Psychologist Discovers “Anti-Socialist Personality Disorder”

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 8 March 2009 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

In a bid to marginalize criticism of the massive expansion of government emerging from the Obama Administration, professors at Harvard’s “Third Conference on Law and Mind Sciences” presented evidence for what they dubbed “anti-socialist personality disorder.”

In one paper titled “The Palliative Function of Ideology,” Ph.D. candidate Jaime Napier from NYU postulated that the self-reported higher levels of personal happiness of conservatives was, in itself, a sign of serious mental illness. “In a world wallowing in poverty and oppression, angst and neurosis are the healthy responses,” Napier wrote. “Liberals manifest a robust magnitude of both angst and neurotic tendencies in their responses to our surveys of mental attitudes.”

“Conservatives, on the other hand, are deficient in this area,” Napier observed. “Their focus on family, faith, and career is systemically pathological given the over all state of the world. Therapy is indicated.”

The characterization of disagreeable political ideas as a mental illness is reminiscent of the old Soviet Union practice of labeling its dissenters as deranged and incarcerating them in hospitals for treatment.

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

I'm ignoring you.... ; ^ )

[tubebender]

Snicker....

[jonascord]

Is a personality disorder good enough to use as an insanity defence in a mass homicide case? I'm pretty sure I can worth up a world record killing spree in Ithaca, NY, or the Chicago City Council...

It is a long drive, tho...

[70times7]

Yeah! I always wanted to be neurotic!

No, no, no - you are NOT neurotic, and that is why you are mentally ill.

Dear Lord, how much worse will it get?

[fish hawk]

Did you know that “Napier” is the name of the Joker in Batman before he was the Joker? LOL

[bigheadfred]

You were (all) right... :-)

[Grizzled Bear]

Thank God it’s you! For a moment I believed this was real!

I wonder if they will ever categorize “Barking Moonbat Disorder.”

[tubebender]

And did you know that Reiper is Napier spelled backwards? Giggle...

[txnativegop]

Much, much, worse, unfortunately. ;)

[ApplegateRanch]

Did you know that “Napier” is the name of the Joker in Batman before he was the Joker?

You sure? I woulda sworn it was Ledger.

[SouthTexas]

I am perfectly happy with my deficiencies, thank you very much.

[ApplegateRanch]

started my therapy today by opening a new bottle of Bob's Really Good Red at 5:00PM Dago time...

Just-a for that racist derogatorism, I'm-a gonna wop, wop, wop you!

[ForGod'sSake]

Most excellent piece of -- satire? I have a nagging suspicion it may be prophetic. Still in all a hoot! Thanks for the ping.

[Just another Joe]

Just don’t mix your meds.... ;)

Meds? ;^)

[tet68]

That’s too close for satire, john.

You know that’s what they are planning.

[potlatch]

Thanks Spirit.
Lol, I am seeing less happiness and a bit more angst and neurotic tendencies here on the forum since the election of Zero!!

Comes out very strongly sometimes too!

[Alamo-Girl]

LOLOL!

[fish hawk]

In the one Jack Nicholson was the Joker. Not the actors name but the name in the script was Napier. (the Character)

[LayoutGuru2]

Does this mean I can qualify for free meds from the 0bama Health Plan to help with my affliction?