Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Ya know? Since CFIDS darkened my dorsal, I’m very squeamish when it comes to critters with more that four legs and photos of things people do to each other out of spite.
All this to say, I’m not even remotely tempted to click on that link! ;o]
LOL!
Oh, Nully, that’s FUNNY!!!! First laugh of the day! Thanks!
Thanks, Moosie! *hug*
Somehow, I believe if it can be made to work, you can do it, and that looks like something you could have made. In my mind, at least.
Morning all!
I try not to run out of Great Value Kleenex Paper Product Substitute because of my allergies. And I try not to run out of Equate Benedryl for the same reason.
This spring has made up for all the springs I’ve ever experienced here, where I exhibited no allergic symptoms whatsoever. And that’s odd because this is the second wettest spring since records have been kept here.
W00t!
Two pics of floof this morning! How do we rate?
It’s supposed to get up to 88 today, but by Saturday, it will be back down to 70. *sigh* Yo-yo weather.
Good morning. It seemed like a day that required extra kittens.
I’m about to load up some Offspring and go to Weight Watchers. Pat will stay here and do higher maths; FReepmail him if you need any help.
I need the lower maths. I’ve never quite mastered the original four, early, grade school level maths.
Good luck at WW. I’m just hanging out until 1000 when I can go get the rental laptop.
LOL!
Following some errors and omissions, I’m now at Goodyear getting two new tires for the van. Tom is in charge at home. He was playing recordings of Hitler speeches when I left.
Time to re-tire ?
There’s no retirement from my job!
At least now I have two new tires on the front and two new-ish tires on the back. Should keep me rolling for another year or so.
I hate to even think about buying tires for my truck. And it’s about time to have them rotated, too, and I need to get the oil changed.
Tomorrow morning, I think I will take it to get it washed while I still have the money.
I’m back from Rent-A-Center, where I did all the stuff I needed (I thought) for the rental, and they told me I had to give them a copy of my income and my rent amount, and as soon as they got it, they would deliver the computer.
About 90 minutes ago, I called and told them the paperwork was ready and I’m still waiting... No wonder I don’t want to do business with them again. He gave me the impression that the truck would be “right out.” Unngh.
I’m planning to go to The Salvation Army tomorrow. Asuncion wants us to wear white skirts or pants on Sunday, and I don’t have any. Not that she’ll be upset if I wear black, but it’s the principle of the thing. Besides, I might find something really good.
If weren’t such an early riser, I might think about going to the thrift store, but even though I’ll be a block away in the morning when I get the truck washed, I’ll be two hours early for the thrift store.
Then I have to go all the way back past here and get to the salon in time for them to open so I can get my hair cut right.
I may have some time to kill between the two, so maybe I’ll go to IHOP and have a pancake. It’s just around the corner from the salon.
I haven’t treated me to breakfast for a long time!
Good idea! TSA doesn’t open until 10:00, which is a bit annoying, but maybe we can get to the gym and back before.
How was your WW meeting?
And good luck on your thrift store shopping tomorrow!
Are the girls having fun with their grandmother?
Gained a bit, but I only followed the plan half the week. (The early half ...). Maybe next week will go better. At least I saw my friends! Miss Jane, who will be 80 next month, said her husband was home digging out a huge tree stump with a backhoe.
I haven’t heard from Mom or the girls today, so I expect they went to one of the Universal parks. Their weather forecast was good. You have to go to two to see all the Harry Potter stuff!
Wow. I’d like to see all the Harry Potter stuff!
Miss Jane will be 80 and her husband is how old? Digging stumps? Whoa! I don’t know if I’ll be that active at 80, but I’d sure like to try!
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