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Dad Arrives At Vacant Lot Where Mall Used To Be To Begin His Christmas Shopping
The Babylon Bee ^ | December 24, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/26/2022 8:33:13 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

MONTGOMERYVILLE, PA — Local dad Justin Simpson took a trip to the mall on Christmas Eve to begin his Christmas shopping, only to find a vacant lot where the mall once stood.

"Oh man, I've been coming here forever," Simpson said. "I mean, it's been a few years, but I used to love getting malts at the Woolworth soda fountain. Then my mom would always make us buy some educational books over at Borders."

A distraught Mr. Simpson had reportedly planned to shop for his entire family at the mall this year. "I figured I could get the older kids some MP3s at Sam Goody, then hit KB Toys for the little ones," he said. "Finally, it was off to the jewelry counter at Sears to get something for my wife. Where am I going to buy presents now?"

While Simpson talked, several other confused-looking fathers arrived at the empty mall lot. They all stared wistfully at the weed-choked rubble for a few minutes before aimlessly driving away.

As for Simpson, he had quickly moved on to his backup Christmas shopping plan. "I'm going to see if I can find a Toys 'R' Us for the kids," he said. "As for the wife, I suppose I can just take her out to dinner at Howard Johnson's, and then we can go to see a drive-in movie. We haven't done that in ages."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Food; History; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; borders; christmasshopping; deadmall; howardjohnsons; isthisthebee; kbtoys; outofbusiness; samgoody; satire; sears; toysrus; woolworths
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To: Salamander

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Rosa_Mall_(Florida)


41 posted on 12/26/2022 9:43:44 AM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Heh. Don’t laugh.

I’ve been there.


42 posted on 12/26/2022 9:45:14 AM PST by sauropod (2000 miles - Proof that Chrissie Hynde can sing the phone book and it sounds fantastic.)
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To: Larry Lucido

I’ll just add your experience to a Lotus 1-2-3 spreadsheet I have on my Compaq computer, right after DeLorean’s entry.


43 posted on 12/26/2022 9:48:17 AM PST by Lazamataz (The firearms I own today, are the firearms I will die with. How I die will be up to them.)
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To: Red Badger

Out of the Box Ventures, a subsidiary of Miami-based Lionheart Capital recently purchased the property


44 posted on 12/26/2022 9:54:01 AM PST by Hot Tabasco
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To: Lazamataz
I went to Midtown Mall in Rochester, and noticed that some thieves ran off with ...
45 posted on 12/26/2022 9:56:04 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: MayflowerMadam
"Bee. Funny. Woolworths. Borders. (I actually liked to spend time in both of those places myself.)"

We didn't have a car growing up, so the bus was our mode of getting where we wanted to go. Downtown Rochester was the place to go back then. Woolworth's and Neisner's were right across the street from each other. Both had luncheon areas and Neisner's had a cafeteria in the basement. They also sold pizza in a separate area of the first floor. There was a Planter's Peanuts store on the corner, the same side as Neisner's, and you could smell the peanuts cooking no matter what time of year it was. Sibley's was a large department store, and its rival McCurdy's was just across from it. Sibley's had it own restaurant, grocery store, and bakery inside. Down the street from Sibley's was the Paramount Theater. At the other end of the same street was the RKO Palace Theater. There was a Grant's, Lerner's, Thom Mcan shoe store, The National (a higher priced clothing store), among others that lined E. Main Street in Rochester. In 1962, Midtown Plaza opened up. Part of it consisted of a two-floor indoor shopping mall. The mall was demolished in 2010.

Today you don't dare go to downtown Rochester, especially after dark, for fear of your life.

46 posted on 12/26/2022 10:06:03 AM PST by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
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To: Red Badger
Rumor is that the mall will be torn down and replaced with condos...................

I bet they don’t replace. They’ll tear dorm the mall and leave flattened ruble, sure, but they’ll build the condos on what was a nice farm with arable soil so that no food will ever again be grown there .

47 posted on 12/26/2022 10:07:18 AM PST by Sirius Lee (They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
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To: dfwgator

I didn’t buy one gift this year. My wife had the adult kids covered. She wanted a membership to a museum and bought it when she visited the museum last week. (To be fair, the museum is 600 miles from home and we were there on vacation this week. Even better, they weren’t selling memberships and she just bought one day tickets for her and my daughter.


48 posted on 12/26/2022 10:12:46 AM PST by cyclotic (Follow 1776rm.com. Fighting for our Constitution. @1776RM on Truth)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Maybe he should just rent a copy of Miracle on 34th Street from Blockbusters.

-PJ

49 posted on 12/26/2022 10:15:44 AM PST by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: Stosh

And while he was in there, he could dial the time: xxx-844-1212.

“At the tone, the time will be 10:53 pm and 10 seconds . . .”


50 posted on 12/26/2022 10:16:10 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: Larry Lucido

If I recall, the Red Barn was at 9 mile and Little Mack. Correct?


51 posted on 12/26/2022 10:16:12 AM PST by cyclotic (Follow 1776rm.com. Fighting for our Constitution. @1776RM on Truth)
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To: Larry Lucido

As a young child, I ate dinner at the one in Gaithersburg, MD. It sat across the street from Gino’s Pizza.


52 posted on 12/26/2022 10:20:17 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: cyclotic

I remember the one on Woodward and Davison.


53 posted on 12/26/2022 10:25:24 AM PST by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks; dfwgator

My heart broke the last time I visited a Fry’s. A shadow of its former self.

The lone cashier looked at me like, “Oh, you hadn’t heard, huh?”

54 posted on 12/26/2022 10:35:06 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Larry Lucido

I didn’t know it was a chain


55 posted on 12/26/2022 10:35:37 AM PST by cyclotic (Follow 1776rm.com. Fighting for our Constitution. @1776RM on Truth)
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To: martin_fierro

Whenever I go back to Fort Lauderdale I keep hoping one day that Peaches Records and Tapes store will magically appear again.


56 posted on 12/26/2022 10:36:48 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: dfwgator

I betcha I know ‘ZACKLY which FL Peaches store you’re talking about, too!

East Sunrise Boulevard and NE 15th Avenue.


57 posted on 12/26/2022 10:42:23 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: martin_fierro

That’s the one.


58 posted on 12/26/2022 10:44:42 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

My Christmas Eve shopping strategy came through again this year


59 posted on 12/26/2022 10:45:10 AM PST by HereInTheHeartland (Have you seen Joe Biden's picture on a milk carton?)
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To: HereInTheHeartland

When I actually did Christmas shopping I just went to the neighborhood CVS store.


60 posted on 12/26/2022 10:48:46 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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