Mark Morford: Monday Night Softcore

The San Francisco Chronic ^ | 11/20/04 | Mark Morford, the pillow biter

[gopwinsin04]

So, who are they? Who are the ones who have no problem watching a Monday Night Football game in which huge sweaty steroid pakced men in cute homoerotic tights smash each other as hard as possible hoping they break bodies, induce aneurysms and draw blood during out most violent, drug addled and corrupted national televised sporting spectatcle, but actually picked up the phone to complain to ABC about the 'racy' ad promoting 'Desperate Housewives' that led into the game?

They are the same people that complained about 1.5 seconds of Janet Jackson's nipple, the same ones who complain about low slung jeans on high school girls and teen sex in the Abercrombie and Fitch catalogs and who think ribbed condoms are the sign of the devil, Astroglide is some sort of dance step and any reference to anal sex means you should be strung up by your eyelids and beaten with Pat Robertson's sermons until you look like Mel Gibson's veal cut Jesus.

They are the same people who have no problem restricing a woman's right to choose and rejecting the undeniable value of stem cell research, but somehow think fertility clinics are God's gift to unhappy, barren Republican parents, clinics where more 'unborn' zygotes that fail to stick are tossed into the trash everyday than in any urban abortion clinic in a year.

What, too harsh? Hardly.

And yes, they are the same ones who fear gays with a schocking and truly hearbreaking intensity and truly believe homosexuals want to 'recruit' their children into the world of dildos, show tunes and tight tank tops, but couldn't care less about the fact that Massachusetts (gay marrige central) has the lowest divorce rate in the nation.

[Walkin Man]

Who are the ones who have no problem watching a Monday Night Football game in which huge sweaty steroid pakced men in cute homoerotic tights...

Gee, I've watched football all of my life and never thought about it like this guy.

I think the author of this piece just outed himself!

[gopwinsin04]

Ms. Morford injects his rampant political leanings into every column..

[RichInOC]

So, who are they? Who are the ones who have no problem watching a Monday Night Football game in which huge sweaty steroid-packed men in cutely homoerotic tights smash each other as hard as possible hoping they break bones and induce aneurysms and draw blood...?

Uh, Markie, I do believe you're confusing the actual MNF broadcast with the MNF viewing party at your favorite bar.

[gopwinsin04]

lmao!!

[randog]

I dare the fairy Morford to go into any NFL locker room and say this.

She'd pass out before she got a word out.

Men, men, men, men...

[O.C. - Old Cracker]

Oh. I assumed again. Just figured this
Morford idiot was a male. Wiping egg off face.

[Fzob]

And Morford never fails to deliver in every column.

Or better yet

And Morford never fails to deliver in every colon.

[NeoCaveman]

Oh. I assumed again. Just figured this Morford idiot was a male. Wiping egg off face.

Male possibly, but Missy Morford is no man.

[dfwgator]

Who are the ones who have no problem watching a Monday Night Football game in which huge sweaty steroid pakced men in cute homoerotic tights...

This guy would have been a natural host for "Men On Football" on In Living Color.

[gopwinsin04]

Those are the usual keywords for any Morford screed..