  • Appeals Court Blocks California Ban on Same-Sex “Marriage”

    02/12/2012 5:28:46 PM PST · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Feb 2012 | John Semmens
    The 9th Circuit Federal Appeals Court upheld District Court Judge Vaughn Walker’s overturning of the voter-approved amendment (Proposition 8) banning the state’s recognition of same-sex “marriage.” “Voters have no right to amend their state’s constitution in ways that contradict clearly established federal policies,” the Court wrote in its decision. “To allow such ‘willy-nilly’ revisions on a state-by-state basis would lead to a patchwork of divergent laws across the nation. Things that are permitted in some states might be disallowed in others. Uniformity and equality of rights throughout the 50 states would be sacrificed to a misguided notion of state and...
  • Obama Strives to Overcome “Checks-and-Balances” Impediments to Change

    02/11/2012 12:22:30 PM PST · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Feb 2012 | John Semmens
    President Barack Obama tried to console frustrated supporters by placing blame for the slow pace of change on the nation’s “founding fathers.” “You and I know what needs to be done to bring social justice to every American,” the President observed. “But our enemies in Congress and the states are exploiting loopholes left in the Constitution by our nation’s early leaders. The requirement that laws must be approved by both houses of Congress enables obstructionists to block the mandate I received from voters in 2008. The autonomy granted the states under the Tenth Amendment insulates them from total compliance with...
  • Komen Foundation Will Continue to Fund Planned Parenthood

    02/04/2012 11:48:13 AM PST · by John Semmens · 12 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Feb 2012 | John Semmens
    Under pressure from leading abortion advocates, the Komen Foundation for the Cure of Breast Cancer reversed an earlier decision to discontinue its annual grant to Planned Parenthood. “It has been pointed out to us that our decision to cease funding Planned Parenthood was based on some miscalculations,” said Komen CEO Nancy Brinker. “First, many of those who have supported our efforts to fight breast cancer are ardent about the work of Planned Parenthood. Our decision to end funding for that organization was taken as an insult and could have longer term negative impacts on our main mission.” “Second, every abortion...
  • President to Give Advanced Missile Technology to Russians

    01/22/2012 11:00:52 AM PST · by John Semmens · 21 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 Jan 2012 | John Semmens
    Saying that he didn’t want members of Congress to take his decision not to follow their advice personally, President Obama, nonetheless went ahead and initiated the transfer of sensitive missile technology information to the Russian government. “I know that there are those who disagree with me on this,” the President acknowledged. “But I have to do what I think is right. That’s why the American people elected me. I can’t let them down.” What the president referred to as “advice” came in the form of a law prohibiting the sharing of this missile technology with any foreign government. Though President...
  • Feds Sanction Arizona Sheriff

    12/17/2011 1:18:02 PM PST · by John Semmens · 14 replies
    Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio was sternly rebuked by the US Justice Department for allowing ethnic bias to influence his efforts to crack down on illegal immigrants from Mexico. “Instead of using our preferred methods for randomizing the enforcement presence, Arpaio has consistently focused his attention on persons of obvious Mexican heritage,” Assistant US Attorney General Thomas Perez charged. “His methods are completely ineffective against illegal entry by persons from Europe or Asia—leaving both Arizona and the nation vulnerable to incursions from these sources.” Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced that her Department would join with the Department of Justice...
  • Drunken Idiot Congressman Fires Disloyal Staffers

    12/10/2011 10:35:25 AM PST · by John Semmens · 21 replies
    Representative Rick Larsen (D-Wash) dismissed three legislative aides after learning that they had “tweeted” tales of his on-the-job drunkenness, goofing off, and idiocy. “It’s a simple question of loyalty,” Larsen explained. “Anybody on my payroll is paid to make me look good, to help me be reelected, to serve my needs. If they can’t do that I don’t want them.” Larsen declined to address whether there was any truth to the tweets. “As Pontius Pilate once asked, ‘what is truth?’” Larsen recalled. “The perspectives of these ‘wet-behind-the-ears’ novices cannot be taken seriously. I’ve been in Congress for over a decade....
  • Bill Authorizes Martial Law for America

    12/05/2011 10:55:52 AM PST · by John Semmens · 27 replies · 3+ views
    A recently passed Senate Bill—the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA)—grants broad new authority to the Department of Defense (DOD) to arrest and detain civilians who are suspected of being enemies of the state. In any area that the DOD declares to be a “zone of conflict” it would be empowered to apprehend and imprison suspected enemies “for the duration of the conflict.” The Bill explicitly repeals the 1878 Posse Comitatus ban on the use of US troops against civilians within the borders of the United States. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta called the expanded authority “absolutely necessary tools for defeating those...
  • Sluggish Economy Blamed on Lazy Americans

    11/18/2011 9:23:31 PM PST · by John Semmens · 44 replies
    In his continuing quest to find the “real killers” of America’s prosperity, President Obama is now testing out the idea that laziness lies at the root of the prolonged recession we’re in. “Look, we in government have been going all out trying to get the economy moving,” the president told an audience of campaign supporters. “In the last two years the federal government has spent more than it ever has before. We’ve generously handed out money left and right. We’ve added new guidelines and procedures to virtually every segment of industry in an effort to direct businesses toward a more...
  • Poll Shows New Yorkers Disappointed in Obama

    08/22/2011 6:53:20 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 20 August 2011 | John Semmens
    A poll of New York voters conducted by Siena College found that only 36% approve of President Obama’s job performance. This is a decline from last May’s 53% approval rating. A comment from a Manhattan poll respondent cited the president’s “lack of focus.” “He keeps talking about creating jobs,” the respondent complained. “We don’t want wage slavery. We need to get paid. That’s why we elected him. What I want to know is where are our checks?” Despite their disappointment with the President, New York voters still prefer him to any possible Republican contender. The poll shows that even former...
  • Males Believe Discussing Problems Is A Waste of Time, MU Study Shows

    08/22/2011 3:27:43 PM PDT · by decimon · 71 replies
    University of Missouri ^ | August 22, 2011 | Unknown
    COLUMBIA, Mo. – A new University of Missouri study finds that boys feel that discussing problems is a waste of time. “For years, popular psychologists have insisted that boys and men would like to talk about their problems but are held back by fears of embarrassment or appearing weak,” said Amanda J. Rose, associate professor of psychological sciences in the MU College of Arts and Science. “However, when we asked young people how talking about their problems would make them feel, boys didn’t express angst or distress about discussing problems any more than girls. Instead, boys’ responses suggest that they...
  • Pataki Considers 2012 Run For President

    08/21/2011 11:41:30 AM PDT · by MNJohnnie · 34 replies
    New York 1 ^ | 08-21-11
    A spokesman has confirmed that former Governor George Pataki is strongly considering entering the crowded race for the Republican presidential nomination. Sources say Pataki, who left office in 2007, could make an announcement as early as next week. If he were to run, Pataki would face several major obstacles including launching an operation with little campaign cash and facing several opponents who have been meeting voters in Iowa and New Hampshire for months.
  • Poll Shows Substantial Minority See “Tea Party” as Terrorists

    08/14/2011 12:32:15 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 21 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 12 August 2011 | John Semmens
    A Rasmussen poll showed that while a majority (55%) disagree with the statement: “members of the Tea Party are economic terrorists,” 29% say that they are. Among this minority, Massachusetts poll respondent John was adamant in his view that “there’s no question about it. They caused the credit downgrade that will make it harder for the government to get the money it needs. Anyone who impedes government getting the funding it needs to adequately control the country is a terrorist.” Debbie, a Florida poll respondent, echoed John’s remarks saying, “Truer words were never spoken. The Tea Party represents a graver...
  • Senator Demands Media Take Harsher Stance toward Tea Party

    08/06/2011 12:22:06 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 35 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 5 August 2011 | John Semmens
    Arguing that Tea Party conservatives are “an impediment to the proper governance of this country,” Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) demanded the media stop “propping these nuts up.” “It’s one thing for Democrats and Republicans to have respectful disagreements over how much spending or taxes should be increased,” Kerry said. “It’s another thing entirely when outsiders who have no idea how Washington works to interfere with the governing process by trying to impose their twisted vision of an America where government is denied the powers it needs to meet the people’s needs.” Kerry criticized the media for “failing to point out...
  • President Mulling Amnesty Proclamation

    07/31/2011 12:09:44 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 29 July 2011 | John Semmens
    In a speech before the National Council of La Raza, an organization dedicated to promoting the interests of the Latino “race,” President Obama commiserated with the “pain” of illegal immigrants and shared his frustration with what he called a “do nothing” Congress. Obama said “the idea of bypassing Congress is very tempting. Getting a hundred senators and 400 representatives to take action on anything is like herding cats. Everybody’s got their own notions of where we ought to go. On top of this, many serve constituencies comprised of rednecks and rubes. So even if their hearts are in the right...
  • Democrats Assail GOP Case for Balanced Budget

    07/23/2011 9:52:25 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 22 July 2011 | John Semmens
    Representative Jim Moran (D-Va) insisted that GOP use of former president Thomas Jefferson’s opposition to government borrowing to bolster the case against raising the debt limit is “unfair” and “inappropriate.” “First of all, Jefferson was one of the founders of the Democratic Party,” Moran contended. “If anyone is going to interpret what he stood for that right belongs to members of that same Party. The GOP’s attempt to enlist him for their cause is unfair.” “Second, even if Jefferson may have expressed an aversion to borrowing as a policy position, his behavior was quite the contrary,” Moran continued. “Jefferson loved...
  • Arguing (?) with an Obama Supporter

    07/18/2011 1:09:05 PM PDT · by pabianice · 63 replies
    A Liberal Replies | 7/18/11
    As I noted on another post, I recently, accidentally, hit the dreaded “Reply All” to a post from a third party. The issue involved who is to blame for Obama and his disastrous, destructive policies. One of the “Reply All” people replied with a barrage of Leftist insanity. The argument continues. For the education of my fellow Freepers, here is a collection to date. I post this as an anecdotal but representative sample of the pro-Obama, delusional Left. This may strike some as simply amusing. It is not. It is what we have to face in 2012 and beyond. Misspellings...
  • GE CEO Blames Business Colleagues for High Unemployment

    07/17/2011 1:01:00 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 20 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 15 July 2011 | John Semmens
    General Electric (GE) Chairman and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) Jeffrey Immelt castigated his business peers calling them “the prime suspects” behind the nation’s persistent high unemployment. “They’d like to point the finger at high taxes, excessive regulation, economic uncertainty, or President Obama, but they can’t,” Immelt insisted. “Businesses are the ones that decide whether to hire people. The government isn’t stopping them from offering jobs.” Immelt speculated that “some businesses may be holding back on hiring out of animosity toward the President,” but characterized this as “a bad strategy.” “Look, if you cooperate with the President there are definitely benefits,”...
  • President Dismisses Poll Showing Voters Oppose Raising Debt Ceiling

    07/16/2011 3:24:13 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 22 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 15 July 2011 | John Semmens
    President Obama dismissed the idea that a poll showing 69% of voters opposed to raising the debt ceiling ought to have any impact on policy. “What does the average person know about government finance?” the President wondered. “I’d say practically nothing. An individual’s experience with debt is vastly different from what the government faces. An individual must pay his debts out of his own income. The government has other options.” “For one, the government can tax other people’s income to pay its debts,” Obama continued. “The government can also print money to pay for stuff. Individuals can’t do that.” “Finally,...
  • McConnell’s Proposal to Cede Debt Authority to President Gaining Traction

    07/16/2011 11:20:56 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 47 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 15 July 2011 | John Semmens
    Fearful that a failure to raise the federal government’s debt ceiling “could lead to the end of government as we know it,” Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) has proposed legislation that would grant President Barack Obama unilateral authority to increase the nation’s debt load. “In an ideal world decisions on how much the government ought to spend should be made by Congress,” McConnell said. “However, the current crisis requires that we think outside of the ‘Constitutional box.’ With the legislative power split between our two Parties there is no chance for an agreement on how to deal with this crisis. Our...