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Top 10: Worst Pickup Lines Ever
TheSoko ^

Posted on 01/14/2006 10:24:24 AM PST by navysealdad

8. Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you?
5. I’m here - what were your other two wishes?
2. How would you like your eggs for breakfast: scrambled, boiled or fertilized?"

(Excerpt) Read more at thesoko.com ...


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: pickuplines; singles; top10; wherespissant; worstpickuplines; worstpickuplinesever
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1 posted on 01/14/2006 10:24:26 AM PST by navysealdad
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To: navysealdad

"Wanna Breed"? Guy I knew in the army used this. The amazing theing is he actually would score about 15% of the time. I guess if it is stupid but it works, maybe it isn't stupid.


2 posted on 01/14/2006 10:26:26 AM PST by MNJohnnie (Misuse of the Commerce Clause is the root of all Congressional evil)
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To: Monkey Face; Dead Corpse; King Prout

Hey ping the tribe. Bet you all can have some fun with this thread


3 posted on 01/14/2006 10:27:58 AM PST by MNJohnnie (Misuse of the Commerce Clause is the root of all Congressional evil)
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To: navysealdad
Ted Kennedy: "Hey, want to see my new Oldsmobile"?

Ted Kennedy: "I'm drunk. My wife aint here. Any of you girls over 18"?"

4 posted on 01/14/2006 10:29:25 AM PST by LdSentinal
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To: navysealdad
2. How would you like your eggs for breakfast: scrambled, boiled or fertilized?"

Lol!

5 posted on 01/14/2006 10:31:43 AM PST by MotleyGirl70
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To: LdSentinal

Bill Clinton. "That's a good looking mummy"


6 posted on 01/14/2006 10:32:02 AM PST by MNJohnnie (Misuse of the Commerce Clause is the root of all Congressional evil)
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To: navysealdad; .cnI redruM; 537cant be wrong; 68 grunt; A. Patriot; A_Conservative_Chinese; ...

Hehe. :)


7 posted on 01/14/2006 10:32:17 AM PST by EveningStar
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To: navysealdad

The ones you chose were the better ones.
These made me really laugh....

"You look like a hooker I once knew in Reno."
"I've had quite a bit to drink and you're beginning to look pretty good"

Yeah, that's gonna get the babes. Lol.

"4. My name is Bill and I'm conducting a poll... in my pants."

Strictly for laughs.


8 posted on 01/14/2006 10:33:16 AM PST by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: EveningStar; Dashing Dasher; pissant
"Do you ride side saddle, or astride?"

"Would you like a hot dog to go with those buns"

C'mon guys, help me out with some more?

9 posted on 01/14/2006 10:34:46 AM PST by Clemenza (Smartest words ever written by a Communist: "Show me the way to the next Whiskey Bar")
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To: LdSentinal
Ted Kennedy: "I'm drunk. My wife aint here. Any of you girls over 18"?"

Bill Clinton: "I'm drunk. My wife aint here. Any of you girls under 18"?"

10 posted on 01/14/2006 10:35:24 AM PST by freedumb2003 (American troops cannot be defeated. American Politicians can.)
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To: LdSentinal

Ted Kennedy: Wanna make a sandwich.


11 posted on 01/14/2006 10:35:27 AM PST by colorcountry (Currently not in the process of becoming a God!)
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To: navysealdad; EveningStar
From the immortal Glenn Quagmire:


12 posted on 01/14/2006 10:36:32 AM PST by Clemenza (Smartest words ever written by a Communist: "Show me the way to the next Whiskey Bar")
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To: navysealdad
"Nobody moves... nobody gets hurt."
13 posted on 01/14/2006 10:37:10 AM PST by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle ("It'sTime for Republicans to Start Toeing the Conservative Line, NOT the Other Way Around!")
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To: navysealdad; Jersey Republican Biker Chick; najida; PaulaB; EX52D; teenyelliott; peacebaby; ...

I always thought the worst pick-up line in history was,


"Hi, My friends call me Pissant!"


14 posted on 01/14/2006 10:40:09 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Laryngitis sucks.)
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To: MNJohnnie
"Wanna Breed"? Guy I knew in the army used this. The amazing theing is he actually would score about 15% of the time. I guess if it is stupid but it works, maybe it isn't stupid.

He was either really, really hot, funny or lying.

15 posted on 01/14/2006 10:40:57 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Laryngitis sucks.)
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To: MotleyGirl70

Oh, you're here too. I'm not surprised! lol


16 posted on 01/14/2006 10:41:20 AM PST by ovrtaxt (I looked for common sense with a telescope. All I could see was the moon of Uranus.)
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To: navysealdad
I still like Vic Ferrari's couple of pick-up lines

You look like a girl who has heard evry cheap pick-up line in the book....so one more wont matter"

and vic's classic:

I'm in to Italian films, french wine, and bee-you-tee-ful ladies!
If you're intersested let's talk. If not it's been fun.

"Vic, huh?"

Why don't you see how I handle a tight corner?

Terrible humor Vic, but I love that smile!

Come on! Walk with me! Talk with me!

17 posted on 01/14/2006 10:41:38 AM PST by stylin19a (God does not apply to your alloted time, the hours spent playing golf.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

"Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'cause I can see myself in your pants."


18 posted on 01/14/2006 10:42:14 AM PST by rattrap
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To: navysealdad

I'm new in town. Can you give me directions to your place?


19 posted on 01/14/2006 10:43:02 AM PST by Solamente
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To: navysealdad

A guy once walked up to me on a subway platform and said.
"I'd like to see your glasses next mine on my nightstand." Weird, huh?


20 posted on 01/14/2006 10:43:29 AM PST by Hildy (Spielberg spends his spare time memorializing the last Holocaust while working to justify the next.)
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To: Hildy

weird ? I dunno....let's see your glasses


21 posted on 01/14/2006 10:45:23 AM PST by stylin19a (God does not apply to your alloted time, the hours spent playing golf.)
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To: Clemenza
My all-time favorite bad pick up line is this one:

"Excuse me Miss...I seem to have misplaced my Congressional Medal of Honor. Have you seen it?"

22 posted on 01/14/2006 10:46:44 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Crime cannot be tolerated. Criminals thrive on the indulgences of society's understanding.)
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To: navysealdad
"I'm lost. Can I come home with you?"
23 posted on 01/14/2006 10:47:30 AM PST by CarrotAndStick (The articles posted by me needn't necessarily reflect my opinion.)
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To: MNJohnnie

Because it suggests commitment. No mystery about that one.


24 posted on 01/14/2006 10:47:51 AM PST by firebrand
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To: Clemenza

I'd like to see you out of that dress.

I'm wondering how that dress would look when thrown on my floor.

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?

Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.

Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!


25 posted on 01/14/2006 10:47:58 AM PST by nhoward14 (Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.)
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To: navysealdad

'Would you like to come to a pants party?'....Brick, in 'Anchorman-The Legend of Ron Burgundy'.


26 posted on 01/14/2006 10:48:40 AM PST by originalbuckeye
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To: navysealdad

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I could make your bed rock!


27 posted on 01/14/2006 10:49:38 AM PST by TC Rider (The United States Constitution 1791. All Rights Reserved.)
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To: Clemenza

If I said you have a hot body, would you hold it against me?


28 posted on 01/14/2006 10:49:39 AM PST by PurVirgo (Do they really believe their own BS?)
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To: navysealdad

Honestly,do ladies really respond to a pick up line from a complete stranger?


29 posted on 01/14/2006 10:50:06 AM PST by carlr
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To: Clemenza; EveningStar

1. "You're ugly but you intrigue me."
2. "Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you."
3. "I'm drunk."
4. "Hi, my friends call me Creepy."
5. "I just threw up."
6. "I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."
7. "You have the face of a saint -- a Saint Bernard."
8. "Is that a false nose?"
9. "You'll do."
10. "Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"


30 posted on 01/14/2006 10:51:05 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Laryngitis sucks.)
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To: KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle; EveningStar

"Wanna see the Captain's Log?" ~~James T. Kirk


31 posted on 01/14/2006 10:51:27 AM PST by TheBigB (Someone's always playing corporation games...who cares, they're always changing corporation names)
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To: navysealdad

"Well, that's a nice little bit of nothing you're almost wearing."

(delivered as nonchalantly as possible while sipping a vodka martini)


32 posted on 01/14/2006 10:52:21 AM PST by rightwinggoth
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To: carlr

No.


33 posted on 01/14/2006 10:53:02 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Laryngitis sucks.)
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To: ovrtaxt
Of course :)

I have to know which pick up lines to avoid.

Btw, your Jeff Spicoli post on the 80's thread was good. "Fast Times" is an 80's classic; I've seen it many times. I love when he shows up to Mr. Hand's class with a bagel in his pants.


34 posted on 01/14/2006 10:53:15 AM PST by MotleyGirl70
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To: Dashing Dasher

Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here.

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.

Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.

If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".

If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful girl named that?"

Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!


35 posted on 01/14/2006 10:54:27 AM PST by nhoward14 (Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.)
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To: MotleyGirl70
I have to know which pick up lines to avoid.

hehe If I wasn't married, I'd try a few out on you! Of course, you're in the frozen north, that would be quite a 'pickup'.

36 posted on 01/14/2006 10:57:44 AM PST by ovrtaxt (I looked for common sense with a telescope. All I could see was the moon of Uranus.)
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To: Clemenza; EveningStar; apackof2

The Replies & Comebacks:

I'd love to, but...

1. I have to floss my cat.
2. I've dedicated my life to linguini.
3. I want to spend more time with my blender.
4. the President said he might drop in. (used before 2000)
5. the man on television told me to stay tuned.
6. I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
7. I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
8. it's my parakeet's bowling night.
9. it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
10. I'm building a pig from a kit.
11. I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
12. I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
13. there's a disturbance in the Force.
14. I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
15. I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
16. I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
17. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
18. I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
19. I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
20. my crayons all melted together.
21. I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
22. I'm in training to be a household pest.
23. I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
24. my patent is pending.
25. I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
26. I'm sandblasting my oven.
27. I'm worried about my vertical hold.
28. I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
29. I'm being deported.
30. the grunion are running.
31. I'll be looking for a parking space.
32. my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
33. the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
34. I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
35. I have to fluff my shower cap.
36. I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
37. I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
38. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
39. my plot to take over the world is thickening.
40. I have to fulfill my potential.
41. I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
42. it's too close to the turn of the century.
43. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
44. my subconscious says no.
45. I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
46. I left my body in my other clothes.
47. the last time I went, I never came back.
48. I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
49. I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
50. none of my socks match.
51. I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
52. I'm having all my plants neutered.
53. people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
54. I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
55. I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."
56. I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
57. my yucca plant is feeling yucky.
58. I'm touring China with a wok band.
59. my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
60. I never go out on days that end in "Y."
61. my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
62. I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.
63. I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.
64. I'm too old/young for that stuff.
65. I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
66. I have too much guilt.
67. there are important world issues that need worrying about.
68. I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
69. I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
70. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
71. I feel a song coming on.
72. I'm trying to be less popular.
73. my bathroom tiles need grouting.
74. I have to bleach my hare.
75. I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
76. I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
77. you know how we psychos are.
78. my favorite commercial is on TV.
79. I have to study for a blood test.
80. I'm going to be old someday.
81. I've been traded to Cincinnati.
82. I'm observing National Apathy Week.
83. I have to rotate my crops.
84. my uncle escaped again.
85. I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
86. I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
87. I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
88. I have to go to court for kitty littering.
89. I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
90. I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
91. having fun gives me prickly heat.
92. I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
93. I have to jog my memory.
94. my palm reader advised against it.
95. my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
96. I have to stay home and see if I snore.
97. I prefer to remain an enigma.
98. I think you want the OTHER[your name].
99. I have to sit up with a sick ant.
100. I'm trying to cut down.
101. ... well, maybe.


37 posted on 01/14/2006 10:58:17 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Laryngitis sucks. But so does the flu...)
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To: Dashing Dasher
2. "Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you."

BWAHAA!

"Sure, I'd love to come home with you. Let me just remember to take my Valtrex."

38 posted on 01/14/2006 10:58:31 AM PST by Clemenza (Smartest words ever written by a Communist: "Show me the way to the next Whiskey Bar")
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To: MotleyGirl70

BTW, the bagel thing- reminds of Spinal Tap where Derek gets caught in the metal detector with the cucumber in his pants!


39 posted on 01/14/2006 10:58:53 AM PST by ovrtaxt (I looked for common sense with a telescope. All I could see was the moon of Uranus.)
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To: Dashing Dasher
"Sorry, but I'm Gay."

Oddly enough, this rejection makes them want you more!

40 posted on 01/14/2006 10:59:48 AM PST by Clemenza (Smartest words ever written by a Communist: "Show me the way to the next Whiskey Bar")
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To: Clemenza
LOL!!!

Darn those Pharmacology commercials. We shouldn't know what Valtrex is!

41 posted on 01/14/2006 11:00:10 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Laryngitis sucks. But so does the flu...)
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To: Dashing Dasher
Ever kiss a one eared bunny on his nose ?

Best said with one pants pocket turned inside out and zipper down

42 posted on 01/14/2006 11:08:48 AM PST by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. )
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To: Clemenza

That's one thing I could never do. I couldn't figure out a decent pick-up line to save my life. I don't know how some guys do it.


43 posted on 01/14/2006 11:09:56 AM PST by Rate_Determining_Step (US Military - Draining the Swamp of Terrorism since 2001!)
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To: EveningStar

"Baby, you're more fly than Jeff Goldblum!"


44 posted on 01/14/2006 11:12:16 AM PST by RightWingAtheist ("Why thank you Mr.Obama, I'm proud to be a Darwinist!")
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To: navysealdad

I saw a friend use this one and it worked:

"Nice shoes, wanna f#ck?"


45 posted on 01/14/2006 11:25:28 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (I can dance in boots just fine, thanks!)
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To: Squantos

Has that ever worked for you?


46 posted on 01/14/2006 11:26:07 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Laryngitis sucks. But so does the flu...)
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To: navysealdad

Non, no, no. Worst ever line:

Sleep with me and your little sister will be released unharmed.


47 posted on 01/14/2006 11:29:50 AM PST by noblejones (Ben Stein for President, 2008.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

You tell me......:o)

Hope yer feeling better !


48 posted on 01/14/2006 11:29:50 AM PST by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. )
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To: Dashing Dasher; Horatio Gates; Squantos; sit-rep

Would you like to call 9-1-1 and make a cop come?


49 posted on 01/14/2006 11:33:41 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: freedumb2003

Bill Clinton: "I'm drunk. My wife aint here. Any of you girls under 18"?"

Bill Clinton #2: "I'm drunk. My wife is a lesbian. Are any of you girls? Or not?"


50 posted on 01/14/2006 11:38:06 AM PST by Eccl 10:2 (Pray for the peace of Jerusalem - Ps 122:6)
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