Posted on 11/28/2004 4:59:45 PM PST by patriciaruth
I've got a bunch of Christmas cards ("proudly MADE in the U.S.A.") that will be going with the last Christmas care packages for our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan with candy canes and other goodies, and
I need some fun jokes to go in them!
Please both post your joke here and then send a copy to me by FReepmail with your first name, town and State at the bottom.
I'll print them up and tuck them in the last 4 or 5 dozen cards going out tomorrow and Tuesday.
*****!
There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, President George W. Bush quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Dick Cheney reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John Kerry from the water. Then using (autographed Round Rock Express) baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.
Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick "Who was that?"
"It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has all of God's wisdom."
"Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing........ how's the bait holding up?"
Two Arab brothers, Mustafa, and Hajeeb, immigrated to the US.
Upon arrival to our shores, they made a small bet with one another.
"My brother, which ever one of us is more American by the Year's end, the other will pay the amount of $100.00"
Hajeeb responded,"Agreed, my brother, Allah be with you!"
A year to the day, they met. Mustafa, smiled big, and said,"My brother, today I had breakfast at MacDonald's, took a walk in the Mall, and have just bought a case of Budweiser. I am fully American!"
Hajeeb replies,"F**k You Raghead! You owe me $100!"
You Might Be A Redneck If:
You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
You've ever re-used a paper plate.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say
Cool Whip on the side.
If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
Your stuffings secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
Your secret family recipe is illegal.
You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest Zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLS AND HEATS: IF YOU WANT TO CONDITION OF COOL AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
In a Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMER WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the grounds of private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a city restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai,Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME, WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.
Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
Time to register your fighter jet a lighter side to the Iraq brouhaha...
This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website
by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
course, does not - and made the web department take it down immediately.
(In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief
suppliers of military aircraft).
_________________________________________________________________
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill
out the warranty registration card below. Answering the
survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to
develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt.
[_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
First Name: ...............................................
Initial: ........
Last Name: ...............................................
Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
Code Name: ...............................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19...... / ...... /......
4. Serial Number:
..............................................
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be
used:
[_] North America
[_] Central / South America
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Europe
[_] Middle East
[_] Africa
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend
to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Check all that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please
indicate the interests and activities in which you and your
spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
groups, and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO
I need to talk to your Pa...
A Kansas Farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm And knocked at the farmhouse door.
A young boy about 12 opened the door.
Is yer pa home?" the farmer asked.
"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied.
"He went into town."
Well, said the farmer, is yer Ma here?"
"No, sir, she ain't here neither.
She went into town with pa."
How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"He went with Ma and pa."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely.
"I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer pa."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably,
"I really wanted to talk to yer pa.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Dorothy, pregnant."
The boy considered for a moment.
"You would have to talk to Pa about that", he finally conceded.
"If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, "but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard."
"You think so", the old rooster says. "Do you think I am all washed up?"
"Yes you are" affirms the young rooster.
"Okay", the oldster admits, "You may be right, I may be getting old but I bet I could still surprise a young rooster like you. Tell you what, to settle this what if you and me have a race all around the farmhouse. You'll need to spot me a ten-count, you're being so young and strong, but I bet that before the race is over you might learn some respect for an old guy like me".
"This is silly, but I suppose there's no harm to it", the new rooster agrees.
So the old rooster starts out just as fast as he can. After the 10-count the young one blazes out after him. Sure enough with each step he gains on the old guy. They're both tearing around the house with the new rooster just behin the old guy and ready to overtake him when they pass the farmer standing on his front porch. Immediately he picks up his shotgun and blasts the young rooster dead.
"Dang!" says the farmer. "That's the third queer rooster I bought this month!"
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
precisely.
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,” What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's John Kerry's clock?" asked the man.
"John Kerry's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FROM BEDLAM
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Towns and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and
Fire Hydrants etc etc etc...
PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna
Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why.
DEPRESSION: Silent Anedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock ... (better start again)
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On the First Day of Christmas My True
Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of You Roasting on an Open
Fire.
.....about 2nd Lt. Mitchell Clapp, Randolph AFB TX.
Every second lieutenant acquires embarrassing memories when he wears gold bars; it seems to come with the job. The first time the Air Force sent me on temporary duty by myself, I experienced probably the most embarrassing moment in my life, which I tell here in hopes that other butter bars out there won't make the same mistake.
I was traveling from Wright-Patterson AFB OH to Vandenberg AFB CA one spring, and the flight scheduled me for a two-hour layover in the St. Louis MO airport. I decided to hit the snack bar and bought a cup of coffee, a package of Oreos and a newspaper. After giving the cashier the nine bucks or so these items cost, I scanned the crowded sitting area for a place to relax. The lounge was crowded, but there appeared to be a spot across from a fellow in a military uniform of some sort. "Great!" I thought, "another soldier. Maybe he can tell me about life in the forces.
With my coffee on the right side of the table, my newspaper on the left and my Oreos in the center, I sat down before I took my first close look at the man opposite me. He was a Marine corps brigadier general, a mean-looking man with no hair, an honest-to-God scar on his forehead, and about six rows of ribbons, including the Silver Star with a cluster. To me, the general had horns, fangs, a pitchfork and a long, pointed tail as well. I was already committed to using the table, but not wanting to bother the general, I meekly squeaked out, "Good morning, sir," before sitting down.
I had begun the paper's crossword puzzle and was making good progress when I heard a peculiar rustling sound, much like the crinkling of cellophane. I looked up out of the corner of my eye to discover the general had reached across the center of the table, opened the package of Oreos, taken out one and was eating it. Now, not having attended the Air Force Academy, I was not familiar with how to deal with the finer points of military etiquette, such as what to do when a senior member of another service calmly rips off one of your cookies.
Several responses came to mind, but none of these seemed entirely appropriate. I realized that the honor of the Air Force was, in a small way, at stake here. I certainly couldn't let the general think I was a complete weenie. Besides, at airport prices, one Oreo is a significant fraction of take home pay for a second lieutenant. The only response I could make was to reach across the center of the table, open the opposite end of the package (trying not to notice that the other end had mysteriously come open somehow), extract an Oreo and eat it very, very thoroughly.
"There," I thought, "I've subtly shown the general that these are my Oreos, and he should go buy his own." Marines are known for many qualities, but subtlety is not among them. The general calmly reached out for another Oreo and ate it. (By the way, the general was licking the middles out first before eating the cookies.) Not having said anything the first time, of course, I couldn't bring it up now.
The only thing to do was to take another cookie for myself.
We wound up alternating through the entire package. For an instant our eyes met, and there was palpable tension in the air, but neither of us said a word. After I had finished the last Oreo, they announced something over the public address system. The general got up, put his papers back into his briefcase, picked up the now empty wrapper, threw it away, brushed the few crumbs neatly off the table and left. I sat there marveling at his gall and feeling very foolish. A few minutes later, they announced my flight. I felt a great deal more foolish when I finished my coffee, threw the cup away and lifted my newspaper to reveal.....my Oreos!
Today, two of us are running around the Armed Forces telling the same story, but only one of us has the punch line. And general, if you are reading this, get in touch with me and I will be glad to send you a case of Oreos.
They'd love that.
There is a flock of geese passing overhead in a large "V" formation. Why is one side of the V longer than the other?
Because there are more geese on that side.
Is that photoshopped? If not, that is a one great guy. Brass ones.
(The red x just stayed a red x...)
The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
(Tune: "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen")
The restroom door said "Gentleman"
And so I walked inside,
I took two steps and realized
I'd been taken for a ride,
I heard high voices, turned
and found the place was occupied,
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse,
What could be worse
Than two old nuns, three old ladies and a nurse...
The restroom door said "gentlemen"
It must have been a gag,
As soon as I walked in there
I saw an old hag,
She sprayed me with a can of mace
And slapped me with her bag,
I could tell this just wouldn't be my day,
What can I say?
This just wasn't turning out to be my day...
The restroom door said "gentlemen"
And I would like to find,
That crummy little creep
Who had the nerve to switch the sign,
'Cause I have two black eyes
And one big bruise on my behind,
So I can't sit with comfort and joy
Boy, oh boy,
No, I'll never sit with comfort and joy.
Once upon a time there was a presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice-fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner.
There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things. The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote and frozen lake in Minnesota. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification!
At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the starting line and he has 10 fishes. Soon, Kerry returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day.
At the end of the 2nd day George W. comes in with 20 fishes and Kerry comes in again with none. That evening, Bill Clinton gets together secretly with Kerry and says, "I think George W. is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother
with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way.
The next night (after George W. comes back with
50 fish), Clinton says to Kerry, "Well, what about it, is George W. cheatin'?"
"He sure is, Bill, he's cutting holes in the ice.
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