Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
No more than 10 years... my goodness. At any rate, maybe Bill will be gone before Tom. I mean, we can hope, yes? :o|
The chicken was good, but I only ate one drumstick. I’ll save the other one for tomorrow.
This week is already messed up and I’m not a happy camper.
I will have to send this thing to Dell, and it’s getting to be such a pain in the backside. I just want to go lie down and pretend like the day never happened. My bad.
Muslim Restaurant Workers Serve Up More Than Customers Ordered.
Makes one wonder about the kebab vendors in Gotham..
I wouldn’t know. I don’t eat at those.
After paying rent there’s not a lot of cash left over to enjoy NYC.
LOL!
Avoided like the plague. There is a clue on that outlet’s name.....K.P. LoL.
Translation upon request. :)
“That’s funny I actually clicked on the wrong thread and posted without realizing I was on this one.”
That’s how it happens to most people. Before you know what has happened you’re teleported to the outer reaches of the Solar System.
Welcome to the best place on the internetz. :)
That’s how it happens to most people. Before you know what has happened you’re teleported to the outer reaches of the Solar System.
Welcome to the best place on the internetz.
The Flying Castle, which is a separate Habitat unto itself, is associated quite intimately with two other Habitats, constituting for quite practical purposes a small planet.
Habitat A is on Hong Kong Time, Habitat B is on GMT, and the Castle will be on Pacific Time. This allows people to be allegedly alert and awake no matter what time it is. Being our own miniature planet doesn't mean we can avoid watching out for collisions.
Although they are eight time zones apart on their clocks, each Habitat is only minutes away on the shipboard transit system, which is the equivalent of climbing inside a cue ball and rolling around under the table until you fetch up where you need to be. Who could complain about such efficiency?
On another note, I am looking for someone to blame. I was fine at church yesterday but as the day progressed I began feeling more and more under the crud. Since I haven't been around Tax Chick I can't blame her younguns for transferring the crud they were sporting last week or whenever.
Prolly can blame one of the grandkids since they were here over the weekend. Or maybe I can blame Son #2. But so far no typsos have shown up so that's probably out.
Anyway, I now have a case of some flavor of respiratory nasal fevery ague. And depleting my stash of Nose Wiping Supplies commonly but incorrectly and illegally called Kleenex®. Kleenex® is a registered brand name that Kimberly Clark defends so as to not allow the brand name to lapse into public domain and become generic.
Such a fate befell Otis Elevator Company and their trademark 'Escalator'. When they finally decided to enforce their trademark it was ruled that 'Escalator' had become genericized. So Otis may have it registered but cannot keep anyone else from making the product and naming it thus..
I need another Nose Wiping Paper Product commonly but incorrectly and illegally called Kleenex®..
“I am looking for someone to blame. I was fine at church yesterday...”
That sounds a little to quick.
Go back three or four days....there is the culprit.
Blame Darks!
Just get a roll of toilet paper. It won't be too proud to substitoot.
Blame Darks!
I think I have found the culprit...
But where did it come from prior?
I still feel wrecked.
Who was snorfelcoughing before you?
Blame them.
....wasn’t paying attention....
And even worse, could have picked it up at work.
Sorry about your Crud. We often run out of the Great Value Facial Tissues here.
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